carhill Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Although I suspect the OP will listen to the advice offered by the ladies here, my opinion is based on being a shy guy and knowing how that psychology changes when I feel a connection with someone. I'll opine that the guy probably doesn't date a lot and is happy to go out with a lady who appears interested, even if he's not feeling it. He thinks something might grow on him if exposed long enough. The only way to prove me wrong is to go, but you already know what you're going to do, right?
2sunny Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Although I suspect the OP will listen to the advice offered by the ladies here, my opinion is based on being a shy guy and knowing how that psychology changes when I feel a connection with someone. I'll opine that the guy probably doesn't date a lot and is happy to go out with a lady who appears interested, even if he's not feeling it. He thinks something might grow on him if exposed long enough. The only way to prove me wrong is to go, but you already know what you're going to do, right? we shouldn't assume he's not feeling it - he's making the effort in his intentions to go, yes? a truly shy guy who is uninterested would never go to begin with...
Author dreamergrl Posted November 21, 2009 Author Posted November 21, 2009 Well my friend called me. She has to go over to the bf's house since he's not doing well. (he has some health problems). I, nor them, have heard back from the guy. My friend encouraged me to go regardless. She said she is very sure interest is not the problem. She told me thinks it would be good for me to go. She knows the whole back story. She's my best friend that I can tell anything to. We're very close. However, the guy hasn't gotten back to anyone. Not me or my friends boyfriend. If he wasn't interested, I doubt he would have called last night to tell me he thought it went well and was looking forward to pool tonight. Maybe he's uneasy about the one on one thing? Friends told me hasn't had a girlfriend or a date since last Jan. Me, well I could have had dates. Either something came up (like a snow storm), or I just wasn't feeling up to it. I just completed a very long and stressful work week early this week. I was fighting a cold and what not. It is so strange. I can remember a time when I was dating like crazy and excited by it. I feel pickier now. And not overly excited. I was looking forward to tonight though.
VeveCakes Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 I say go for it you have nothing to lose. If you want to losen the situation up why not get a few drinks, nothing like a little alcohol to open someone up
Author dreamergrl Posted November 21, 2009 Author Posted November 21, 2009 Just an update.. He text me just now. Would still like to go out with me, and said he could pick me up if I'd like.
Author dreamergrl Posted November 21, 2009 Author Posted November 21, 2009 I say go for it you have nothing to lose. If you want to losen the situation up why not get a few drinks, nothing like a little alcohol to open someone up Well I asked him if he still wanted to go to pool and have a few drinks still, and he said "Funny you should ask... I've been wanting to see such and such movie, and maybe get something to eat". Movies don't make for room for conversation, but maybe that's good in this case?
VeveCakes Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Well I asked him if he still wanted to go to pool and have a few drinks still, and he said "Funny you should ask... I've been wanting to see such and such movie, and maybe get something to eat". Movies don't make for room for conversation, but maybe that's good in this case? Awesome. Have fun girlie!
carhill Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 But you already knew that BTW, for 2Sunny, when I was a shy single guy trying to get out of that rut, I would go out with women I didn't feel a connection with just to get out of the rut of the path of least resistance staying home and being anti-social. That's one potential here, gleaned from my 20 years of being single. Many other potentials
Author dreamergrl Posted November 21, 2009 Author Posted November 21, 2009 But you already knew that BTW, for 2Sunny, when I was a shy single guy trying to get out of that rut, I would go out with women I didn't feel a connection with just to get out of the rut of the path of least resistance staying home and being anti-social. That's one potential here, gleaned from my 20 years of being single. Many other potentials So you think he's going out with me to get back into his groove?
2sunny Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 So you think he's going out with me to get back into his groove? there's no way of knowing this unless you ask him... don't make assumptions!
carhill Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 I think we all have reasons for and feelings about what we do, just like you've outlined here in this thread about your thought and emotional processes. I'm trying to give you some honest insight based on my life experience. Now, what movie are you going to see?
Author dreamergrl Posted November 21, 2009 Author Posted November 21, 2009 there's no way of knowing this unless you ask him... don't make assumptions! Either way, it'll be good for me to get out too. I can't put off dating for the rest of my life or I'll be one lonely girl.
Author dreamergrl Posted November 21, 2009 Author Posted November 21, 2009 I think we all have reasons for and feelings about what we do, just like you've outlined here in this thread about your thought and emotional processes. I'm trying to give you some honest insight based on my life experience. Now, what movie are you going to see? I guess Law Abiding Citizen". I'm not really one on movies for first dates. But oh well.
Pink Cupcakes Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Movies are almost always proceded or followed by dinner or drinks time. Anyhoo, you seem like the picky type who's going to bitch no matter what the guy does. Now he did make a suggestion of a movie date, and you're bitching that you don't like a movie date on the first date. So when he brings you flowers, you're going to bitch something like "well, it's too soon in the relationship for him to bring me flowers, and they were red roses, which are too serious" so no matter what the guy does, it will never be right for you, so just give the guy a break. He's probably cautious because he's already sensed you're the picky, high maintenance type who's going to bitch about everything he does and not being just right.
Author dreamergrl Posted November 22, 2009 Author Posted November 22, 2009 Movies are almost always proceded or followed by dinner or drinks time. Anyhoo, you seem like the picky type who's going to bitch no matter what the guy does. Now he did make a suggestion of a movie date, and you're bitching that you don't like a movie date on the first date. So when he brings you flowers, you're going to bitch something like "well, it's too soon in the relationship for him to bring me flowers, and they were red roses, which are too serious" so no matter what the guy does, it will never be right for you, so just give the guy a break. He's probably cautious because he's already sensed you're the picky, high maintenance type who's going to bitch about everything he does and not being just right. Oh wow.. gee PC you almost nailed me Damn me to hell for wanting a setting for conversation so I can get to know the person. Seeing how the plan in the first place was for that. I don't think the people around us at the movies will want to hear us exchange conversation on this and that about ourselves. FYI - like I said, there is a back up story to me, and started to date again. I'm trying to keep it comfortable for me, as well as him. I want to get to know him. I'm far from high maintenance. I'm very easy going. But I'm also cautious due to something that happened several months ago and I'm treading lightly. I've never been considered HM by any past dates, I can assure you. Don't judge people you don't know.
mortensorchid Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 Don't keep us in suspense, how did it go?!?
tkgirl Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 Oh wow.. gee PC you almost nailed me Damn me to hell for wanting a setting for conversation so I can get to know the person. Seeing how the plan in the first place was for that. I don't think the people around us at the movies will want to hear us exchange conversation on this and that about ourselves. FYI - like I said, there is a back up story to me, and started to date again. I'm trying to keep it comfortable for me, as well as him. I want to get to know him. I'm far from high maintenance. I'm very easy going. But I'm also cautious due to something that happened several months ago and I'm treading lightly. I've never been considered HM by any past dates, I can assure you. Don't judge people you don't know. hey girl! I hope you have a great time tonight.. and I want ALL the details later! ...and try not to over-think everything... as us "shy and introverted" types tend to do ...and for God's sake stop being so high maintenance about it! now get yo ass out there and have a great time already!!!
Author dreamergrl Posted November 22, 2009 Author Posted November 22, 2009 I leave in about a half an hour. He's picking me up. I'm feeling kinda fat And not liking my hair (I had a good 6 or 7 inches chopped off)
Pink Cupcakes Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 What part of a movie date is usually preceded or followed by drinks/dinner did you not understand? Did you not understand that you can talk during drinks/dinner time together? Did you not grasp the concept that a movie lasts 2 hours and that there can be a couple hours before and/or after the movie for talking, etc.? LOL
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 I leave in about a half an hour. He's picking me up. I'm feeling kinda fat And not liking my hair (I had a good 6 or 7 inches chopped off) Oh, for God's sake - not even close. Hope you have/had a good time tonight, Dreamer. What part of a movie date is usually preceded or followed by drinks/dinner did you not understand? Did you not understand that you can talk during drinks/dinner time together? Did you not grasp the concept that a movie lasts 2 hours and that there can be a couple hours before and/or after the movie for talking, etc.? LOL Gees, lady - lighten up, would ya? Is it really worth the argument? She doesn't agree with your assessment. Move along. I really don't see a point to your snide/derisive posts.
Author dreamergrl Posted November 22, 2009 Author Posted November 22, 2009 Well we ended up going to Dave and Busters (a mutual idea). It was a lot of fun. The movie he wanted to see wasn't playing so he asked me to go see it some where else another night. I did have a good time.
carhill Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 Cool, glad you had a good time Beats watching Tora, Tora, Tora, with the cat
Author dreamergrl Posted November 23, 2009 Author Posted November 23, 2009 Thanks CarHill. I'm glad I decided to go. He said he'd like to see me again, so I think I'll go out with him again and slowly see how things go.
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