SadandConfusedWA Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 So there is this guy in the mutual group of friends that I *kind* of like. I am not too into him but wouldn't mind exploring the possibilities. Anyway, I decided to text him and ask him to have lunch with me on Thursday next week. He responded that he is busy with soccer practice and sent another message with a funny anecdote. However he didn't offer any alternative times. The way I read this is that he isn't interested, but since he will be seeing me again in the group of mutual friends, he wants to keep things "nice", hence the additional message with the anecdote. Now, I don't care TOO much but it still stings. I responded with no worries, and responded to his anecdote as well with a funny story of my own. (I wanted to show him that there are no hard feelings and that I don't care much about his rejection). Is this good? I felt like giving him a "no response" or "very short response" would seem like I am feeling hurt. But again, I don't want to come across as still interested even after his rejection. I guess my question is: when you ask someone out or to meet you and they offer an excuse with no alternate plans how to best come across like you don't give a f%ck?
jerseyboy Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 You did fine. You have nothing to sweat about. People get silly with this kind of stuff. You're a girl, hes a boy. You werent asking him to help you plan an armored car heist. IM sure hes flattered. It only gets weird when someone becomes so aggressive that you then have to say something to them directly. If it really bugs you that this guy is going to know OMG you liked him, at some point during the next time you get together talk briefly about this gorgeous guy you saw somewhere, then leave it at that. Whatever feelings of "Im a stud this girl likes me" will evaporate in the telling lol
jerseyboy Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 say it to a gf where he can hear btw, not to him. Too obvious
Ariadne Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 I guess my question is: when you ask someone out or to meet you and they offer an excuse with no alternate plans how to best come across like you don't give a f%ck? Well, the best way to see it is that you have planted a seed. He probably didn't expect that, but now he'll be pondering. Not sure he'll act on it and go out, but he'll see you differently now and he'll feel very sexy with you next time.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 The problem with your position on this is that none of it allows for the chance that he will be "busy with soccer practice" on Thursday this week. Sadly, I don't think you quite stuck your neck out far enough, and now you remain completely in the dark as to whether he is interested. Too much of the problem revolves around your "not giving enough of a f*ck". When you're bold enough to lay it all on the line, then at least the signal is clear in the end. I know it's tough to do.
Devil Inside Posted November 22, 2009 Posted November 22, 2009 I think you did fine. However, I think it is confusing that you said you are not all that interested...but are concerned with appearing as if you don't give a F. If you really didn't it would be obvious.
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