Alice In Wonderland Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Okay first off, let me state clearly that I am married and I love my husband with my whole heart and soul. I would never cheat on him and cant imagine life without him. That being said, I am a private in the army and have been stationed overseas for almost a month now and it can be anywhere from one to four months before my husband can join me here. I have been in long distance relationships and am not worried about that. The fact of the matter is, Im half-lonley, bonding quickly with new friends and co-workers and rather pleased with the eye candy around my job. There is one person in particular at my workplace whom I cant help but look at, look for, chat with, etc. I think he's fairly cute (I admit he's no model or anything but he's very nice and is very physically fit). He lives in the building close to mine and we ride to work together and, since our area is just a big open room that we constantly move around, we're always bumping into each other and chatting and such. He seeks me out for chats far more often than I do him, however I check him out regularly and have been caught (by him) quite a few times doing that. We also do PT together and since I failed my PT test he has set himself up as my personal trainer of sorts (He tortured me at the gymn for 2.5 hours yesterday). I hate working out but the thing is he's my NCO which means he's also my boss (thus even more not-allowed), so when he says we are going to the gymn I dont get a say it it nor do I get to choose what to do or when to quit. I think part of it is (as a submissive at heart) Ive always liked authority figures and someone else taking charge (on my terms though). He even walked me to my friends barracks when it was dark and foggy out bc I was freaked out. He has made NO MOVES whatsoever to imply that he's intrested in me other than friendly banter, common playfulness and a willingness to help me out and not be annoyed by me (as far as I know). So I, silly nieve I, thought he had no clue that I had a crush on him. Well come to find out, EVERYONE knows! No one has ever mentioned it to me, but today a new Sgt told my friend 'Your pal sure keeps checking out Sgt Z' and when I asked my friend if I had been obvious he said very much so. But Sgt Z has never brought it up to me, nor has he withdrawl from the banter, playfulness or anything else with one another. While I dont feel like he's flirting with me or intrested in me, I dont feel like he's turning me away or being annoyed by my crush either. I told my female friend that he probably doesnt like me and just likes me as a friend and enjoys knowing that someone finds him attractive. However now that its been pointed out I feel a bit embarresed about my behavior and worry that he thinks Ive been coming on to him or something. I dont want it to seem that way because while I am not dead, and have eyes, I have never cheated on my husband in 3 years and am certain it's just a 'new shiny toy' thing. I honestly have no fears that anything would come of this one way or the other (as I adore my husband) and I think its just because Im lonley, horny and he's a new cutie around. However Im not sure how he feels or if he's noticed or if I should be embarressed about my (aparant) obviousness at work or what? Quiet confused!
You'reasian Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 He has made NO MOVES whatsoever to imply that he's intrested in me other than friendly banter, common playfulness and a willingness to help me out and not be annoyed by me (as far as I know). While I dont feel like he's flirting with me or intrested in me, I dont feel like he's turning me away or being annoyed by my crush either. I told my female friend that he probably doesnt like me and just likes me as a friend and enjoys knowing that someone finds him attractive. Quiet confused! From your description of his behavior, he is being professional and motivating to you as a superior. Sounds like an ideal leader. Its ok to find other's attractive - it is not ok to act on it because you are married and he is a superior. Keep a cool head about this. Enjoy that you find your supervisor attractive, but have the kind of discipline that you earned to keep things professional.
Phateless Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Agreed. There is nothing wrong with attraction; in fact it's unavoidable at times! The power you have is CHOICE. I trust you do the right thing, and the more trustworthy you are, the more trust you will have in your husband.
Author Alice In Wonderland Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 Thank you for your advice, I intend to keep a certain distance because I am married and dont want to be tempted. However I was more concerned with, if he hasnt mentioned anything about it, and no one has said anything directly about it to me, but people have clearly noticed that I am attracted to him, should I feel embaressed about it? What can I do to avoid it, I find that I automatically scan around for him when I or he is walking around (although he has a tendency to sneak up on me), I cant help that I feel he's attractive and its almost subconcious when I glance over at him or something like that. I dont want to make him feel weird but if anything he's been MORE friendly as time has gone on so I would think if I were making him feel akward he would have mentioned it or pulled away. There is a lot of flirting (mostly playful and meaningless) around our workplace (were all pretty much between the ages of 20-30, all away from home) so maybe he just thinks its normal? IDK. I dont want to be weird about it but Ive always worn how I feel on my sleeve and dont know how to be more...profesional about it?
Phateless Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 I see... I wouldn't worry so much about it... just take ownership of the fact that yes, you're attracted, but WHO CARES, you won't do anything about it.
Devil Inside Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 I agree with the others. Being attracted and acting on it are very different things. So you think he is hot..so what? Most guys find that to be an ego boost, and as long as the two of you never cross a line it does not even need to be spoken about...if it is then you might really be embarassed. BTW..thank you for what you do...I appreciate it!
Author Alice In Wonderland Posted November 14, 2009 Author Posted November 14, 2009 No problem and thanks again for the advice. I guess I was just kind of shocked that I thought I was being all covert and come to find out everyone knew LOL.
Devil Inside Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 No problem and thanks again for the advice. I guess I was just kind of shocked that I thought I was being all covert and come to find out everyone knew LOL. LOL...from the way you describe the guy online I can tell...you are probably not too covert. Non verbals give people away everytime. Figure out how to resolve that issue before the hubby gets out there.
Author Alice In Wonderland Posted November 14, 2009 Author Posted November 14, 2009 Actually he's PCSing back to the states in January so he will probably be gone before my husband gets out here lol.
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