Ruby Slippers Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 And Ruby, YES we need to relax and have fun!! It feels great to just chill with someone and laugh a lot. Doesn't it?! Makes you feel all girly again.
EarthGirl Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 OMG, Ruby and Sedgewick, you are women after my own heart. Oh yeah the goofy shy, but hot sidekicks, that is totally MY thing, in fact I think you utterly stole it, I should really be offended if I wasn't so tickled that i have found my sister soulmates apparently. One word...Spinelli. Or do you remember that show from the late 90's (>)..Relativity...Adam Goldberg as "Doug" and the show was about his best friend (brother?) who he was roommates with (same guy that plays Jennifer L Hewitts husband on Ghost Whisperer)...and the show centered around Kimberly Williams and him but truly the most romantic couple by FAR was "Doug" (Adam G.) and Kimberly William's character's (don't remember the character name) sister and Doug. They had an affair but she was in a loveless marriage and it was true love and all very sensual and dramatic. Tell me you know who Spinelli is without looking it up and you can be my best friend forever.
shadowplay Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 I feel like there's something fishy about this as well. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, Sedge. I just don't get the sense he's that interested for some reason. It seems like he would have kissed you if he were given that you guys were being so touchy feely. Maybe I'm totally talking out of my ass, but it's a hunch. His behavior reminds me a bit of that guy C that lovelace was always talking about.
EarthGirl Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 OMG, Ruby and Sedgewick, you are women after my own heart. Oh yeah the goofy shy, but hot sidekicks, that is totally MY thing, in fact I think you utterly stole it, I should really be offended if I wasn't so tickled that i have found my sister soulmates apparently. One word...Spinelli. Or do you remember that show from the late 90's (>)..Relativity...Adam Goldberg as "Doug" and the show was about his best friend (brother?) who he was roommates with (same guy that plays Jennifer L Hewitts husband on Ghost Whisperer)...and the show centered around Kimberly Williams and him but truly the most romantic couple by FAR was "Doug" (Adam G.) and Kimberly William's character's (don't remember the character name) sister and Doug. They had an affair but she was in a loveless marriage and it was true love and all very sensual and dramatic. Tell me you know who Spinelli is without looking it up and you can be my best friend forever. oh yeah and Dirty Dancing....Johnny's cousin..with the watermelons, damn...And Frank Sinatra as Nathan Detroit in Guys and Dolls, but I would not really consider him a sidekick in that movie, it's more like a partnership of leading men with him and Brando as Sky, although Nathan's leading lady Adelaide isn't as fleshed out a character as the other one...but yeah I don't think that one really counts cause he was such a funny character and of course sang a lot, cause hello, Frank Sinatra...But anyway, don't worry though BoldJack it's not some psychological freudian thing with the sidekicks...that's not what it's about.
shadowplay Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 I just want to reiterate that I'm not trying to make you feel bad because I've been in your shoes...I"d just hate to see you crash if it turned out he only wanted to be friends. I'm almost cringing anticipating it now. Pull back emotionally.
boogieboy Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 (edited) Thanks! I'm inclined to think so too. I want things to move slowly, want to just get to know each other first, and I hope he does too. To all the guys reading this who may be thinking the only way to show a girl you're interested is to overtly put the moves on her from the outset, PLEASE don't think that! If he'd already tried something I wouldn't trust him, and I wouldn't be interested. It would skeeve me out, actually. And hey, guys? I know this may come as a shock, but just as there are shy dorky bellydancers, there are shy dorky musicians. Not everyone with a drum is a rockstar. He's kind of gangly and goofy, which I think is hot as hell but which isn't exactly a mainstream turn-on. I knew that you were going to take what I said and twist it to fit your fantasy. Youre already too far gone now. Edited November 17, 2009 by boogieboy
Author sedgwick Posted November 17, 2009 Author Posted November 17, 2009 (edited) Ruby and Sedgewick, you are women after my own heart. Oh yeah the goofy shy, but hot sidekicks, that is totally MY thing, in fact I think you utterly stole it, I should really be offended if I wasn't so tickled that i have found my sister soulmates apparently. HELL YEAH!! Ha! I do not know this Spinelli you speak of, but here's a perfect clue to the kind of guys I like: did you ever see that '80s movie Young Sherlock Holmes? Nicholas Rowe was my toooootal high school crush! Yes, while all the other girls liked Duran Duran, I was crushing on Holmes. The worst part? My brother bought me that movie for xmas last year and I STILL thought he was hot! (Holmes, not my brother.) I just want to reiterate that I'm not trying to make you feel bad because I've been in your shoes...I"d just hate to see you crash if it turned out he only wanted to be friends. I'm almost cringing anticipating it now. Pull back emotionally. Why? Why shouldn't I be joyous to have a new friend and butterflies in my stomach again, even if nothing comes of it? Why shouldn't I take pride in my confidence that I WON'T "crash," because I'll never let myself lose myself in another person again after the huge learning experience of my last relationship? Why shouldn't I simply be happy to have laughed, danced, and made music today, and to have had someone fun and interesting to do those things with? Why, instead of pulling back emotionally, should I not open my heart to the world and all its possibilities? What reason is there for continuing to choose sadness over happiness, and in what way does that serve any of us as human beings? Your doom and gloom has been noted, several times over. You can rest assured that you have made sufficient effort to burst my bubble and let me know how tragic everything's going to be. Now, I hope you'll stop "cringing" for me (because I daresay there are better things to do with one's time than anticipate the unhappiness of strangers on the internet) and go out and do something that makes you feel joyous. I highly recommend dancing! Edited November 17, 2009 by sedgwick
boogieboy Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 (edited) Why? Why shouldn't I be joyous to have a new friend and butterflies in my stomach again, even if nothing comes of it? Why shouldn't I take pride in my confidence that I WON'T "crash," because I'll never let myself lose myself in another person again after the huge learning experience of my last relationship? Why shouldn't I simply be happy to have laughed, danced, and made music today, and to have had someone fun and interesting to do those things with? Why, instead of pulling back emotionally, should I not open my heart to the world and all its possibilities? What reason is there for continuing to choose sadness over happiness, and in what way does that serve any of us as human beings? Why? Because youre posting that you hope something comes of it, and you are banking on it. You have blown up bubbles over it when you shouldnt have. Youre posting about it here. There are better things to do than post about it here-dae I say.. See with you its either one extreme or the other. Its either extreme happiness or extreme sadness, not everyone takes everything to heart with a sledgehammer like you do. If you truly say you arent worried about whether or not this guys likes you, and youre fine with the possibility of him telling you that he only likes you as a friend, then theres no reason for you to think anyone is pulling you down, because you got it all worked out and its reality. But you keep changing your story-first youre saying your getting butterflies hoping he likes you, now all of a sudden you arent worried about if he likes you? Admit it, youve been hoping for guys to like you for a while now, and you already fell for this guy, and if he turns you down, youre going to be hurt. We were just saying to take it easy so that you DONT get hurt. But if you wanna go ALL in, without making sure he feels the same way first.. Like I said..you'll be back here posting about it. Edited November 17, 2009 by boogieboy
Author sedgwick Posted November 17, 2009 Author Posted November 17, 2009 No kidding. The guy with the best chemistry I ever dated - we hardly even touched at all on our first date. It was not overtly romantic, we are both introverts. Most touching was when I laughed at something he said and shoved his shoulder lightly and then a half-hug at the end of the date. It was a 6-hour date, we talked a TON. Got together the very next day, so I think it's safe to say he was interested. That's so cool! What happened with him? I know a couple who didn't even kiss for the first three months they knew each other, because they had both had bad relationships and were where I am right now -- enjoying connecting with someone but reticent about getting involved. They're now married and just had their first kid. Taking it slow is awesome and I'm very happy to have attained the ability to do so, and to see a gray area between "OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM" and "OH MY GOD I HATE HIM." It feels like major progress, and reminds me that going into things with no expectations and simply enjoying each other's company is really nice.
shadowplay Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 (edited) Sedgwick -- you're too defensive, which makes me suspect my intuition is right about you already getting emotionally invested. For the record, I'm NOT trying to burst your bubble. I just don't want to see you get hurt after the hell you've been through in the last 2.5 years. I think it's great that you're finally getting over your ex and opening yourself up to new possibilities. I just want you to be careful and not expect anything from this particular guy. Edited November 17, 2009 by shadowplay
Author sedgwick Posted November 17, 2009 Author Posted November 17, 2009 Sedgwick -- you're too defensive, which makes me suspect my intuition is right about you already getting emotionally invested. Noted, for the fifth time. Thank you for your concern!
shadowplay Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 Noted, for the fifth time. Thank you for your concern! Don't be obnoxious. Just because someone says what you don't want to hear doesn't mean they're trying to make you feel bad. I've noticed this defensive trend in your threads. Instead be happy that strangers are willing to be give you thoughtful, honest advice, even if it's not always what you want to hear! I think everyone here is happy to see you in better spirits.
Rudderless Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 I dont believe he's flirting with you. If he was alone with you (again) and you were flirting with him, practically throwing yourself at him and he didnt make a move (as a grown man should) he isnt interested and you shouldnt get your hopes up. He's just being extra friendly. Im sure youre really fun to hang with. He might just be shy, or unsure, or whatever. Either way your overconfidence in reading this situation is bizarre, especially when it comes to... He's a drummer, he knows how to seduce women, and hes not really seducing you. All drummers know how to seduce women do they? Guess you've never been in a band then, maybe you've never even been to a gig? I don't know, but I think your inclination to comment on something based on a total lack of experience is shining through like a very bright beacon.
boogieboy Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 He might just be shy, or unsure, or whatever. Either way your overconfidence in reading this situation is bizarre, especially when it comes to... All drummers know how to seduce women do they? Guess you've never been in a band then, maybe you've never even been to a gig? I don't know, but I think your inclination to comment on something based on a total lack of experience is shining through like a very bright beacon. Its not overconfidence, its people I actually know. Maybe youre a drummer that doesnt know how to seduce women. How do you know I lack experience in dealing with drummers? I dont know why youre assuming all this. All the ones Ive witnessed seducing women were pretty successful. Thats pretty ignorant of you to assume that when you dont know me.
Rudderless Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 How do you know I lack experience in dealing with drummers? I dont know why youre assuming all this. All the ones Ive witnessed seducing women were pretty successful. Thats pretty ignorant of you to assume that when you dont know me. Oh, be serious, you just claimed being a drummer makes you a lady killer. You're not really going to try to defend what you're saying are you? I knew that you were going to take what I said and twist it to fit your fantasy How ironic.
boogieboy Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 Oh, be serious, you just claimed being a drummer makes you a lady killer. You're not really going to try to defend what you're saying are you? How ironic. I meant what I said. You seemed to miss my earlier post where I stated that he could be actually taking her seriously and taking it slow with her. But the drummers I know are ladykillers. Rest of the band members are too. So what?
Rudderless Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 I meant what I said. You seemed to miss my earlier post where I stated that he could be actually taking her seriously and taking it slow with her. But the drummers I know are ladykillers. So what? It doesn't really matter if your best friend is Keith Moon, you can't seriously claim that this guy she wrote about is a ladykiller because he's a drummer, and then use that to back up why you believe he's not interested. I can't believe you're even trying to defend it in some way. Why don't you stop being so defensive and just face the fact that it's a load of baloney. I noticed your edit so to respond.. even if I was a sexually frustrated drummer which I'm not, it would only make your comment even more incorrect
boogieboy Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 It doesn't really matter if your best friend is Keith Moon, you can't seriously claim that this guy she wrote about is a ladykiller because he's a drummer, and then use that to back up why you believe he's not interested. I can't believe you're even trying to defend it in some way. Why don't you stop being so defensive and just face the fact that it's a load of baloney. I noticed your edit so to respond.. even if I was a sexually frustrated drummer which I'm not, it would only make your comment even more incorrect Wow now youre telling me what I edited out of my post? Aight, Im not going to type what im thinking now...go ahead and tell me.
Rudderless Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 Wow now youre telling me what I edited out of my post? Aight, Im not going to type what im thinking now...go ahead and tell me. Nah, I responded to your comment before you edited in the bit about me possibly being a sexually frustrated drummer. That's why that bit isn't quoted, or responded to
boogieboy Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 (edited) Nah, I responded to your comment before you edited in the bit about me possibly being a sexually frustrated drummer. That's why that bit isn't quoted, or responded to My edit is clearly seen and you quoted it. But, that awful guess is very telling about you Edited November 17, 2009 by boogieboy
Rudderless Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 My edit is clearly seen and you quoted it. But, that awful guess that shows me how you think dont it? Er no, I didn't quote your quick edit in post 39 when responding in post 40. Here is the bit I didn't quote or respond to. Its not overconfidence, its people I actually know. Maybe youre a drummer that doesnt know how to seduce women. Are we clear now?
boogieboy Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 Er no, I didn't quote your quick edit in post 39 when responding in post 40. Here is the bit I didn't quote or respond to. Are we clear now? Aight, now what? The guy is treating her like a buddy, and hes a drummer. So what?
Rudderless Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 Aight, now what? The guy is treating her like a buddy, and hes a drummer. So what? I made my opinion clear
boogieboy Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 (edited) I made my opinion clear So did I, did you have fun nitpicking? Thought so. Edited November 17, 2009 by boogieboy
Ruby Slippers Posted November 17, 2009 Posted November 17, 2009 I love how this thread has turned into a duel between the optimists and pessimists. WHO WILL WIN?
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