betamanlet Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 women that like to dance. They'll say it's something they enjoy, so if you ask them why they have to do it at clubs, and cannot just turn on music at home and dance, they say it's just not the same. Why is it not the same? Because you don't get attention dancing at home. Attentionseekers are inherently unfaithful and make for horrible relationships.
Kamille Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 bitter jaded judgemental people also make for horrible relationships.
Author betamanlet Posted November 12, 2009 Author Posted November 12, 2009 bitter jaded judgemental people also make for horrible relationships. So one is jaded if they don't want to get cheated on?
seibert253 Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Humans are social creatures. We enjoy interacting with others. Dancing at clubs is just one form of interaction. May or may not have anything to do with attention seeking. Some do it for attention, others do not. Even with those who go to clubs to dance, if they are in a commited relationship, and are commited to that relationship, they know and respect boundries. If someone is going to cheat, it has little to do with environment. It has more to do with a lack of morality and respect. If they want to screw around, they will find a way, no matter where they are.
carhill Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 My mom and dad used to dance in front of the fireplace to Bing Crosby music. IMO, it's what people do when others aren't looking which defines them. OP, IMO, going to clubs isn't about 'dancing', rather socializing. Seeing and being seen. This is how some people validate their ego. I 'danced' at the racetrack, being seen in a speeding car and socializing in the pits. Everyone is different. I wouldn't see dancing or clubbing as a red flag unless I observed behavior which disrespected the primary relationship's priority. If there is no primary relationship, hey, all's fair and have a good time
Northwesthunny Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 i love the attention i get - as do most woman whether they admit it or not but i resent your statement - i have NEVER and will NEVER cheat!!! Just because somebody likes to dance in a club or whatever does not mean that they will cheat!
Malenfant Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 i love to dance in clubs, and not in a grinding, sexy type way. its because i feel the music. also, the atmosphere in clubs is totally different, so I do prefer to dance in clubs (although i must admit i do also dance in my living room ) but i actually dont like male attention when i'm dancing. I like rave clubs because generally people there are just there for the music and to dance. as soon as a man starts trying to move in behind me or even just starts giving me lecherous looks, i loose my desire for the dance and sit down, or just move away to another part of the dancefloor. Normal mainstream clubs are like meat markets, and i must admit i do know what you mean as I do see lots of women on the dancefloor who are obviously after attention. I'm just saying not all women dance for attention.
carhill Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 A great test would be, for a woman who enjoys clubbing and the attention received, whether she would enjoy her man receiving similar attention from other women whilst out clubbing and dancing. As most of my 'couple' friends go 'out' together, this is easy to quantify. IME, generally, the answer is yes. Enjoy
Author betamanlet Posted November 12, 2009 Author Posted November 12, 2009 i love to dance in clubs, and not in a grinding, sexy type way. its because i feel the music. also, the atmosphere in clubs is totally different, so I do prefer to dance in clubs (although i must admit i do also dance in my living room ) but i actually dont like male attention when i'm dancing. I like rave clubs because generally people there are just there for the music and to dance. as soon as a man starts trying to move in behind me or even just starts giving me lecherous looks, i loose my desire for the dance and sit down, or just move away to another part of the dancefloor. Normal mainstream clubs are like meat markets, and i must admit i do know what you mean as I do see lots of women on the dancefloor who are obviously after attention. I'm just saying not all women dance for attention. i agree with your comments about raves. people at those were there just to enjoy the music, get high, and dance, and not for attention... I'm saying the ones who only would dance in clubs, and if you said "if you love dancing why does it have to be in a club?" and they respond "it's just not the same" are the ones who are there for attention, and that's my red flag.
carhill Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 OP, women like feelings, and attention from others is a powerful one. You won't make much headway here, I'm afraid. You're hearing some assert that enjoying attention and cheating can be mutually exclusive and I have to agree. Trust is very important in a relationship, as is freedom. I hope you find some middle ground.
Tayla Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 in an odd and perculiar way I do get the concept of Clubs and the meat market idea. People are varied though so it could be true that some are there for the music. Since I am way to outgrown for that scene, music and tempo have moved me to dance in the street, strolling down the grocery aisle , but I learned, who cares? And if so, so be it. Life is way to short to allow a peers opinion to override the joy of dancing. So long as its not of the inappropriate nature. Since the question was overgeneralized and lacked proof that "All ladies/men that go to these places are cheaters" I refrain from jumping into that mentality.
stillafool Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 women that like to dance. They'll say it's something they enjoy, so if you ask them why they have to do it at clubs, and cannot just turn on music at home and dance, they say it's just not the same. Why is it not the same? Because you don't get attention dancing at home. Attentionseekers are inherently unfaithful and make for horrible relationships. Did you ever think that they club has a better sound system than the old cd player that most people have in their homes. There is nothing wrong with a young woman wanting to go out and dance. If it bothers you so much why do you go out to clubs?
Ody Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 women that like to dance. They'll say it's something they enjoy, so if you ask them why they have to do it at clubs, and cannot just turn on music at home and dance, they say it's just not the same. Why is it not the same? Because you don't get attention dancing at home. Attentionseekers are inherently unfaithful and make for horrible relationships. Your infidelity notion is a red herring. Isn't the horrible taste in music implied by clubbing enough of a red flag by itself?
samspade Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Women want to go out and have fun. If you don't like "club" chicks, i.e. women that go to American-style clubs and dance like sluuts, that is one thing. You will be very hard pressed to find a woman who does not like to go out and dance, however. Why do you want to dance at home instead - to keep the alphas away from your girl? Work on your game. I recommend you take some latin dance lessons so you can be the man and have the confidence to lead on the dance floor.
Author betamanlet Posted November 12, 2009 Author Posted November 12, 2009 Did you ever think that they club has a better sound system than the old cd player that most people have in their homes. There is nothing wrong with a young woman wanting to go out and dance. If it bothers you so much why do you go out to clubs? Yup, they go to clubs for the better sound quality :lol:
Author betamanlet Posted November 12, 2009 Author Posted November 12, 2009 Women want to go out and have fun. If you don't like "club" chicks, i.e. women that go to American-style clubs and dance like sluuts, that is one thing. You will be very hard pressed to find a woman who does not like to go out and dance, however. Why do you want to dance at home instead - to keep the alphas away from your girl? Work on your game. I recommend you take some latin dance lessons so you can be the man and have the confidence to lead on the dance floor. To me, dancing is a sign of immaturity. People look like idiots whent hey dance, there's no purpose to it other than showing off and attention... It's a very childish activity, but with adults, that means it's hypersexualized... Why if you dance because you enjoy dancing, does it HAVE to be in the presence of people if it's not about attention?
Author betamanlet Posted November 12, 2009 Author Posted November 12, 2009 I don't go to clubs. It's just a red flag for me, if a woman says she "likes to dance" it raises a red flag. I haven't been to a club for probably 13 years. I hated them when I was 21 and I hate them more that I'm 34.
espec10001 Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 If you don't like club chicks then don't date them. There are plenty of chicks out there that don't do the club scene. Problem solved.
samspade Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 To me, dancing is a sign of immaturity. People look like idiots whent hey dance, there's no purpose to it other than showing off and attention... It's a very childish activity, but with adults, that means it's hypersexualized... Why if you dance because you enjoy dancing, does it HAVE to be in the presence of people if it's not about attention? Well, you're certainly standing athwart of tens of thousands of years of human culture. I guess you'd get along well with Islamofascists or 17th century Puritans. If it's not your cup of tea, that's fine. You can probably find at least one woman who shares your view if you look in the right places. It's true, dancing has been described as a vertical expression of a horizontal act. And in many clubs, Americans who really DON'T know how to dance simply engage in sexualized motions. But dancing has always been, among other things a preamble to sex. More specifically, it's traditionally been a part of courtship, with no guarantee of sex. It also serves other purposes - it's communal, it burns calories, it's compelling to watch, and, most importantly, it's fun. I don't recommend you use a nightclub as a venue for meeting women, unless you're interested only in sex. But you're going to have a hard time finding a woman who doesn't want you to take her out dancing.
A O Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Because you don't get attention dancing at home. At a basic, core level - women need to feel desired and men desire. We feed off each other, its the mating dance of life. We'd all be stuffed without this. Attentionseekers are inherently unfaithful and make for horrible relationships. That's a shocker. .
carhill Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 But you're going to have a hard time finding a woman who doesn't want you to take her out dancing. True dat, even for women like my stbx, who openly admits she has two left feet. They love the environment; the stimulation. I think going to a professional dancing school will be on my to-do list going forward. That and learning another language are good challenges, methinks. I think the time is right to end carhill klutzomania on the dance floor
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