BobSacamento Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 About what? If my GF was only attracted to me because of my personality.
mbeewood Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Anyone? I mean if you have some minimal standards for attractiveness but you'd still date a girl who was just average and had a personality you really liked? I don't care how tall the opposite sex is because it's completely irrelevant to anything. That's more than most girls can say.
Vertex Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 (edited) Absolutely -- I favor a woman's personality/mind twentyfold over their looks. Edited November 15, 2009 by Vertex
crazy_grl Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 (edited) If he said something like "Of course I'm attracted to you, but looks aren't important to me," that would be a perfect answer. That would be a horrible answer! It sounds like PC for "Well I'm attracted to you, but I don't think you're very good looking." "Looks aren't important to me" is just BS anyway. Nobody is going to date somebody they're not attracted to unless they're completely lacking in self worth and figure no one they're attracted to would ever date them. Yes, if someone has a personality you like, you can become attracted to them when you weren't at first by their looks alone. But, from my own experience (though I'm a girl, but I think it would be the same for guys), they actually look better to you. You don't just decide "well, looks don't matter, I can lower my standards if s/he's funny enough." (again, unless you have low self worth) If someone doesn't think you look good, even if they like your personality, they're not going to feel attracted and not going to date you. If a someone is dating you, chances are they like how you look. shadowplay, you might think you're just average, but some man might think you look amazing, whether it's your eyes, your nose, or whatever. People are not only attracted to super models or people who rank high on some subjective numeric scale. Edited November 15, 2009 by crazy_grl
ADF Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Anyone? I mean if you have some minimal standards for attractiveness but you'd still date a girl who was just average and had a personality you really liked? What I've learned in my life is that beauty is overrated. Frankly, what someone looks like isn't even much of a clue as to how much fun it is to have sex with them. I think a lot of guys--especially younger guys--miss out on getting together with some great women because they are too worried about getting the date their friends will envy.
SadandConfusedWA Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 However, I'm pretty darn unattractive physically, so I have to expect that. I just have to hope that if a guy ends up with me that I would be beautiful at least in his eyes. Don't be silly Cora, I have seen your pic before and you are gorgeous. You are not seeing yourself realistically.
627 Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I think that for both men and women, looks is what brings them in and personnality is what keeps them and it is almost impossible to tell a girl you are not physicaly attrated to her without offending her I don't agree with you. One person can look at someone and think they are attractive, someone else can look at someone and think they're totally not! I don't think human beings, by nature, judge the things that have an affect on them objectively. They only judge things on what pushes their buttons. What you're describing is warming up to someone who doesn't push your buttons initially, which is nothing to do with whether they're average looking or not. objectivity exists, there is a variation in opinions yes, like I find this girl irresistible while someone else finds her very beautiful, but not to the irresistible point however what is not good looking is not good looking and it's an iternationnal opinion seriously, who would for example find a big nose to be attractive, or messed up teeth or whatever who does not find jennifer aniston to be cute, and who finds condoleezza rice to be attractive? I don't fully agree with the saying that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, opinions differ slightly but the definitioof real beauty is constant I might say golf is better than kia, slight difference of opinion from certain other people maybe, but you will never find someone saying golf is better than ferrari
crazy_grl Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 (edited) seriously, who would for example find a big nose to be attractive Have you seen John Oliver? He's sexy, big nose and all. Part of that might be the accent though. I also saw a guy in a community theater play that had a pretty big nose, but there was something about him that made him hot to me. Though I doubt most girls would have agreed with me. Just because a person has a feature that's generally considered unattractive doesn't mean they're an unattractive person to everyone. who finds condoleezza rice to be attractive? I bet there's a few people who do. Edited November 15, 2009 by crazy_grl
Rudderless Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 objectivity exists, there is a variation in opinions yes, like I find this girl irresistible while someone else finds her very beautiful, but not to the irresistible point however what is not good looking is not good looking and it's an iternationnal opinion seriously, who would for example find a big nose to be attractive, or messed up teeth or whatever who does not find jennifer aniston to be cute, and who finds condoleezza rice to be attractive? Primarily North American opinion, not international at all, and even then I'm not so sure. It's a fallacious argument from authority to suggest there's some kind of worldwide agreement as to what constitutes attractive. It also suggests not much knowledge of other cultures. I need to stop reading this site because I often think the opinions encourage a misanthropic nature in me.
627 Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Primarily North American opinion, not international at all, and even then I'm not so sure. It's a fallacious argument from authority to suggest there's some kind of worldwide agreement as to what constitutes attractive. It also suggests not much knowledge of other cultures. I need to stop reading this site because I often think the opinions encourage a misanthropic nature in me. but I'm a middle eastern and I asked around why is hair transplant for example a successful industry in many nations? botox, nose jobs etc... there is a model for beauty, this is beautiful that is not. majority of women(or men) fight over a minority of people from he opposite sex that are attractive, while all the rest complain about being single, it's happening
betamanlet Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Anyone? I mean if you have some minimal standards for attractiveness but you'd still date a girl who was just average and had a personality you really liked? ever looked at women's magazines in the checkout aisle? those aren't shallow or superficial?
Rudderless Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 (edited) but I'm a middle eastern and I asked around why is hair transplant for example a successful industry in many nations? botox, nose jobs etc... there is a model for beauty, this is beautiful that is not. majority of women(or men) fight over a minority of people from he opposite sex that are attractive, while all the rest complain about being single, it's happening I see, so we live in a world where it's either go under the knife or forever be doomed to be single. Interesting concept, hmmm.. well I've never needed to go under the knife or fight to find an attractive partner, so I guess I must be one of the minority that's attractive. Now that you've shown me the light I'll have to go out tonight and get some women to bash each other over their heads with their handbags so that the lucky winner can have me as a prize Edited November 15, 2009 by Rudderless
627 Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 (edited) I'd date an average looking girl with a great personnality or even an average personnality if that is available. personnality is what is actualy hard to find these days, if only girls spend as much time reading a book or a newspaper as much as they spent on their toenails alone (no offense, I know alot of exceptions exist, just hard to find) there is more in life than the latest brad pit movie and the girl at work that wants to destroy you I've heard that sentence somewhere and I find it to be accurate, it said somethign like, think of looks as a way to filter the shallow people from the intelligent ones, those who did not like you for your looks are the ones that you don't want to be with anyway I see, so we live in a world where it's either go under the knife or forever be doomed to be single. Interesting concept, hmmm.. well I've never needed to go under the knife or fight to find an attractive partner, so I guess I must be one of the minority that's attractive. Now that you've shown me the light I'll have to go out tonight and get some women to bash each other over their heads with their handbags so that the lucky winner can have me as a prize I never said average does not exist if you are average some will like you and others will not, that is the slight variation if you are bad looking you are likely to be doomed to be single, and yes it is happening I know people who are rarely single, they break up only to get back in another relationship 2 weeks later. and others who spend years single, finaly find someone, then go back to being single again for a long time so yes that is my explanation to these observations, objectivity in taste exists Edited November 15, 2009 by 627
Taramere Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Primarily North American opinion, not international at all, and even then I'm not so sure. It's a fallacious argument from authority to suggest there's some kind of worldwide agreement as to what constitutes attractive. It also suggests not much knowledge of other cultures. I need to stop reading this site because I often think the opinions encourage a misanthropic nature in me. I can relate. From what I understand of American notions of beauty, they seem to be strongly influenced by porn rather than an underlying appreciation of beauty for its own sake. There should be a fairly pair of silicon breasts, and an overall glossy, plastic sheen about the body. The face must be pretty in either a slightly bitchy or a child-like way - but not interesting, striking or soulful enough to distract the viewer's attention away from the body, or provoke an emotional response. That concept of "beauty" cheapens the word, but I think there is a strong tendency, in the US, to either disparage other cultures' notions of beauty - or recreate them in a blander "improved" form. Looking only at the technicalities of "what do I consider makes that beautiful, and how can I mimic it - and use my technical knowledge to even improve upon it?" A kind of karaoke singer's approach towards beauty.
Rudderless Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Tara, as usual, you hit the nail on the head in a more eloquent fashion than I can muster.
b52s Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Anyone? I mean if you have some minimal standards for attractiveness but you'd still date a girl who was just average and had a personality you really liked? Yepper....it doesn't take much for me to be physically attracted, as long as they're relatively of decent weight and proportion.
refurb Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Well, aren't there guys who initially think a girl is average looking, fall in love with her and then warm up to her appearance? I don't know...that's why I ask. YES. I've met a few girls who i thought were "cute" or just average (not unattractive, just not so good looking that you think "wow!"). After getting to know a couple of them, they went from average to hot because of their personalities. RF
sumdude Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 (edited) We all have to be attracted to someone for a relationship to work out. That said I have a pretty wide range of who I find attractive. There's no real criteria, either you're attractive to me of not. If not no amount of personality will get you out of my friend zone. This is the way most people are. I get a little tired of this "well americans are are effed up when it comes to looks".. that's a load of BS. I've traveled abroad a bit and everywhere I've been in Europe or Asia there are magazines, TV shows, billboards etc etc with the most attractive people on them. Everyone buys things, dresses up to look more attractive all over the world so enough of that. Shadow, you're probably more attractive than you give yourself credit for. Posting here is sure to bring the bitter boys out from under their rocks to throw their negativity at you. A lot of people go through dry spells when it seems like no one is interested. Then we get down on ourselves and develop negative attitudes.. which are unattractive. It's a Catch 22, relax and find ways to be happy. The happier you are the more attractive you'll be. Do some things for yourself to build your self image back up. Go get a makeover, buy some clothes that accentuate your best qualities. Get someone objective to help you pick stuff out. Edited November 15, 2009 by sumdude
385 Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 "Of course I'm attracted to you, but looks aren't important to me," that would be a perfect answer. That basically translates to the whoever the guy is talking about is not good looking. 'I'm attracted to you, but don't worry, your looks aren't what I'm attracted too.' To answer your question though, I can't raise my hand. While personality can increase your attractiveness, you still got to have some looks to go with it.
BobSacamento Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 That basically translates to the whoever the guy is talking about is not good looking. 'I'm attracted to you, but don't worry, your looks aren't what I'm attracted too.' To answer your question though, I can't raise my hand. While personality can increase your attractiveness, you still got to have some looks to go with it. Indeed. It is a perfect answer but probably on the guys part. It gives him at least the opportunity to be honest and dodge a bullet if they aren't too swift.
Devil Inside Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Why wouldn't you want someone attracted to the whole package....looks and personality?
Author shadowplay Posted November 15, 2009 Author Posted November 15, 2009 (edited) I can relate. From what I understand of American notions of beauty, they seem to be strongly influenced by porn rather than an underlying appreciation of beauty for its own sake. There should be a fairly pair of silicon breasts, and an overall glossy, plastic sheen about the body. The face must be pretty in either a slightly bitchy or a child-like way - but not interesting, striking or soulful enough to distract the viewer's attention away from the body, or provoke an emotional response. That concept of "beauty" cheapens the word, but I think there is a strong tendency, in the US, to either disparage other cultures' notions of beauty - or recreate them in a blander "improved" form. Looking only at the technicalities of "what do I consider makes that beautiful, and how can I mimic it - and use my technical knowledge to even improve upon it?" A kind of karaoke singer's approach towards beauty. You hit the nail on the head with the bolded part. But I would qualify it by saying this is how a lot of American men perceive beauty. Women seem to appreciate a wider range of facial types. If you look at fashion models (who are largely selected by gay men and women) they tend to be more striking and interesting looking than porn stars. In my beauty obsessed days I started a blog. The first entry gets into the fashion industry's interest in unconventional beauty: http://prettyist.blogspot.com/ I was a lot more judgmental about beauty at the time than I am now, but I think the first entry makes some interesting points. Edited November 15, 2009 by shadowplay
Author shadowplay Posted November 15, 2009 Author Posted November 15, 2009 I truly believe that guys are mostly influenced by each other and society's standards in what they find attractive. The fact that beauty ideals change so dramatically from culture to culture suggests that an average individual's perception of beauty is mostly culturally defined -- not innate. (Of course the cultural differences are fading somewhat as Western culture becomes more widespread.) For men it's so often about competition or landing a prize that they think they "deserve" because society tells them that they do.
BobSacamento Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Some of this stuff is ridiculous. You don't think women try to compete to land a prize? Can you honestly believe what you are typing?
the beholder Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 You hit the nail on the head with the bolded part. But I would qualify it by saying this is how a lot of American men perceive beauty. Women seem to appreciate a wider range of facial types. If you look at fashion models (who are largely selected by gay men and women) they tend to be more striking and interesting looking than porn stars. In my beauty obsessed days I started a blog. The first entry gets into the fashion industry's interest in unconventional beauty: http://prettyist.blogspot.com/ I was a lot more judgmental about beauty at the time than I am now, but I think the first entry makes some interesting points. I adore Sasha Pivovarova! I always knew you had a good taste... so I assume you are good-looking. I personally think we could reach the answers you are looking for if you'd post your pics. pls do so if possible. As long as thats not done you will never be convinced no matter how many guys would post here. Getting back to the thread - I raise my hand!
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