Le's talk about sex

[dianna]

I've been with my ex for 2 and a half years ( he was my first, and my first love ).He ended the relationship in July ,said he need to find himself ( if you want to know more about the details please read my threads).We study in the same class so it's a bit hard for me to see him everyday,.He's not shiny and happy and he fakes it big time. He still checks on my blog ( 7 times a day ) , watches me ..etc etc..he is the lurker type. I still care about him deeply ..but I was a mess when I found out that he was with someone a month after we broke up ( he said he needs to be alone years from now on bla bla..a loads of crap ). So I decided ..even though I still care and I know he still cares...to go in the dating scene. And I've met someone ..and we get along pretty well but I can't have sex with him because

1.Im afraid my ex will find out and he will never go back with me again ( and I know that there is 90% percent of chance that he won't reconcile with me even if i don't have sex with this new guy )

2.this guys knows a lot of people from his circle and my circle and im afradi im going to be mega exposed if i sleep with him..im a bit paranoic that everybody will find out i slept with him

3.we are not into a relationship..basically its going to be just sex and the usual cuddle..dating ..but that's about it because of me ( i dont want another relationship_

4.i compare him with my ex and im afraid the sex will be bad ( my ex and i had mind blowing sex )

 

I know its kind of foolish..I know the problem is that Im not over my ex but I need to do something radical to be over him..Im sick of this situation..my hormons are on the rooftop ...this new guy understands the situation..he is patient ( i let him give me oral sex and it was waaaaaaay better than my ex ) but im ..i dunno..it seems like im afraid to have sex..even though I want it..badly

 

I feel such a freak..any imput on this? ( I am 22 )

 

What do you think ?

Edited November 15, 2009 by dianna

[Boundary Problem]

assume people will find out you had sex.

 

Then re-think your objectives.

 

Thinking it will stay a secret is a fantasy. Get real.

[boogieboy]

If your ex ever wanted to get back with you it would be for sex only. Then you'd be wasting your time.

 

That being said, if your ex found out that you had sex with this new guy, he would want you more from jealousy. Ponder THAT one.