radwimps Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 Hey guys, I need a bit of input here, I've had my share of dating experiences in high school, and am now in University. Currently not dating anyone. The problem with me is that *I hate to sound weird but im a bit "attractive"*. No, I'm not drop-dead-gorgeous, just enough to turn a few heads. Most Girls will often flirt/play *games*/hint/ me, and it's quite obvious they have attractions towards me. However, *some* girls would get so nervous around me(Especially if it's a 1 on 1 talk) that they start blushing uncontrollably and start choking on words(You know, those "I better watch what I say because I want to be on his/her good side" kind of thing). And this usually causes awkward silences due to the fact that she chooses her words so carefully that she won't say much. Therefore it most often leads to awkward silences, and especially on a bus to school, it's even worse because she'd sit beside me the whole ride(And I can never say enough words/ask her enough stuff to fill the air). To make things even worse, the girl that I currently like is often like this. I'd really like to ask her out but I really don't know if things are going to work out at all if we can't even keep a 20min conversation going without having to have 5min awkward intervals. Especially if it's on the first few dates, where things are even more awkward. So is there any helpful tips/tricks to keep a conversation going when girls are like this? Ways to make her feel more comfortable, etc? Thanks alot for the help!
Lakeside_runner Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 Maybe if you're on a date with her and she behaves like that don't show that you notice it. I think, if you smile that should make her feel comfortable too. The other thing is, do you think you'll have fun on a date if things go as you decribed?
Author radwimps Posted November 20, 2009 Author Posted November 20, 2009 that's actually a very good point. I do smile a lot in front of people out of general respect. I know her personality a fair bit and I think we can do quite good if I can get her to feel a little less nervous in front of me. I'd really like to have a female perspective, I think that might help a lot, ladies?
boogieboy Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 Heres the deal, long as you dont say anything to turn them off, they dont care what you say. If she isnt helping you out, you cant carry on a conversation by yourself, so dont worry about it. Dont feel uncomfortable by awkward silences. Let them happen. Dont feel like you need to keep conversation going if she isnt doing her fair share. What you do is act like you dont need to talk to her, this will at least frame her mind that she will need to talk to keep YOUR attention at some point. If she knows youre gonna keep trying for her, she wont try. Remember, you already have them eating out of your hand, she needs to impress YOU now.
Author radwimps Posted November 20, 2009 Author Posted November 20, 2009 Heres the deal, long as you dont say anything to turn them off, they dont care what you say. If she isnt helping you out, you cant carry on a conversation by yourself, so dont worry about it. Dont feel uncomfortable by awkward silences. Let them happen. Dont feel like you need to keep conversation going if she isnt doing her fair share. What you do is act like you dont need to talk to her, this will at least frame her mind that she will need to talk to keep YOUR attention at some point. If she knows youre gonna keep trying for her, she wont try. Remember, you already have them eating out of your hand, she needs to impress YOU now. That sounds like a very sound advice, wow why didn't I think of that haha. I'll try that out on my next occasion. Thanks!
Yukikazi Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 If this is a major fear.. take her to play whirly ball or bowling or something where you can still talk but can get some competition going. Chicks love a challenge.. so go bowling.. you can compete, have something to constantly talk about and while she is bowling.. you can both think up stuff to say next.
boogieboy Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 If this is a major fear.. take her to play whirly ball or bowling or something where you can still talk but can get some competition going. Chicks love a challenge.. so go bowling.. you can compete, have something to constantly talk about and while she is bowling.. you can both think up stuff to say next. I forgot all about this, this is great! Taking her somewhere fun and competitive should pull her out of ehr shell and make her talk more.
jerseyboy Posted November 21, 2009 Posted November 21, 2009 Just talk to them as you would most guy friends and youre generaly fine. The idea being not to machine gun questions, but just bs about stuff. Picking topis she has to know a lot about, like friends ,family etc make it easier on her
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