CarmenSandiego Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 What is your opinion--do you think it better to look for love or to go about your life, without looking for it, and let it find you instead?
tkgirl Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 What is your opinion--do you think it better to look for love or to go about your life, without looking for it, and let it find you instead? let it find me! that's when I've always found "love"... when I'm not even looking. I just sometimes have a hard time not looking!
PinkToes Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I have a theory. I call it the "Blue Dress Theory of Finding Love." If you go shopping, and you're looking for a blue dress, you'll probably come home with a blue dress. You may not be crazy about it, and you may have second thoughts the next day. And it may not fit quite right. But you're gonna find that blue dress. On the other hand, if you go shopping and you're not looking for a blue dress, you may or may not come home with one. But if you do, you can be pretty darned sure it's a dress that knocks your socks off. Same with love. If you look hard enough, you will find something. But will it fit? And will you still love it in the morning? Probably not!
littlej88 Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Let it come to you! Just do what you do and have fun! Cuz that is when you are truly yourself and i think that shows in your actions. If you try too hard that shows too, but def. for the worst. just be patient! it will come! i also really like the other posts....never really thought of the blue dress theory...very good!
Pedigree Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 With the assumption that the posters in this thread has been female thus far, I suppose if you're a woman, letting love "find you"= waiting for some guy to come up to you. But I have to ask, would that apply to men as well? With regard to the question, I've been on the "not looking" mode for around about 12 months now. It has definitely allowed me to loosen up in a way that looking around has never allowed me. But I have to say that I'm starting to worry that not looking has meant not intercepting signs of interest from girls.
627 Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 personnaly, I don't want anything to do with love it's often irrationnal and one sided(for me it has been at least) and, have you ever fallen in love with someone that is from a different planet? I once loved a girl(very beautiful, very sweet and shy ) yeah she has these nice qualities that I like, but we have nothing in common, nothing at all.needless to say that failed too so I'm not looking nor going with love, I'm going with logic and what seems to be the best and efficient choice. why hunt for headaches and wasted time and energy?
torranceshipman Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Be proactive, but don't bust a gut. I met my boyfriend (who just asked me to move in with him!) online...I used online dating as a really enjoyable, diverting thing, which basically consisted of a lot of great evenings out at nice restaurants (or museums or whatever) with charming guys (I didn't go on to date most of them, but enjoyed the evening and even made a good couple of friends). I always loved online dating and most people hate it, so I think my approach really worked! But then of course I met my boyfriend on that dating site, who is amazing, so - it was a bit of both. I was proactive enough to BE on a dating site, but I wasn't necessarily focused on looking for 'the one'.
VeveCakes Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 With the assumption that the posters in this thread has been female thus far, I suppose if you're a woman, letting love "find you"= waiting for some guy to come up to you. But I have to ask, would that apply to men as well? I don't really think that's what it means to "find you". It just means to not get pre occupied with the idea of finding someone. When you least expect it it will find you, and you may or may not have to make the first move. You will know when it comes!
Thornton Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I have a theory. I call it the "Blue Dress Theory of Finding Love." If you go shopping, and you're looking for a blue dress, you'll probably come home with a blue dress. You may not be crazy about it, and you may have second thoughts the next day. And it may not fit quite right. But you're gonna find that blue dress. On the other hand, if you go shopping and you're not looking for a blue dress, you may or may not come home with one. But if you do, you can be pretty darned sure it's a dress that knocks your socks off. Same with love. If you look hard enough, you will find something. But will it fit? And will you still love it in the morning? Probably not! I really like this! It makes a lot of sense. The problem is, that scenario doesn't suggest any urgency - you'd still be happy if you came home without a blue dress, or indeed if you never found a blue dress. The pressure to find a blue dress before the stores are all sold out is the reason why people end up buying a blue dress they're less than happy with, because it's better than having no dress at all (or even worse, a dress that someone has already worn and returned with makeup all over it). Plus you need a dress to wear, even if it isn't your ideal dress, because if you don't have a dress you can't go to the party at all - sometimes a mediocre dress is better than no dress at all
PinkToes Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I really like this! It makes a lot of sense. The problem is, that scenario doesn't suggest any urgency - you'd still be happy if you came home without a blue dress, or indeed if you never found a blue dress. The pressure to find a blue dress before the stores are all sold out is the reason why people end up buying a blue dress they're less than happy with, because it's better than having no dress at all (or even worse, a dress that someone has already worn and returned with makeup all over it). Plus you need a dress to wear, even if it isn't your ideal dress, because if you don't have a dress you can't go to the party at all - sometimes a mediocre dress is better than no dress at all Absolutely! The degree of urgency can definitely affect what you come home with, and we all have to make that decision. In my case, I'd rather have the right dress than just grabbing the closest one to the door while they're turning out the lights. But that's just me. I'm not looking for perfect, just a good fit for me. And I know there's a chance I will never find it, and I'm OK with that. When I was very young, my mom told me that 'anyone can get married anytime they want to... if they set their sights low enough.' And that was a very liberating thing to hear, because it made it OK to live my life without carrying the idea of looking for a husband in the back of my head all the time.
Sam Spade Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I really like this! It makes a lot of sense. The problem is, that scenario doesn't suggest any urgency - you'd still be happy if you came home without a blue dress, or indeed if you never found a blue dress. The pressure to find a blue dress before the stores are all sold out is the reason why people end up buying a blue dress they're less than happy with, because it's better than having no dress at all (or even worse, a dress that someone has already worn and returned with makeup all over it). Plus you need a dress to wear, even if it isn't your ideal dress, because if you don't have a dress you can't go to the party at all - sometimes a mediocre dress is better than no dress at all also, it is better to end up with a so-so timeless blue dress, rather than with an incredibly tacky impulse purchase (that seemed like a good idea at the time, of course).
spookie Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I don't want to go to that party that much anyway. If it's the wrong blue dress, I probably will end up wishing I didn't come.
Sam Spade Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I don't want to go to that party that much anyway. If it's the wrong blue dress, I probably will end up wishing I didn't come. haha! I don't want to go to the party that much either! So I figure a basic blue dress (or in my case - poly/wool blazer) is good enough to look presentable and just be done with it :lmao:!
PinkToes Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Although it is kind of fun to check out all the other blue dresses at the party, and speculate on what was she thinking???
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 The two great loves of my life just "happened." I was not actively looking for anyone.
carhill Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 I can stare at the infernal phone for days and it never rings. I can forget I even have one. Same thing. Funny thing is, I pick it up and push a few buttons and find a human. Such is one man's perspective on love. For 50 years, so far, love (I'm assuming mutually expressed romantic love) has never found me. It has always had to be sought. I gave the 'find me' experiment years, perhaps a decade or more, and finally had to end it or go insane. Thanks for asking
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