sedgwick Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Heh, that's what I'm calling him -- Crush Guy. So, I've had a rough week -- had a terrible flu Sun/Mon/Tues, then a root canal yesterday! Crush Guy has contacted me every day. We're still operating under this pretense of "drum lessons." When he leaves me messages, they say things like, "Want to meet up for a lesson today?" The truth is that I can't really afford lessons right now and would like to just hang out with him. This afternoon, while I was knocked out on post-root-canal painkillers, he sent me a text, and I didn't wake up and see it until four hours later. So I wrote him back saying this: "I just got this! Ack, we're not doing so well, huh? Maybe we should meet up for coffee in the city and discuss it...it would be nice to just hang out!" Well, that was four hours ago and I haven't heard back, and now I'm freaked out that he realized I liked him and is ignoring me because he's not interested. Yes, I know it's only been four hours and I'm being silly, but still, I feel like I opened up too much or said the wrong thing. If he was texting/emailing/calling for four days, it wasn't really all about drum lessons, was it? He sent me one email just to see how I was feeling. Please give me your opinions! I would really appreciate them!
crazy_grl Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 No, it doesn't sound like his only interest is drum lessons. He wouldn't have contacted you 4 days in a row if he wasn't interested in you (well, he might have, but the content would be something like "I need money. Please tell me when you want a lesson so I can afford to eat.") What you texted is fine. Just relax and be patient.
Author sedgwick Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 Weeeelll...no response. So perhaps I was wrong about it all, and he wasn't flirting, and now I've scared him off. Even so, I took a chance and asked him for coffee, which is a major step for me. Someday I'll get it right!
crazy_grl Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Eh, who knows why he didn't answer. You didn't do anything wrong though. If he really liked you, an invitation for coffee wouldn't have scared him off. Maybe has has a gf he never told you about or something. *shrug* Can't win 'em all. On to the next.
boogieboy Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Asking for coffee is not a major step when it concerns someone who likes you. If they like you, they wont get scared off. He didnt like you, no reason to freak out. You cant do anything wrong when they like you enough, you cant adjust your behavior with the little things when interacting with someone. You didnt do anything wrong.
PinkToes Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I'd give it time, I think, before drawing any conclusions. But I would like to say that I'm really happy for you, that you're at this stage in your journey!
melodymatters Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Yeah, NO ONE is going to stay in that much tough for some drum lesson cash ! He def sounds interested. Relax, your text was totally friendly, easy going and not desperate sounding ! I'm betting you'll hear back from him ! Regardless, I SO agree, this is GREAT that you are no lonegr beating yourself up over some emotionally crippled banjo playing shmuck !
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Weeeelll...no response. So perhaps I was wrong about it all, and he wasn't flirting, and now I've scared him off. Even so, I took a chance and asked him for coffee, which is a major step for me. Someday I'll get it right! Whoa. You didn't even say anything "scary," Sedgwick. Just hang in there. There are all kinds of reasons to have not gotten a response by now. I find texting to be really unreliable and I HAVE heard of the things getting lost (although, if it's a consistent excuse, then I know it's BS). I was actually having a back-and-forth texting conversation with this guy the other day and one of his texts didn't come through until 4 hours later even though ALL the others came through just fine. The guy could also be busy. His phone could be dead. Etc. Etc. Etc. Don't be so quick to think he's ignoring you.
crazy_grl Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 Whoa. You didn't even say anything "scary," Sedgwick. Just hang in there. There are all kinds of reasons to have not gotten a response by now. I find texting to be really unreliable and I HAVE heard of the things getting lost (although, if it's a consistent excuse, then I know it's BS). I was actually having a back-and-forth texting conversation with this guy the other day and one of his texts didn't come through until 4 hours later even though ALL the others came through just fine. The guy could also be busy. His phone could be dead. Etc. Etc. Etc. Don't be so quick to think he's ignoring you. This is a legitimate point. On my phone, if my inbox gets full, it doesn't notify me. I've missed days' worth of messages before I realized it was full and deleted some so the new ones could come in.
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