Lexie90 Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Well, I seem to be stuck in a really freaky situation. This is going to be a rather long post, but I would appreciate your advice so if you have some time, please read on. I am a freshman at college and I fell for one of my classmates. To me, he's my shining star. He's pretty much the guy I've been always dreaming about - exactly my kind of guy. He's hot, fun and smart, MAYBE a little shy (but this might be actually the tricky part). We are not exactly friends though. We sit close to each other. At first, we just kind of "noticed" each other and our glances would meet, but as the time went, eye contact became quite frequent (and long too) and then once, he would give me the most gorgeous smile. Not like a friendly half smile, but a beautiful wide smile. Our classroom is huge and there's always plenty of space, but he would always somehow find a way to sit close to me (usually he arrives late for class). When he was with his friends, he would act all sweet and funny and then at one point we would look at me AND give me that smile... Sometimes he would show off in front of me, but not in an awkward macho-style, way more cute and gently, more like to prove how fun he is. He hangs out with some guys and a few girls, but I never gave too much of a thought there - secretly I watched how he interacted with others, and I didn't see any seductive glances there. So you can imagine how happy I was. I wouldn't eat much, sleep much, I just couldn't wait for the next class day to start. However, I didn't understand why he would never come talking to me or something - say hi and make a move, anything! I figured I needed to give him a chance to meet me when I was alone, because I'm often with a bunch of people. So I set up a few scenes where he had to run into me, but nothing happened! He would smile beautifully, but never say a word. I didn't understand. Was he really that shy or was there something wrong? One day after school I waited for a bus and he and his friends came out of the building, all laughing, apparently they were having fun. I couldn't watch the whole situation carefully, that would be just weird, but I saw that he was playing around with a GIRL, and a little too intimately to my taste (no hugs or kisses, just playing with hands, but still). I am positive he saw me standing there, plus their group was about 15 yards away from me. They stood there for a few minutes and when they were leaving, well, what I saw, it just completely broke my heart. As they were leaving, that girl - he was holding her around shoulders and she kind of had a hand put on his back - or more his backpack (or his butt?!). You can imagine how disgustingly tricked I felt. I was standing there, frozen, crushed, unable to move. So I thought, this is it? This is the reason he wouldn't do anything? Actually, this happened just yesterday... Next I'm going to see him on Wednesday, I don't know what to think or what to do. Did I get played? Is there any chance that this girl was his good friend or whatever, sister, cousin (just NOT his girlfriend) or am I being tragically delusional and all is lost? Sorry for this long post... I wanted to know your opinion, because this is a big deal for me. It takes me forever to fall in love, but when I do, I love that person with my whole heart. And the second I met this guy, I knew he was going to be special for me - I felt it that very first second, love at first sight, if you will. That is why I don't want to let go... Usually I am very careful with my feelings, so this totally crushed me... What do you think?
lostsoulmate Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Babe, If you have never talked, you haven't been played. Make the first move. Go say hi. Take it one small step at a time. Good luck.
Thornton Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 While this girl was not necessarily his girlfriend, it's likely that they're having some sort of relationship, given the way you describe their behaviour. I don't think he was necessarily flirting with you though, he was just smiling at you politely and you read a bit more into it than you perhaps should have done. It's tempting to assume that someone who you like, likes you back, but unfortunately that isn't always the case. One of my friends once had a huge crush on me, and when he confessed and I turned him down, he accused me of having flirted with him for ages - which of course wasn't the case, he was just reading too much into my behaviour and seeing what he wanted to see. Your best bet in this situation is probably to forget about this guy and look for someone who reciprocates your interest.
VeveCakes Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 This is a case of making something out of nothing. Maybe he is smiling trying to be polite because he notices you are always staring at him. If he wanted to talk to you, he has had ample time to make a move. He doesn't sound shy by the way you describe him with his friends. You haven't ever talked to him, don't make him out to be some amazing person when you don't know anything about him. He isn't interested. If he was he would have done something by now. Guys are not that complicated.
thatguy85 Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Honestly, this sounds like middle-school drama. I don't say this to belittle your feelings because they are legitimate... but there isn't even a remote possibility that you were played. You guys don't even know each other. You are reading way too much into this other girl. Yes, maybe she's his girlfriend. Maybe she's a friend. Maybe she's a F buddy. Maybe she's a sister/cousin (which I doubt if she's touching his butt). If he really smiles and checks you out as much as you say, then maybe he does like you. Stop standing on the sideline and talk to him.
Yukikazi Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I agree with most of the above responses... If you haven't even spoken to the guy.. you can't get played. Its your imagination seeing things that are not there... You have zero claim on this guy untill you get your foot out of your mouth and say something.. cause if he has a girl.. he sure as hell wont be approaching you.. but will give you plenty of time to pine over him like a lovesick puppy just hoping for a scrap of gristle to fall from the table.
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 You've made a fantasy romance in your head that I can guarantee this guy knows nothing about (doesn't even have a hint...guys do not read "hints"). So I'm going to have to join with a vote of "not played." Try talking to the guy next time.
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