betamanlet Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Talk to a mental health professional first. Every hear of hypochondria? Your attitude is a mental wall. You need to tear it down, kick it over - rip it to shreds!! Once that's done you need coaching. No one can do things alone. You need someone who can get you thinking the way you need to be thinking to be successful!!! Honestly, say he sees a shrink, and works on his issues. How many women do you think are going to give a 38 year old virgin a chance? .5%? That's presuming an instant fix. Therapy takes years. Say he's 40 or 41. when he's "normal". DO you really think any woman would give him a shot given he's had no seal of approval from other women? FACT: Women desire men that other women desire. No women have desired him. They WILL hold it against him.
boogieboy Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Talk to a mental health professional first. Every hear of hypochondria? Your attitude is a mental wall. You need to tear it down, kick it over - rip it to shreds!! Once that's done you need coaching. No one can do things alone. You need someone who can get you thinking the way you need to be thinking to be successful!!! Hes not going to get help. Hes a professor, if he really wanted to fix his issues, he would have done it already. He just wants pity.
betamanlet Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Hes not going to get help. Hes a professor, if he really wanted to fix his issues, he would have done it already. He just wants pity. Yes, pity on an anonymous message board.... At least he's not subjecting his family to hell just to get attention to be on a TV show. He doesn't have 14 kids with the hopes of getting a reality TV show and a book deal.
Author virgin Posted November 14, 2009 Author Posted November 14, 2009 Hes not going to get help. Hes a professor, if he really wanted to fix his issues, he would have done it already. He just wants pity. Two psychiatrists (plus others) told me there is probably nothing that can be done at this point. One suggested experimental Electroshock therapy(I s#$% you not). Another thought I should accept what I have and get disability (SDI).
boogieboy Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Making fun of people who are struggling says a lot more about you than them. Its an anonymous message board, who cares?
boogieboy Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Honestly, say he sees a shrink, and works on his issues. How many women do you think are going to give a 38 year old virgin a chance? .5%? That's presuming an instant fix. Therapy takes years. Say he's 40 or 41. when he's "normal". DO you really think any woman would give him a shot given he's had no seal of approval from other women? FACT: Women desire men that other women desire. No women have desired him. They WILL hold it against him. I truly think at least half of the reason is because hes clueless as how to talk to women. If he did hiws research, the knowledge alone would help him get past half his issues...then once he starts trying it and seeing success, he'll be in the clear. People have worked though those illnesses, he can to if he really wanted to. At least he's not subjecting his family to hell just to get attention to be on a TV show. He doesn't have 14 kids with the hopes of getting a reality TV show and a book deal. Funny you mentioned tv show....if he got a show, he'd have groupies...... Think he'd learn how to deal with women then?
You'reasian Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Honestly, say he sees a shrink, and works on his issues. How many women do you think are going to give a 38 year old virgin a chance? .5%? That's presuming an instant fix. Therapy takes years. Say he's 40 or 41. when he's "normal". DO you really think any woman would give him a shot given he's had no seal of approval from other women? FACT: Women desire men that other women desire. No women have desired him. They WILL hold it against him. And what kind of help are YOU to this guy?!?! Your statistics are horse$h!t and have the same academic rigor of wikipedia, except wikipedia provides a base-level knowledge. This man does not need a seal of approval, he needs a coach. It can be a man or preferably a woman, someone who can build his confidence and get him where he NEEDS to be. He needs coaching, not counselling.
betamanlet Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 And what kind of help are YOU to this guy?!?! Your statistics are horse$h!t and have the same academic rigor of wikipedia, except wikipedia provides a base-level knowledge. This man does not need a seal of approval, he needs a coach. It can be a man or preferably a woman, someone who can build his confidence and get him where he NEEDS to be. He needs coaching, not counselling. Yes, we all know how much male virgins are in demand by women
You'reasian Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Two psychiatrists (plus others) told me there is probably nothing that can be done at this point. One suggested experimental Electroshock therapy(I s#$% you not). Another thought I should accept what I have and get disability (SDI). Name names, institutions/clinics, written statements.
boogieboy Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Yes, we all know how much male virgins are in demand by women Theyre in demand if they dont mention the virginity...
You'reasian Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Yes, we all know how much male virgins are in demand by women It doesn't matter what we think. What matters is getting this guy hooked up with some sexy women, because he attracted them!
Author virgin Posted November 14, 2009 Author Posted November 14, 2009 It doesn't matter what we think. What matters is getting this guy hooked up with some sexy women' date=' because he attracted them! [/quote'] One shrink suggested a sexual surrogate, but she said she can't help me any further. I think that is word for prostitute.
You'reasian Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 (edited) One shrink suggested a sexual surrogate, but she said she can't help me any further. I think that is word for prostitute. The point is getting you where you need to be. Edited November 14, 2009 by You'reasian
boogieboy Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 One shrink suggested a sexual surrogate, but she said she can't help me any further. I think that is word for prostitute. You dont seem to mention wher eyour shrink said that they can see how you dont want to do the work to help yourself...then she said she cant help you any further.
Author virgin Posted November 14, 2009 Author Posted November 14, 2009 You dont seem to mention wher eyour shrink said that they can see how you dont want to do the work to help yourself...then she said she cant help you any further. I probably shouldn't post, there is really nothing that can be done to fix my situation. A normal guy can move to a new city, and in a few weeks have a blackbook full of friends. I have no entries in my phone book, male or female. For me to do that would be daunting and impossible. In one on one social situations I also frezee up, wrap my hand around my body and can barely get a word out. Teaching is different, I just talk to chairs. I HATED office hours, and I only stuck strictly to the academic subject matter. What could I do? Goto the supermarket and bother the women there? I wouldn't even know what to say. Even pick up artists have trouble getting random women.
boogieboy Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 I probably shouldn't post, there is really nothing that can be done to fix my situation. A normal guy can move to a new city, and in a few weeks have a blackbook full of friends. I have no entries in my phone book, male or female. For me to do that would be daunting and impossible. In one on one social situations I also frezee up, wrap my hand around my body and can barely get a word out. Teaching is different, I just talk to chairs. I HATED office hours, and I only stuck strictly to the academic subject matter. What could I do? Goto the supermarket and bother the women there? I wouldn't even know what to say. Even pick up artists have trouble getting random women. Pick up artists have opening lines ready to start conversations, so they actually do run up to random women and they already know what theyre going to say. Your situation is just that you put up a barrier in your brain that since you dont know what to say, you dont want to even try, you get yourself all riled up and twisted. It takes practice to be relaxed around women. You should just start chatting up women everywhere you go, no matter where it is. Talk about whats around them. If youre at a bus stop..."hey, nice rings." You dont worry about the outcome, you do it as an experiment to see how they react to you. One step at a time. But you would never try that would you?
Author virgin Posted November 14, 2009 Author Posted November 14, 2009 Pick up artists have opening lines ready to start conversations, so they actually do run up to random women and they already know what theyre going to say. Your situation is just that you put up a barrier in your brain that since you dont know what to say, you dont want to even try, you get yourself all riled up and twisted. It takes practice to be relaxed around women. You should just start chatting up women everywhere you go, no matter where it is. Talk about whats around them. If youre at a bus stop..."hey, nice rings." You dont worry about the outcome, you do it as an experiment to see how they react to you. One step at a time. But you would never try that would you? I feel like I'm lost in rural china and don't speak the language. My brain obfuscates everything and I can't say a world. Believe me I tried what you are saying for last 20 years and couldn't do it.
boogieboy Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 I feel like I'm lost in rural china and don't speak the language. My brain obfuscates everything and I can't say a world. Believe me I tried what you are saying for last 20 years and couldn't do it. I dont believe you. If you can post without confusion on a massage board, and you can teach in front of a classroom of women, you can get over the barrier but you dont want to. And you wont tell what the real problem is, so maybe you SHOULD stop posting if youre not looking for help.
dreamergrl Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Yes, pity on an anonymous message board.... . Says the guy who cries about his height on how many different posts? I think one can only use certain things as a reason why for this or that for so long. Unless we're talking extremes. I'm not saying OP doesn't have issues that make it harder, but it doesn't make it impossible.
385 Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Teaching is different, I just talk to chairs. I HATED office hours, and I only stuck strictly to the academic subject matter. Thanks for the tip. I'm terrible when it comes to talking to a group of people. As my audience increases in size, the more nervous I get. But one on one I'm probably the best talker there is. Now, when I'm doing a presentation, I'll just talk to chairs or something. Hopefully that'll help me get over my stage fright.
Author virgin Posted November 15, 2009 Author Posted November 15, 2009 I dont believe you. If you can post without confusion on a massage board, and you can teach in front of a classroom of women, you can get over the barrier but you dont want to. And you wont tell what the real problem is, so maybe you SHOULD stop posting if youre not looking for help. Those are different skills. Aspergers people can talk unilaterally about a subject until it will bore someone else to death. The poor woman who used me had to put up with my discussions about arcane topics like detailed dissertations about car engines or some weird topic in Mediterranean cooking or something about digital filters. I don't know any give and take in conversations. I can't sense when people are bored and just go on and on and on. You seem to be a mental health researcher because the providers I used and what I read on the internet seems to reaffirm my hopeless plight.
boogieboy Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 So if you are so hopeless, and you are so proud of your multiple afflictions, what are you here for?
Author virgin Posted November 15, 2009 Author Posted November 15, 2009 So if you are so hopeless, and you are so proud of your multiple afflictions, what are you here for? maybe to vent, maybe to get some insight....
boogieboy Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 maybe to vent, maybe to get some insight.... if you have asbergers, you need to go to an asbergers site.
385 Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 or some weird topic in Mediterranean cooking. Here's a thought: Join a cooking club. Chances are, there will be a bunch of girls you can talk to, and you'd never bore someone talking about making food.
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