Bgirl Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Everyone al LS: If im writting this post is basically because I feel so low abouy myself that I just need to vent and let it all out. So basically one week ago on Thursday , I was at the mall and as I was walking this guy stopped and said" I think you are really beuatiful, would you like to go out for a coffe" I smiled and said I'm not used to this type of encounters but and tried to keep walking but he stepped in front if me and continued describing his background and what he does. Ok I have th admit the guy was cute and he seemed charming and he is a lot of fun, the type of guy that has a lot of energy and just cool to be around, so I gave in and I started talking to him. We spend 4 hours shopping in the mall and at the end we stopped at an icecream, he bought me icecream and we talked. He told me he travels a lot, he is a consultant and he is in town 50% of the time, of the other 50% percent he said, I'm involved in some many activities, like martial arts, salsa dancing, acting classes that I'm looking for a girl that is emotionally strong and wont depend on me 100 % of the time -HINT ONE Then he told me that he just broke up with his girlfriend in March and then he mentioned that he was dating someone for five months and he left her becuase she was to clingy and emotioanlly attached -HINT TWO Then he asked me out for coffe on Sunday and I said to him, give me a call and we'll see how my our weekend goes. After that episode, he was in touch with me 24/7.Last sunday I couldnt meet him becuase I had to stay home supporting my mom, who was going through a tough time. I let him know early in the morning and he said it was ok, we could meet on Monday and he called me at night to follow up on me. On Monday we texted all day , while at work and at the time we were supposed to meet , he called and said "Im on my way baby", he took me to one of his classes so I could see what he does , then he took me out for dinner and then he offered to drive me home, for which we had to go to his place. And of course, we were talking, he served me wine, we kept talking and then we kissed. 10 minutes later.. what you know? I was on his bed doing it. It turned out to be the hottest thing ever, he was good and he was incredibly happy with me too.At the end I wanted to go home, but he pulled me back again and hugged me tight for anothe two hours. Then he dropped me home, all nice. Next day he said good morning first thing, we kept texting and then around the evening, he stopped texting. Next Morning he didnt text, so in the eveing I messaged him very playfully saying" Hi xxx where have you been hiding", hope your day is going good" then he replied and said" hi sexy I have been busy with work doing lots" and stopped messaging me after that. Next day he called me at night and sounded just normal, he said I was one of the msot amazing girls he has ever met, sexy to the max ( I dont mean to overcompliment myself here) , just so positive about life and he was so atonished with me. He invited me to a work event and told me to book a day off to meet one of his frds coming from the states. I was so sick that day and he said" baby im going out with my frds, but i know you are sick I will call you or text to see how you are doing" He never did for two days straight. And now as Im typing this, he just texted me asying" Hey sexyyy!!!!" I dont know what to do because I feel so bad about myself for having slept with him, pretty much a stranger, I dont usually do this. But ok it happened and now it seems like he is swinging between being interested and not being interested. I blame myself for doing it so early.. Tom we agreed to go running early in the morning as we wants to run a marathon with me. Can anyone please tell me what would you do in this situaton? I can't think straight, and Im on time to before I even give a step further.. Should I reply to his text, if so what should I say. Should I continue dating this guy to see where it leads? I'm scared that because I gave him "it" too soon, he is in ti for just that now. And thats certiantly not what I want. But how can I correct that at this point?.. if Mr travel is even worth it..........
RobM Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Don't beat yourself up over this. Relax and figure out if you even like the guy then see where it goes.
hopesndreams Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 What's done is done. Do not entertain thoughts of this guy anymore though. If you do continue to see him, even after he has basically ignored you until he fancied a bit more action, then your just setting yourself up for FWB. Besides, how you met this guy sounds a bit creepy to me.
Author Bgirl Posted November 21, 2009 Author Posted November 21, 2009 Im contemplating not replying to his text, to me waiting tqo days to send a text is not a guy sign. I dont want to beat myself for this, I woulda liked to keep him as a friend maybe, but at this point like "hopesandreams" said, he might just fancy me as a FWB..and I dont think I can change that. If we has really interested he would have messaged me when he said he would, when I was really sick.. bot two days later..I djust dont like this games. And yeah how we met was "diffrerent" but at one point everyone is a stranger and I thought hey why not?
tkgirl Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 Im contemplating not replying to his text, to me waiting tqo days to send a text is not a guy sign. I dont want to beat myself for this, I woulda liked to keep him as a friend maybe, but at this point like "hopesandreams" said, he might just fancy me as a FWB..and I dont think I can change that. If we has really interested he would have messaged me when he said he would, when I was really sick.. bot two days later..I djust dont like this games. And yeah how we met was "diffrerent" but at one point everyone is a stranger and I thought hey why not? try to stop feeling bad about what already happened and focus on what you want for yourself now. I've been guilty of the sleeping with a guy too soon thing (ie the first "date") a few times actually... one time it turned into a (mostly) great 3 year relationship! and on the other end of the spectrum another time it turned into a too long (and not so great) FWB type of thing.. for him anyways! I guess the point I'm trying to make is go with your gut, try to have some boundaries and if it feels likes he's just out for a "good time" and that isn't what you want, then end it... or if you can go with the flow for a bit... see what happens.. maybe things will turn into something more solid... you never know!
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 Gosh I hate the things I sense about stories like this. I want to envision the original poster as someone who conducts her social life as she sees fit, and who doesn't feel the need to apologize for it to anyone, especially to herself. I want to sense an original poster who understands that not just everybody gets those sorts of social advances at the mall, and who treasures them as hers to do with as she sees fit. I want to sense an original poster who won't knock herself afterward, for any choice she made. I want to sense an original poster who can see that she was an equal part of the equation, and who will have strong respect for how she felt, and for the decision she made based on what she knew at the time she made the decision. This read is a lot like a young mother, who has a baby at 16 or 19 or 26, and then spends far too much time repeating: "... but I wish I would have waited". I don't really care how such a mother felt 4 months or 40 years after she had the baby. I want to know how she felt minutes or hours before conception. Now, specifically, I think this male has been showing enough attention to the original poster to this point, so that we cannot clearly establish that his motives are only for sex. We need time, just like the original poster does. Don't follow your life (story), lead your life!
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