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This is hard, no?


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Posted

I find relationships elusive. It's been about two years since my last relationship and I haven't seem to be able to find someone to date. My friends say I don't fall in like with many guys as easy as they do, not so much because I'm fussy or have high standards. I just don't. Or maybe guys don't always ask me out because I give off independence vibes or vibes that scare them off.

 

I usually ace on dates but before I ace them, I need to get asked out. I try to be friendly with guys I meet but at the end of the day, it seems they just end up seeing me as friends.

 

I hate it when my friends keep bugging me about finding someone while other friends seem to find men at every corner of the street.

 

Now I'm trying to get over a guy I know I can't get because he's taken. Can life get any worse?

 

Is it me or anyone out there share these experiences?

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Posted

Anyone? Any insights?

Posted

It's not just you, it definitely is hard. It's been a year and a half since my last relationship, and I am hesitant to even count that because of the issues that were involved.

 

I have a lot of the same problems as you, and we're not the only ones. Alot of my friends seem to be meeting guys left and right, but I am absolutely shocked when I see some of them, who are beautiful, smart, and fun, never get asked out. I know it's hard not to think you might be doing something wrong - I think it all the time - but I really do believe that a confident, pretty, smart, fun, independent woman is really intimidating to some guys...

 

I wish I had better advice for you, but all I can tell you is you're not alone and it's not you!

  • Author
Posted
It's not just you, it definitely is hard. It's been a year and a half since my last relationship, and I am hesitant to even count that because of the issues that were involved.

 

I have a lot of the same problems as you, and we're not the only ones. Alot of my friends seem to be meeting guys left and right, but I am absolutely shocked when I see some of them, who are beautiful, smart, and fun, never get asked out. I know it's hard not to think you might be doing something wrong - I think it all the time - but I really do believe that a confident, pretty, smart, fun, independent woman is really intimidating to some guys...

 

I wish I had better advice for you, but all I can tell you is you're not alone and it's not you!

 

 

Thanks. It helps. It's probably not that bad if I didn't have friends bombarding me with questions about whether I'm seeing someone. It's called peer pressure. On top of wanting someone to share my life with.

 

I hope you find whatever you're looking for too. :)

Posted
but I really do believe that a confident, pretty, smart, fun, independent woman is really intimidating to some guys...

 

Try asking out the next confident, handsome, smart, fun and independent man that catches your eye and you'll get an idea just how hard it can (emphasis on 'can') be.

Posted

Haha, my previous thread is about how I usually can't bring myself to make the first move because I'm way too nervous!!!

 

I just mean that a confident, smart, fun, and attractive girl can be intimidating to some guys, JUST AS a confident, smart, fun, and attractive guy can be intimidating to some girls (including myself).

Posted

If you know someone well enough to have determined they actually have those traits, that alone makes asking more difficult, simply due to the fact that by the time you know them well enough for that, their answer to a date request would actually matter to you.

 

It's easy to ask someone out who's response won't stay on your mind for more than 10 minutes. :p

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