Author virgin Posted November 15, 2009 Author Posted November 15, 2009 You can get married at any age. I can tell you now though that you need to open up and let some fresh air and sunlight into that head of yours first. You need to get out of your bubble and open up to life first before you can get married. It's not impossible, but based on your "hopeless" kind of responses, you definitely need to focus on changing your mindset rather than getting marriage. I'm sure you know that you need a healthy realtionship with yourself before you can have a healthy relationship with someone else. I have a terrible internet addiction too, it is preventing me from even going out. Even if I stop the computer, I will go work on my car or do something else. I don't know where to start, how to make friends,etc. Again, at my age around here everyone is married with kids and they are not friendly.
Ms. Joolie Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I have a terrible internet addiction too, it is preventing me from even going out. Even if I stop the computer, I will go work on my car or do something else. I don't know where to start, how to make friends,etc. Again, at my age around here everyone is married with kids and they are not friendly. So you live a quiet life then... you are unemployed, right? Have you considered volunteering someplace? That will get you out of the house, busy with something, AND have you open up, too. You need to open up now. You need something, however small, that will open up your world a little bit more. Volunteer. Attend a class. How about go to a gym? You don't even have to talk for some of these things. Just be with other people. Perhaps work with a therapist who specializes in relationships. Talk about what you are going through. You have a brilliant and educated mind, and I see no reason why you can't begin to take the small steps needed to open up your life, begin to work at relationships. Every step forward is a step right? Step by step you'll make it... that's how it's done.
boogieboy Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I love your persistence Joolie....he mentioned his first obstacle is getting over talking to people. He says He cant talk to people without his words getting all muddled up. He says he cant work on that.
betamanlet Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I love your persistence Joolie....he mentioned his first obstacle is getting over talking to people. He says He cant talk to people without his words getting all muddled up. He says he cant work on that. I've spoken to him on the phone and he spoke well, but that's different than in person. I think his #1 priority should be to see a shrink about getting over his fear of germs. He cannot even go to a restaurant and eat there for fear of the utensils..
Lucky_One Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Manlet, perhaps it would do your friend good if he answered for himself, rather than you defending him and explaining his actions in your words and your beliefs. OP, perhaps you need to tell your friend that you are capable of answering comments on your own thread?
BobSacamento Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I've spoken to him on the phone and he spoke well, but that's different than in person. I think his #1 priority should be to see a shrink about getting over his fear of germs. He cannot even go to a restaurant and eat there for fear of the utensils.. Honestly, I don't really care what you have to say about this dude. If anything you could be a crutch. Let the man speak for himself. Don't you think he should speak for himself? Maybe he doesn't want people knowing he has OCD. You blabbing about at every opportunity using it as his excuse brings it no weight.
dreamergrl Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Honestly, I don't really care what you have to say about this dude. If anything you could be a crutch. Let the man speak for himself. Don't you think he should speak for himself? Maybe he doesn't want people knowing he has OCD. You blabbing about at every opportunity using it as his excuse brings it no weight. And he's giving the dude excuses, making it all okay. Probably what mom and dad have been doing for him his whole life. It's pointless though. Those who want to change, change. Those who don't stay forever supposedly helpless and complain.
Pizzaman81 Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 Mens sexuality skyrockets as they get older. Older men have rock hard granite boners that last hours and send women to heaven. OOh! I can't wait til i'm 70! -Pizzaman
Pizzaman81 Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 Hey Virgin, First off change your screenname, it shows that you are inflicting more pain upon yourself. Secondly, what state and city do you live in? Have you visted the website http://www.meetup.com? You can search for things you have interest in, such as hiking, sushi, bowling etc, and it will have meetup groups that share the same interest. You sign on, join the group and they will post meet up events. You can meet people and do what you enjoy! Each group would have meetups one after another week after week... so you will definetely see the same people there. Build on that. -Pizzaman
simplythebest Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 Virgin, Believe it or not, I know exactly how you feel... I was a virgin until I was 25. Not by a lack of options, but by choice. I thought my life would be like a fairy-tale. I thought I would one day I would meet THE ONE, but that did not happen. One day I fell in love, only to be disapointed later on... I was extremely depressed. I felt like everyone had lied to me. all my life I thought that if I was good, good things would happen to me, right? Well, I was wrong. I felt betrayed. I felt entitled to good things in life simply because I was still a virgin. I thought I was better than every other girl because I was a virgin. That was innocent. After the breakup, I was extremely depressed. I didn't know what to do. I ended up having sex with someone I had just met (2 dates and 2 weeks later!!!). At first, I felt awful and extremely guilty. With time, I started feeling better about it. It seemed as if I had finally grown up, I was no longer the virgin, but a normal person. It turns out that I had let my being a virgin define my entire existence. I felt like men did not want virgins. I thought they would rather be with sluts and prostitutes than virgins. Only after I lost my virginity did i realize that it wasn't true. My advice to you is to stop your virginity from defining who you are. You are you. Virgin or no virgin, I am who I am. I accept and love myself now. Lastly, when you meet someone, you don't have to tell them you are a virgin, the guy I had sex with never found out about me. I figured it was none of his business.
CaliGuy Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 OP has the thought occured to you that you need professional counseling? At this point, you know you have major issues to address and as much as we can try and help you on the forum, I really think going to a professional counselor is your best bet.
Yukikazi Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 Look for the silver lining virgin... Least you don't have women you just try to be friendly with a touch them on the arm recoil saying "eww don't touch me" Hear that enough times and your head****ed for sure.
boogieboy Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 OP has the thought occured to you that you need professional counseling? At this point, you know you have major issues to address and as much as we can try and help you on the forum, I really think going to a professional counselor is your best bet. He did get counceleing and since he didnt want to work on fixing his issues, they gave up on him.
doomage Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 You have to get over the fact that starting a conversation or approaching a woman is creepy or offensive. Do you expect women to do all the heavy lifting for you? If you just sit by and wait for a woman it's never gonna happen you have to make it happen, even if you fail the first couple times don't get down be proud that atleast you had the balls to make a difference in your life and hers, if she doesn't take you up on you what you have to offer it's her loss not yours. Shoot if it was offensive or creepy to talk to girls or approach them none of us would exist today. And your kicking your own ass before you even talk to a girl by having that mentality that she wouldnt' wan't you anyways. When you have that internal dialogue going within you other people can sense it and therefore give you exactly what your asking for. If you think your no good then you must be right. But if you believe in yourself and actually try to change your life then women and people will see that and you will be much happier.
VeveCakes Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 OP - Do you want help or not? You do realize you have a whole forum here full of people giving you advice and truely trying to help you and all you can do is ignore it and say it's hopeless. Why did you come here in the first place? As for suggestions, ever thought about a singles cruise? A great place to meet other singles, they arrange activities and loads of things. Plus there is drinking invloved so anything can happen! lol
CaliGuy Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 He did get counceleing and since he didnt want to work on fixing his issues, they gave up on him. Well given that information I'll bow out of the thread. There's nothing anyone on this Earth can do for someone who does not want to earnestly fix their own problems. B*tching about your problems won't get them fixed, OP. Only honestly with yourself and a sincere desire to change will. Either way, good luck. Nothing is going to change in your life without the honest desire to do so.
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