boogieboy Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 The few dates I went on I probably bored women to death, I don't have the hobbies men my age have like spectator sports or drinking beer with the guys (these men seem to get all the ladies). . If you arent really interested in sports...unless youre looking for women who are die hard sports fans, that isnt going to really be great dinner conversation. Magic bullets handbook, look it up, you will learn how to not bore women on dates---trust me. Might wanna lern how to cook if you dont already know how to do so. Cooking is a big deal. Whats the deal with your appearance, are you clean cut, clean shaven, fit, nice hair, whats the deal? Do you smell nice and clean?
You'reasian Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 The only hug I ever got in my life was from some 20 yo girl 2 years ago who said I was the best teacher she ever had(she knew I was leaving the school). . She validates your skill. She asked me if I'm single and I said why is it your business? I went home and realized that I said said something really stupid. I always think over and over again if she may have been interested in me. I bet other women would be interested in you too if you got out more.
boogieboy Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 if your deal is just saying stupid things...actually tone and body language comes into play alot, and if you dont know what youre doing, you could be sending the wrong signals. That stuff takes practice, but you have to understand what to do first.
Author virgin Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 If you arent really interested in sports...unless youre looking for women who are die hard sports fans, that isnt going to really be great dinner conversation. Magic bullets handbook, look it up, you will learn how to not bore women on dates---trust me. Might wanna lern how to cook if you dont already know how to do so. Cooking is a big deal. Whats the deal with your appearance, are you clean cut, clean shaven, fit, nice hair, whats the deal? Do you smell nice and clean? I can cook a few dishes. The last (if you want to call it relationship) I had was one where the woman had me doing all kinds of favors for her(fixing her car, making her dinner, etc). I did tons of home repairs for her too. I never made a move and she didn't either. Eventually I came home and found out her in bed with another guy, she was always telling me how innocent she is. I'm clean shaven, I can't say I have a full head of hair but not bald. I don't really dress nice, didn't buy clothes in many years, I'm just to depressed. I don't wear perfume, I try to shower if I'm not too depressed.
boogieboy Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Why not just punch him in the face. Would be less painful Oh you havent been here long....I am the Chuck Liddell of posters........
boogieboy Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I can cook a few dishes. The last (if you want to call it relationship) I had was one where the woman had me doing all kinds of favors for her(fixing her car, making her dinner, etc). I did tons of home repairs for her too. I never made a move and she didn't either. Eventually I came home and found out her in bed with another guy, she was always telling me how innocent she is. I'm clean shaven, I can't say I have a full head of hair but not bald. I don't really dress nice, didn't buy clothes in many years, I'm just to depressed. I don't wear perfume, I try to shower if I'm not too depressed. Ok good start. Btw NEVER do favors for women until you go on a couple dates and at least get some kisses. When you offer your services they didnt earn, youre basically telling them "Walk all over me".
jw90063 Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I don't really dress nice, didn't buy clothes in many years, I'm just to depressed. I don't wear perfume, I try to shower if I'm not too depressed. Sorry, if you don't dress nice and you only shower when not depressed, that could be a problem as far as meeting women.
You'reasian Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I can cook a few dishes. The last (if you want to call it relationship) I had was one where the woman had me doing all kinds of favors for her(fixing her car, making her dinner, etc). I did tons of home repairs for her too. I never made a move and she didn't either. Eventually I came home and found out her in bed with another guy, she was always telling me how innocent she is.. She's history and its no mystery... I'm clean shaven, I can't say I have a full head of hair but not bald. I don't really dress nice, didn't buy clothes in many years, I'm just to depressed. I don't wear perfume, I try to shower if I'm not too depressed. Sounds like a good opportunity to improve yourself: get some new clothes, get some cologne, get a new plan etc.
Johnny M Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 I didn't really have luck with online dating for some reason. When I'm honest with women they bail. So don't be honest with them. They don't need to know that you're a depressed 38 year old virgin. Also, stop putting women on a pedestal. Realize that there lots of women out there who are just as messed up as you are, if not worse.
carhill Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 OP, welcome and a few questions: 1. Have you ever been infatuated with a woman? Describe the feelings as best you can. 2. Why do you think you have no friends? 3. Have you ever had a comprehensive psychological evaluation as part of the 'plethora' of therapy? You mentioned Asperger's. Was that a singular opinion or a consensus reached by group of practitioners? 4. Have you ever taken any form of psychoactive medication? If yes, what kind and what were the perceived effects?
Author virgin Posted November 14, 2009 Author Posted November 14, 2009 OP, welcome and a few questions: 1. Have you ever been infatuated with a woman? Describe the feelings as best you can. I kinda thought about some women that I want to be with but I might as well have thought about being the CEO of Microsoft. 2. Why do you think you have no friends? I can't answer this. 3. Have you ever had a comprehensive psychological evaluation as part of the 'plethora' of therapy? You mentioned Asperger's. Was that a singular opinion or a consensus reached by group of practitioners? I didn't have a psychological evaluation. I went to a social worker, 3 psychololgists and 2 Psychitrists. They said I have an unspecified social disorder or type of Aspergers/Autism. They also said I'm a very complicatred case and there is ongoing research in the field, and they can't really be certain as to my prognosis. 4. Have you ever taken any form of psychoactive medication? If yes, what kind and what were the perceived effects? I'm very against medication. I was also told by a psychitrist that any medication I take will treat symptoms but wont touch the underlying problem. If I could make my anxiety and depression suddenly disapper, I would still be left with a horrible social malady. I have a feeling its genetic, there are members of my family who got married because of women who practically felt sorry for them. My grandfather would crawl on the floor if people called on the phone, he was so crazy about talking to strange people.
Author virgin Posted November 14, 2009 Author Posted November 14, 2009 Also, I notice that single women have extremely high expectations. I was reading a post on here about some woman in her 30s who claims every guy who approaches her online is a creep and practically summarily rejects them. Women don't give men any chances today, years ago women were much more flexible with men.
Ms. Joolie Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Virgen... just checking in and reading all the new thread post. I'm so happy for you, because your opening up and sharing with a bunch of strangers! do you know how big and good a step that is? :faint:
Author virgin Posted November 14, 2009 Author Posted November 14, 2009 Virgen... just checking in and reading all the new thread post. I'm so happy for you, because your opening up and sharing with a bunch of strangers! do you know how big and good a step that is? :faint: My communication deficiencies melt in front of the polarized glow of LCD light . I have thouands of posts on many messageboards(auto, home repair, etc) and I feel I can solve almost any problem except my own 1
carhill Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 OP, as someone intelligent enough to become a university professor, you clearly have the ability to think critically and analyze data and form conclusions and hypotheses and test those. You're talking to someone who has seen and/or walked much of your path, except without the professional credentials and social status they infer. A working man, if you will. The reason I asked you about your feelings (not whether you were successful, or even acted) regarding an infatuation or attraction is because I want to determine your intrapersonal intelligence; how well you recognize and analyze your own emotions. Understanding yourself is the first and largest step towards having healthy interpersonal relationships. Do you think you're a 'loving person'? What does that phrase mean to you? Lastly, do you feel you are destined to be the sum total of your genetics and have no other path? Is it literally your death sentence? Can you change nothing? Those are hard questions. I hope we can find answers.
Ms. Joolie Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 also.. i'm on my mobile so i can't really go in depth here.. but start thinking about all your good qualities. for example: you are a 38 yr old man, college instructor type, good build it seems... so far so good... and even if you are depressive, that isn't a bad thing. you have a unique view of the world.. a brilliant mind... so far so good! you see?? you just need to recognize who you are... not that negative picture of yourself that you only imagine.
Javelin Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Virgin, I don't think you have any phycological issues. You may think that you do, but I'm fairly certain after reading your posts that you are your own problem. Your depression is probably clouding your judgement and since you already have zero self-esteem, it brings you to believe that you're pretty much worthless in terms of interacting with other people, especially women. Don't think for a moment that there aren't others out there like yourself. I think the only way you're going to solve your problem is to meet it head on. Obviously it's going to be difficult, but you have to think big, but start small! First I would suggest making some male friend, though! Once you've done that, report back!
Author virgin Posted November 14, 2009 Author Posted November 14, 2009 OP, as someone intelligent enough to become a university professor, you clearly have the ability to think critically and analyze data and form conclusions and hypotheses and test those. You're talking to someone who has seen and/or walked much of your path, except without the professional credentials and social status they infer. A working man, if you will. The reason I asked you about your feelings (not whether you were successful, or even acted) regarding an infatuation or attraction is because I want to determine your intrapersonal intelligence; how well you recognize and analyze your own emotions. Understanding yourself is the first and largest step towards having healthy interpersonal relationships. Do you think you're a 'loving person'? What does that phrase mean to you? Lastly, do you feel you are destined to be the sum total of your genetics and have no other path? Is it literally your death sentence? Can you change nothing? Those are hard questions. I hope we can find answers. I consider myself a loving person but I don't see women as something within my reach. For example, you may crave or want a Hollywood Celeb lifestyle (money, fame, etc), but for the common man it is extremely difficult to impossible to acheive that goal. That is how I see myself with women. I became used to pron because it provides a synthetic, physical outlet where there is no rejection or impedance. As to whether I can change things, here is another weekend commensurate with thousands in the past, and nothing is changing. No strange called my cell in years, and I sit home and fool with the internet. I also feel in another place in time I would have chances with women, but the women today are completely unattracted to a "beta male" like myself.
Ms. Joolie Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 My communication deficiencies melt in front of the polarized glow of LCD light . I have thouands of posts on many messageboards(auto, home repair, etc) and I feel I can solve almost any problem except my own i could counter everything you say with something good... you need it! poor you! and there are so many like yourself... suffering in this darkness! you know, we are not meant to solve our own problems. you can't do it alone. you think you are hiding behind a screen, but you are reaching out from behind the screen... it is a step, a real effort... with a real reward.
McGrupp Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 or fat chicks. theres gotta be some fat chicks looking around. some old single fat chicks. and btw sex, is like the cats pajamas. but you should get a hooker first, so u know what your doing...
Author virgin Posted November 14, 2009 Author Posted November 14, 2009 get a hooker /thread Never, I'm not a slob. I bet women would want a man that had a hooker though:mad:.
McGrupp Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 nothing wrong with hookers. oldest profession in the world. pretty much like porno kinda, but real!!!
carhill Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Is there a nursing home or old-folks home nearby? From personal experience I can think of some people who would really appreciate your loving nature. Smile, hold a few hands, chat. Report back how you feel. Take 30 minutes of your life and make it an experiment. From your answers so far, as well as avoidance of certain subjects and questions, I'm going to opine that you could use a psych eval. Having dealt with mental illness, I find the process kinda like diagnosing a physical illness. Differentiate, then treat. Just like the body, the brain is a chemical factory, though not yet nearly as well understood. For me, the process and therapy saved my sanity. If I would've taken those steps back when your age, my M likely would've survived. Read my evolution series of journals for details regarding 'the early years'; you might find insight. OK, off to make a pizza and feed the cat
Ms. Joolie Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 nothing wrong with hookers. oldest profession in the world. pretty much like porno kinda, but real!!! McGrupp... stop it. You're no sunshine.
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