jaclynxox89 Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 So he is kinda my bf, just not confirmed yet. All we do is flirt, talk, text, make out =] He is 26, i am 20. we work together. One night after work, like a month ago we were making out in my car and i felt him massaging my leg and then going for, well.. you know. he wasnt in my pants or anything... but i had stopped kissing him, because i didnt know what to do. i never was involved with anybody like this before. he is the first. so i guess it was just unexpected and a shock to me. i know he's not a virgin. but im really happy to say he hasnt really went anywhere since then. anyways, he's asked me 2 weeks ago if i was scared of him, and at first i was like, huh? then i said no. then i said i dont know why, after talking about it. So yesterday, we were making out and he goes, "why are you scared of me?" and i just said i didnt think i was. he said sometimes when he like touches me he sees that i am scared of him. but the thing is, he never even touched me, he just brought it up. he's just really affectionate as we kiss. i said i didnt know, it turned into laughing and then i just said i didnt figure myself out yet.... he asked if i was ever alone with a guy before. and i said yes! =( because a few months ago i told him i had a bf before, which i totally lied because i thought i should just say yes because i was 20. i dont know WHY i did though. but here is the thing: i know im not ready to lose my virginity to him. he's not a virgin anymore, so idk. what do i say? and when he goes "why are you scared of me" what do i do? i really like him. he is so sweet and cute.. i know this might sound really childish.. =/ but i can use any help i can get thanks!!
ADF Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 You know what worries me? The part about how he's kind of your BF but it's "not confirmed" yet. Keep something in mind: for many guys, having have a GF is not the ideal situation. Having a FWB is the ideal situation. FWB gets him sex without strings, and many men will choose that over a GF if they can. I say this because you want to be sure you and this guy are on the same page before you start getting physical. If you want some kind of real relationships with him--and it sounds like you do--make sure he knows it. Don't let him maneuver you into becoming his no-strings-attached sex buddy unless that is what you BOTH want.
phineas Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 He wants sex. You lied about not being a virgin. You don't want to give it up to him just yet. This is going to cause a problem eventually if he doesn't learn the truth.
Author jaclynxox89 Posted November 20, 2009 Author Posted November 20, 2009 thanks =] but i never lied to him about being a non virgin. we never even talked about anything like that. i just told him i had a bf before.. stupid move, i know. looking back at it. but yeah, i can see now that he wants sex, thinking about it. =/ how do i say i am not ready? or are we just doomed because a guy cannot live without sex, thinking about it, anything. ah.
phineas Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 ok. when he asked if you were ever alone with a guy before he meant sex. When you replyed you had a boyfriend you were telling him you had done it before. He sensed your nervousness & guessed you were a virgin and asked. so you wern't letting him know what the deal was. If you keep shutting him down without telling him why he will lose interest because he will consider you a tease. That is how I would view it after only a few weeks of non-dateing.
Author jaclynxox89 Posted November 20, 2009 Author Posted November 20, 2009 oh. i see.. soo i really didnt know what exactly i was answering. thanks for your help. thats a bummer! wow now i am confused... lol and yeahh, its been more than a few weeks. its been since august. haha.
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