thatguy114 Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Ok to start off Ill go ahead and say that I really dont drink that much, my family never did so i really didnt grow up around alcohol at all, therefore it is odd to see people drinking so much but I have come accustomed to it. My girlfriend and I started dating our senior year in high school, we have a lot of history. She drank and partied hard before we started dating and she knew that I didnt so she slowed it down when we started dating. It upset me when she said she wanted to drink just because I didnt understand it, never will. But now we have been dating for almost two years(this month) and she has become significantly less affectionate towards me and sex in general. You have to understand that we literally had sex all the time for the first couple of months, hell I even got tired of it for awhile! But the real problem is that she has just become less and less compassionate towards me and I do everything in the world for her, she knows that. She works a second job at the same resturaunt she worked at in high school, therefore she is still seeing these high school kids on a regular basis. She has basically chosen to party with them and get drunk rather than spend ANY time with me. She gets mad at me so easily. The thing is SHE was the one who was clingy to me for a looong time! But she just apologized for crying when i had to leave for college on sundays because we wouldnt see each other for a week. I want to know what has happened? She is completly throwing away everything we have worked for, and I feel that if it keeps going like this she is going to do something I will not be able to forgive....please help. ps(she gets on facebook and puts status updates like never before.....CANT WAIT TIL THE WEEKEND! and all her little high schooler friends say IKNOW love ya! and immature things to try and make me upset.....it works) Let me know if I can give you more information about my situation, cuz there is PLENTY MORE!
DustySaltus Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Get the lifeboats ready, the ship is sinking. Save yourself! You can't "save" someone that doesn't want to be saved. You made your point to her, she's ignoring you and treating you like a doormat. Why would you want to be with someone like that? I've learned more than anyone that the past is in the past. It sucks but you CANNOT continue to live off of old memories in the present. Change is inevitable you either have to accept it and MOVE ON or just continue to read her facebook updates...sure that will make you feel better.
Author thatguy114 Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 Thanks, you are right and I have heard those things from my friends as well. It just sucks, ya know what could have been. There has always been that idk factor about her tho, she just wants so much out of me and doesnt put anything into the relationship but pain. I'm over the way she's treating/treated me and I'm doing something about it today.........thanks again.....
DanielMadr Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Get the lifeboats ready, the ship is sinking. Save yourself! You can't "save" someone that doesn't want to be saved. You made your point to her, she's ignoring you and treating you like a doormat. Why would you want to be with someone like that? I've learned more than anyone that the past is in the past. It sucks but you CANNOT continue to live off of old memories in the present. Change is inevitable you either have to accept it and MOVE ON or just continue to read her facebook updates...sure that will make you feel better. He is absolutely right. If you can see future with her despite of her current behaviour, put your foot down. If it will not work, move on. She lost respect/love for you somewhere or she just prefers partying more. By putting your foot down you might get some respect back. Be aware...don't get emotional/upset/jealous...just tell her to calm the **** down or you quit.
Author thatguy114 Posted November 14, 2009 Author Posted November 14, 2009 thanks for all the help...I told her yesterday...and she didnt want to talk to me face to face....she said sorry but it would ruin her week.....wtf.........so i told her that i was done trying to save us when she didnt give a ****......i changed my status on facebook to single to show her im not messing around, she dwells on things like that. Its a waiting game now, but im not waiting around for her.......but i still love her
DustySaltus Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 thanks for all the help...I told her yesterday...and she didnt want to talk to me face to face....she said sorry but it would ruin her week.....wtf.........so i told her that i was done trying to save us when she didnt give a ****......i changed my status on facebook to single to show her im not messing around, she dwells on things like that. Its a waiting game now, but im not waiting around for her.......but i still love her 2 years together and you can't even get a courtesy of a face to face meeting? "Ruin her week"???? Your week was already ruined, she didn't give a S***. Don't do anything to show HER your serious. Do it because YOUR serious about knowing that you deserve better than this. Delete her from facebook as well. Please read Caliguy's NC guide in my signature line and stick to it.
dreamergrl Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Look, she's young. You both are. The difference is many young people like to get out and party these days. You aren't like that, and would be better off finding someone that is compatible in that sense. I don't think it makes either of you a bad person, it's just how it is. I'm willing to bet she feels resentful for changing who she is for someone else, and not because she wanted to. You can't make someone be different. They are who they are. If what she wants to do bothers you so much, then move on. Most high school relationships don't last forever as it is.
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