mortensorchid Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 I'm trying again these days in terms of getting out and getting myself on the market again after so many false starts and bad experiences. What are the best websites in order to meet people based on others' experiences? What are the worst? Before putting in suggestions, I refuse to go back to Match. I have encountered the lowest form of life there - nothing but guys looking for sex (in this area at least).
jerseyboy Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 What part of the country are guys not just looking for sex?
Ody Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 Any site will have a lot of men looking for sex, but then again so would any bar, library, or restaurant. OKCupid.com is the best in my opinion. Free, well designed, no nonsense about how they have a magical fairy dust matching formula for just $19.99. I've had both good and bad dates from it but nothing truly heinous. The staff posts articles that are actually really interesting. This site grew out of two old quiz and humor sites called TheSpark and SparkNotes, so it's not even really 100% a dating site, which is a plus in my opinion since there's material to distract you when you get tired of filing through profiles! Another free one is plentyoffish but I found that to be crap, the design is awful and the sign up process crashes a lot. I don't even bother with the paid ones, or ones that require you to answer a million questions first.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 I suggest that you alter your intentions just a little bit. Instead of trying to find a website at which you can meet streams and streams of guys, why not instead seek websites at which YOU can BE YOURSELF. If you are quite affected by the romantic past, why not create an online journal and tell the whole world every detail, while remaining completely anonymous? That exercise would be so good for you, and if you are true to the anonymity part, nobody will ever have to know and use it against you. I promise you that the image of you expressing yourself deeply, and authentically, is something which will draw more sincere male attention for what's inside than you'll get at some dating website. Not only that, but this would have the added bonus of comprising your having communicated most or all of the troublesome challenges and experiences you've faced, in the event that you do draw social interest from such an online journal. Of course it would be up to you, if after a long time, you should want to disclose your identity to a select regular follower/reader of your journal. Summation: strive to be YOURSELF, in ways that women just can't do when walking alone through dark neighborhoods and clutching their purses out in the real world. It will even FEEL BETTER to present yourself in such a familiar but forever-shielded-until-now way.
Boundary Problem Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 Another free one is plentyoffish but I found that to be crap, the design is awful and the sign up process crashes a lot. I don't even bother with the paid ones, or ones that require you to answer a million questions first. Plenty of Fish I found to be a waste of time. The Forums where people give each other "dating advice" was entertaining for a few weeks, but it got pretty tired, pretty fast. Lots of misrepresentation by the people posting profiles. People blatantly lied about their height, education etc.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 I've never done online dating, but I've heard a few friends say that eHarmony is the best if you're looking for something long-term. The cost ($20-60 a month, depending on how long your membership is) and rather involved personality profiling step weed out most of those just looking for something quick and easy. If I were going to try online dating, I'd probably start there.
Boundary Problem Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 Be careful with e-harmony. Don't loan anybody money if you met them online. i have a client trying to sue to recover loans.......
jerseyboy Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 Its not the sites Its the people attracted to those type of sites. It seems to have its own culture peopled by similar types. Even as a guy I found the quality of women you meet to be significantly below the type of people I would meet on my own just in normal life. Im sure there are quality people on these sites, but sorting through it is way too anoying to even bother. You are getting hundreds of responses. Some of these people are stalkish with respect to getting a response.And the ones you dont want to date act like your just murdered their child. Then you have to filter through all the bs'ers, the dating junkies, the gold diggers lol. Just too much work and aggravation.
dave22 Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 I have found lavalife to be the best by far, both by quality and quantity. But I'm not sure if it's as popular outside of Canada (where I live).
CarrieT Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 My 20 months' worth of experience from a woman's perspective: Mate1 = Low-life guys only looking for sex. (REALLY low-life guys). OKCupid = Seems like a lot of nice guys, but no one seems to respond to communication attempts. Plenty of Fish = More players, but some just interested in non-serious dating; less serious about long-term relationships. Fuego = Pretty site, nice interface - haven't met with a single person on the site. Yahoo = Desperate guys. Possibly wanting relationships - hard to tell... Alt.com = For those wanting kink-oriented sex eHarmony = A LOT of work and a lot of money. I've been on two months now. Ostensibly "communicating" with someone who might be an interesting guy, but it hasn't gone anywhere yet.
Author mortensorchid Posted November 22, 2009 Author Posted November 22, 2009 My 20 months' worth of experience from a woman's perspective: Mate1 = Low-life guys only looking for sex. (REALLY low-life guys). OKCupid = Seems like a lot of nice guys, but no one seems to respond to communication attempts. Plenty of Fish = More players, but some just interested in non-serious dating; less serious about long-term relationships. Fuego = Pretty site, nice interface - haven't met with a single person on the site. Yahoo = Desperate guys. Possibly wanting relationships - hard to tell... Alt.com = For those wanting kink-oriented sex eHarmony = A LOT of work and a lot of money. I've been on two months now. Ostensibly "communicating" with someone who might be an interesting guy, but it hasn't gone anywhere yet. Thank you, CarrieT, as well as all the others for your suggestions. I have another question to post about this, which I will put on a different thread.
johngdating Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 I strongly recommend you stick with Match.com and Yahoo Personals if you are in the US. These are the top two sites with the largest number of users (I have some industry data and also can tell from our order flow-we write online dating profiles for people, see my profile here). The smaller sites are simply not worth the time to learn even the navigation of their unique systems, not to mention the subscription fees. There are plenty of women looking for sex only-no strings attached-please don't think sex-only relationships are sought after by males only! Welcome to the 21st century! John
VeveCakes Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 e harmony sucks, I was on it for 3 months and they sent me the most ridiculous matches, I wasn't interested in a single person. Waste of money!
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 OkCupid.com. I met my boyfriend on there over a year and a half ago, and I've never been happier. And, as an above poster mentioned, the site is so well-designed and well-run, it's amazing the quality and the features you get for a free site.
enchanted771 Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 I think it depends on the situation. I have done Plenty of Fish and met 2 players (even though one of them denies it!), and people misrepersenting themselves, ok cupid was ok, one guy emailed me sexual things so that was kinda creepy. I am on eharmony, the questions are annoying, but you can request fasttrack and skip the questions and just email each other. I have a couple prospects. I did speed dating, and i actually had fun. One guy contacted me back, but it was fun in the process.
CarrieT Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 OkCupid.com. I met my boyfriend on there over a year and a half ago, and I've never been happier. And, as an above poster mentioned, the site is so well-designed and well-run, it's amazing the quality and the features you get for a free site. I think the OKCupid recommendation may depend on where you are located. When I joined it 18 months ago, there was routinely 60,000 to 70,000 people online. Now (just this moment when I checked), there were only around 10,000. I'm not sure why their membership dropped, but it is not the site it was a year ago.
flc Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 I found that pay sites tend to be better as you get people who are more serious. I tried Match, PoF, Fitness Singles and JDate. I got dates from all of them but both long term ones came from Match. Fitness singles was interesting as I was looking for someone that enjoyed working out 4-5 times a week but in the end there seemed to be too many prima donnas who were pretty narcissistic.
Pizzaman81 Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 OkCupid.com. I met my boyfriend on there over a year and a half ago, and I've never been happier. And, as an above poster mentioned, the site is so well-designed and well-run, it's amazing the quality and the features you get for a free site. Ya OkCupid.com is really nice! I am amazed it's free with all the features and cool tests you can take. I met my last gf there, things didn't workout, but it wasn't cuz of OkCupid's fault.
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