Ody Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 You really don't sound like you actually want FWB here or that this situation is FWB at all. Not trying to be argumentative. I'm not sure what it is but doesn't sound like FWB. Maybe it just won't be clear until some more time passes?
Author Ruby Slippers Posted December 4, 2009 Author Posted December 4, 2009 You really don't sound like you actually want FWB here or that this situation is FWB at all. Not trying to be argumentative. I'm not sure what it is but doesn't sound like FWB. Maybe it just won't be clear until some more time passes? You're totally right. "FWB" is the closest term I could come up with, but it's obviously more than that. It's like we're somewhat trying on having a relationship, but without the restrictions, obligations, and agreements on commitment. Hell, maybe this is the way to do it. There's this great sense of freedom and lightness to the whole thing. If he were my "boyfriend", I wouldn't be able to help having certain expectations. With the way things are, I don't mind if we don't talk for a day or he doesn't do or say something I'm hoping he'll do and say. We can both just BE. And it's SO HONEST, I love it. Because we're freed from trying to play those boyfriend/girlfriend roles, we don't have to worry that we're going to say the wrong thing. We can just be completely open and honest about everything. The dynamic of him being more into me than I am him seems to be working for both of us, and there are those studies that show this type of dynamic makes both the man and woman happier in the long run. We have plans for Saturday, but he wanted to see me tonight, too. I have dinner plans with a friend coming into town and need to get some stuff done and catch up on sleep, so I said let's wait till Saturday. Like most guys, he is not too bothered by this, whereas if I wanted to see him more than he was able to see me, I might be a girl and get my feelings hurt. It's quite unlike anything I've had before, and I'm finding it very liberating and enjoyable so far. And you're right -- we'll see more as it continues to develop.
Jerseyboy. Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 My sis married the same way. Shes definitely the boss Seems to work for them
Ody Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 I know you left it open, but pragmatically are you likely to be banging anyone else any time soon? Is he? If not, maybe give it a few weeks of not-so-much-analysis and see how you feel. I think things can be over-thunk. I find I have to deliberately avoid doing that sometimes.
northstar1 Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 The whole night, and this morning, he was just lit up like a Christmas tree, and he told me he can't remember being this happy with someone ever, along with many other sweet and sincere comments. It shows. /QUOTE] yeah, this isn't going to end well. is this your neighbour dude?
Author Ruby Slippers Posted December 4, 2009 Author Posted December 4, 2009 I know you left it open, but pragmatically are you likely to be banging anyone else any time soon? Is he? We haven't stated sexual exclusivity outright, but we have both strongly implied it. I am almost certain he is not having sex with anyone else, and I know I'm not. He did say that he's pretty sure if I meet a guy I'm interested in, sex between us will probably stop, and I agreed. If not, maybe give it a few weeks of not-so-much-analysis and see how you feel. Yes! That is the goal here -- experience rather than think. northstar, no. Neighbor was a total mistake. I cut things off with him quite a while ago. I tried to be "just friends" with him, but he could NOT handle it. So now, I just say hi or wave if we pass outside. He calls every few weeks, but I never call him back. If I do, he just tells me he's in love with me and gets mad at me for calling just to talk as a friend.
kizik Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Ruby, you're going to do whatever you want, so why post here? Clearly you don't have much regard for his feelings, only your own needs. Just do as you please and get your kicks.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted December 4, 2009 Author Posted December 4, 2009 (edited) Ruby, you're going to do whatever you want, so why post here? Clearly you don't have much regard for his feelings, only your own needs. Just do as you please and get your kicks. I have a lot of regard for his feelings, and he and I know that. We're getting the same things out of this situation -- fun, great conversation, companionship, a cuddle partner on cold nights, and awesome sex, just to name a few. He has asked me to go with him next weekend on his birthday to get a new tattoo, and I am baking him his favorite cake (I love to bake). Even just the awesome sex alone is what most guys say they really want, right? How is he losing out here? I am going to do what I want, but I appreciate all the opinions that have been offered here -- even the ones critical of my choices. I'm trying to learn and grow as a person and in relationships, and talking about this stuff here is very educational to me. Edited December 4, 2009 by Ruby Slippers
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