Waitress Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Okay, so a female friend and I were having a disagreement and I know the guys here at loveshack will give me the true lowdown... She's going through a breakup. Enter new guy "friend." He's been really good to her and nice and I'm happy to see that for her sake. It's really helped her feel better. And I think he's a genuinely nice guy. BUT, I say he is trying to get on her good side to move in on her when she's feeling better. What do you say? Do guys really help out new female friends this way just to be a good pal down the road??
jerseyboy Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Sure I have But I wouldnt go by me. If Im your "friend" its because in my mind I have already determined I have no interest, not even a potential one, for you as a sexual partner.Because if I did , and was uninvolved, Id be hitting on you most likely. Also I never ever ever date women who just broke up with someone. It is not worth the aggravation of being there helpong her sort out her feelings while your emotionally involved in some masochistic triangle. Conversely most females that are your friend will eventually try to hook up with you. Finally I avoid friendships with women Im attracted to inside of a relationship.
dave22 Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 It does sound a little fishy to me. Of course I've consoled female friends before, but only if I had been friends with them for a while.
DenvyH22 Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 I cannot imagine there would be people that diabolical, so my vote is no
jerseyboy Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 I cannot imagine there would be people that diabolical, so my vote is no As guys pretending to be friends with a girl hoping to get sex? ?????
carhill Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Do guys really help out new female friends this way just to be a good pal down the road?? Does he have other female friends and they all fraternize together? If yes, then yes Does she find him attractive, even if she's not interested in any sort of intimate relationship right now? If not, then, like any good friend, she should be supporting his interpersonal interests and being a good 'wingwoman'. That's a great way to show appreciation for his concern and support during this difficult time. I've only met a few women in my lifetime with that kind of awareness and they've been really valuable friends to have. The rest were just ego feeders in between their 'type' of man. One way street. I hope your friend isn't like that. Being that he is 'new' and is so quickly supportive and empathetic, I'd tend to think he wants to get laid, but could be wrong. Even I didn't become a tampon that quickly and I wrote the book. BTW, how new is 'new'?
DenvyH22 Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 As guys pretending to be friends with a girl hoping to get sex? ????? Guys pretending to be friends and then moving in on her when she's at her lowest point is what I meant you see.
jerseyboy Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Guys pretending to be friends and then moving in on her when she's at her lowest point is what I meant you see. That would be so "unguy" like. Next thing you know someone will accuse guys of plying girls with alcohol to lower their inhibitions, judgement, and get them horny
dreamergrl Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 I cannot imagine there would be people that diabolical, so my vote is no That is rather naive. And that isn't even that 'diabolical'.
Author Waitress Posted November 21, 2009 Author Posted November 21, 2009 I don't think he's hoping to move in on her while she's sad. More than he's interested in her and maybe using this time to bond with her. Nothing really diabolical. They met earlier this year but only started hanging out and being friends in the last few months. Breakup happened right around same time they began confiding in one another.
carhill Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 They met earlier this year but only started hanging out and being friends in the last few months. Breakup happened right around same time they began confiding in one another What's his story? Since girls talk, I know you know
TheLoneSock Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Okay, so a female friend and I were having a disagreement and I know the guys here at loveshack will give me the true lowdown... She's going through a breakup. Enter new guy "friend." He's been really good to her and nice and I'm happy to see that for her sake. It's really helped her feel better. And I think he's a genuinely nice guy. BUT, I say he is trying to get on her good side to move in on her when she's feeling better. What do you say? Do guys really help out new female friends this way just to be a good pal down the road?? It's not that far fetched of an idea. I have gotten more intimate with girls before through comforting them, but that's not to say I was the one pushing the envelope. So for the most part no, I wouldn't use it, especially if she's a friend I consider more sister-ish. If that makes any sense.
DenvyH22 Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 That would be so "unguy" like. Next thing you know someone will accuse guys of plying girls with alcohol to lower their inhibitions, judgement, and get them horny I dont think thats what this topic is about, I think the OP meant when drinking is not involved
A O Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 If you're my friend, then there's no agenda. But all too many guys befriend women for sexual rather than true potential friendship purposes. But that been said, all too many women befriend men for their own ulterior motives also, namely for company and attention in between lean times (when there's no bf or the bf is acting up in some way). .
jerseyboy Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 I dont think thats what this topic is about, I think the OP meant when drinking is not involved Nah hon, I was just teasingly suggesting you were being naive by offering the comparison. Its not only conceivable, its the norm. I wouldnt call it diabolical. It is wimpish, properly construed as such by most women, and why these boards are filled with "how do I get my friend to like me" and "women only like *******s" rants.
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