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38 year old depressed virgin


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Posted
In real life?

 

 

I've never met him. Spoke to him on the phone once.

Posted
I honestly don't believe anything about Susan Boyle. Why? BEcause she was on a reality TV show. She sought it out. Those shows attracts narcissists and she might have just said anything she thought that would get her attention.

 

Damn, how do you even get your cynical butt out of bed in the morning?

Posted
Damn, how do you even get your cynical butt out of bed in the morning?

 

 

Come on, it's reality TV we're talking about..

Posted
Damn, how do you even get your cynical butt out of bed in the morning?

I also highly doubt the Susan Boyle story. It has to either be lip-syncing or a big lie. If her voice was so good, don't you think she would have gotten some sort of job as a voice actor or something? Hell, she could be in some sort of opera/theater play or something.

Posted
I've never met him. Spoke to him on the phone once.

 

You spoke on the phone with him once... and you know all this info on him? I mean... you are heavily involved in all this threads.

Posted

Seriously, these are the people that reality TV has b rought us:

 

Balloon boy family..

 

Octomom (wants her own show)

 

Jon and Kate + 8

 

These people are seriously mentally ill and absolutely thrive on the attention they get.. Reality TV attracts these people.

Posted
I also highly doubt the Susan Boyle story. It has to either be lip-syncing or a big lie. If her voice was so good, don't you think she would have gotten some sort of job as a voice actor or something? Hell, she could be in some sort of opera/theater play or something.

 

Right. Unless she spent the first 38 years of her life hating herself as much as Virgin does. He's got talents he's not using. Unless you think he's faking it too. I'm just trying to give the guy a little inspiration, what's the point of blasting the one example I chose?

 

But hey, maybe he really is the only 38-year-old virgin in the world.

Posted
You spoke on the phone with him once... and you know all this info on him? I mean... you are heavily involved in all this threads.

 

I think they're actually the same person.

Posted
Right. Unless she spent the first 38 years of her life hating herself as much as Virgin does. He's got talents he's not using. Unless you think he's faking it too. I'm just trying to give the guy a little inspiration, what's the point of blasting the one example I chose?

 

But hey, maybe he really is the only 38-year-old virgin in the world.

First of all, I don't know why many people, including him, focuses on the fact that he's a '38-year-old virgin'. That's not important right now. The first step is making friends, talking to people, etc... You're not going to lose your virginity if you can't even say 'hi' to people. Being a virgin or not is the last thing you should be worrying about.

Posted
First of all, I don't know why many people, including him, focuses on the fact that he's a '38-year-old virgin'. That's not important right now. The first step is making friends, talking to people, etc... You're not going to lose your virginity if you can't even say 'hi' to people. Being a virgin or not is the last thing you should be worrying about.

 

I absolutely agree. But we don't seem to be getting anywhere in 120+ posts, and I really don't know what else to suggest. It's really very sad, but he's got to at least want to change, and I'm not convinced that's the case. I would hope that the fact that people here are taking the time to respond would be encouraging, but that doesn't seem to be true either.

Posted

I agree with those who advise not to focus on your 'status'.

 

It really does not matter how long you have been a virgin or even that you are one, you can only start from where you are now.

 

I am no expert, but I would think it's best for you to get out there and get involved in a few activities, especially sports.

 

It will help to build you confidence, ease your depression and you are bound to meet a few nice people. If nothing else, it will stop you stewing over your situation, which is getting you nowhere,

Posted
First of all, I don't know why many people, including him, focuses on the fact that he's a '38-year-old virgin'. That's not important right now. The first step is making friends, talking to people, etc... You're not going to lose your virginity if you can't even say 'hi' to people. Being a virgin or not is the last thing you should be worrying about.

 

He says he cannot talk to people because of his disorder. He refuses to work on it.

Posted

Talk to women. Your disorder is rubbish.

Posted
Talk to women. Your disorder is rubbish.

 

I LOVE the term rubbish. Im gonna start using it on here.

  • Author
Posted
I'm confused... can someone tell me how Beta knows OP so well?

We are not the same people, we post on other forums for years, and we email each other all the time. We both know each other very well, but never met in person.

  • Author
Posted
First of all, I don't know why many people, including him, focuses on the fact that he's a '38-year-old virgin'. That's not important right now. The first step is making friends, talking to people, etc... You're not going to lose your virginity if you can't even say 'hi' to people. Being a virgin or not is the last thing you should be worrying about.

 

I went on the internet in 1996 and posted this problem when I was 25. The thread and advice were similar to this one, and I wasn't able to do anything then. People couldn't believe I was a 25 year old virgin then. Now I have even more baggage and I'm older, so its probably closed, hopeless situation.

  • Like 1
Posted
I went on the internet in 1996 and posted this problem when I was 25. The thread and advice were similar to this one, and I wasn't able to do anything then. People couldn't believe I was a 25 year old virgin then. Now I have even more baggage and I'm older, so its probably closed, hopeless situation.

 

Help yourself and you will be helped.

 

I suppose you stop asking for advice/miracle and start to do something useful.

Have you even tried some things people advice you to do? Or you dis them before you even try?

 

I bet you do know really well what you should do to improve your situation. Stop the excuses and start doing it. Or join a monastery. HOWG.

Posted

This guy's actual mental disorder is 'severe acute stubborness syndrome.'

Posted (edited)

You need to work with a professional counselor. You mentioned that you've gone to a couple and they haven't helped. They were either not good or didn't have the proper experience working with people in your situation. You should keep looking around and find one that's going to help you out. It may take several tries to find a good one, but be persistent.

 

The quality of advice you get from a GOOD professional is likely to be far better than you get from here.

Edited by thegreatmoose
Posted
I went on the internet in 1996 and posted this problem when I was 25. The thread and advice were similar to this one, and I wasn't able to do anything then. People couldn't believe I was a 25 year old virgin then. Now I have even more baggage and I'm older, so its probably closed, hopeless situation.

 

So now at 38 yrs, are you motivated enough to truly change things? Or in another 13 years, will you be posting again about your misery?

 

It's up to you now to change your life, do you really want that? Are you ready this time to commit to new things?

 

Let me ask you, how is your basic life.... I mean, do you eat well, exercise, get good sleep? You are well educated I take it. So it seems if you have the basic things in life set, and you are well educated, you only need to work on improving your life. (as opposed to survival) Commit to new things for yourself, see new results.

 

It will take dedication on your part, but you CAN transform your life.

Posted
So now at 38 yrs, are you motivated enough to truly change things? Or in another 13 years, will you be posting again about your misery?

 

It's up to you now to change your life, do you really want that? Are you ready this time to commit to new things?

 

Let me ask you, how is your basic life.... I mean, do you eat well, exercise, get good sleep? You are well educated I take it. So it seems if you have the basic things in life set, and you are well educated, you only need to work on improving your life. (as opposed to survival) Commit to new things for yourself, see new results.

 

It will take dedication on your part, but you CAN transform your life.

 

Maybe you didnt read all of the thread, or the other two threads he posted, he said he has no intention on improving his life. he blames his disorder.

Posted

Also, maybe you have considered having sex with a prostitute for your first time, just to get it over with, but I assure you this is not a good idea. You do NOT need your first time to be with a prostitute, that will set you up for disaster.

 

Why? Because if you just pay someone to give it to you, then you are not earning it. You can easily bypass the process it takes to get a woman and just take the easy way out. Consequently, if you know that you can pay for sex, you will never really learn how to form a good realtionship with a woman. Needless to say, without a real relationship with a woman, or the know how, you will only be placing yourself deeper and deeper in the hole.

 

I'd suggest you stop any porn addiction, too. Because this is also fueling your desire to only have sex with woman, only seeing them as sex objects, obsessing over getting sex.... whereas you really need to begin developing relationship Know How.

  • Author
Posted
Also, maybe you have considered having sex with a prostitute for your first time, just to get it over with, but I assure you this is not a good idea. You do NOT need your first time to be with a prostitute, that will set you up for disaster.

 

Why? Because if you just pay someone to give it to you, then you are not earning it. You can easily bypass the process it takes to get a woman and just take the easy way out. Consequently, if you know that you can pay for sex, you will never really learn how to form a good realtionship with a woman. Needless to say, without a real relationship with a woman, or the know how, you will only be placing yourself deeper and deeper in the hole.

 

I'd suggest you stop any porn addiction, too. Because this is also fueling your desire to only have sex with woman, only seeing them as sex objects, obsessing over getting sex.... whereas you really need to begin developing relationship Know How.

 

I don't think I would want sex unless I was married to a woman, but that will probably never happen.

Posted
Maybe you didnt read all of the thread, or the other two threads he posted, he said he has no intention on improving his life. he blames his disorder.

 

Virgin, you have no excuse for living a miserable life. If you want a miserable life, that is one thing. If you don't, if you want to live a better life, that is completely up to you.

 

I did read that great people such as Einstein had Aspergers Syndrome. Look at his life. Look how he came through, look at how he contributed to society instead of wallowing in his own misery.

 

Look at cancer victims, or wheelchair bound people. Stephen Hawkins? Christopher Reeves? These men were not going to settle with living a miserable life.

 

You have no excuse.

 

Do you really want to be miserable?

Posted (edited)
I don't think I would want sex unless I was married to a woman, but that will probably never happen.

 

You can get married at any age. I can tell you now though that you need to open up and let some fresh air and sunlight into that head of yours first. You need to get out of your bubble and open up to life first before you can get married.

 

It's not impossible, but based on your "hopeless" kind of responses, you definitely need to focus on changing your mindset rather than getting married

 

I'm sure you know that you need a healthy relationship with yourself before you can have a healthy relationship with someone else.

Edited by Ms. Joolie
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