DustySaltus Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 (edited) I have 3 women that I have gone out on 3rd dates with. I do like all of them but it's too early to tell if I see anything further with any one of them. I have just recently started to get back out there after a broken engagement so i'm in no hurry. The problem is that I think all three of them are looking for something more. I have not told any of them about my broekn engagement thinking it was too early to even bring that up and it might scare them away. I feel like I need more time to see if there is anything more with these women and then make a decision on which one (if any) to move forward with. I'm not trying to be a player or pimp by any strecth, I think i just got caught up in a perfect storm. Any comments as always are appreciated. Edited November 12, 2009 by DustySaltus
sally4sara Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 I have 3 women that I have gone out on 3rd dates with. I do like all of them but it's too early to tell if I see anything further with any one of them. I have just recently started to get back out there after a broken engagement so i'm in no hurry. The problem is that I think all three of them are looking for something more. I have not told any of them about my broekn engagement thinking it was too early to even bring that up and it might scare them away. I feel like I need more time to see if there is anything more with these women and then make a decision on which one (if any) to move forward with. I'm not trying to be a player or pimp by any strecth, I think i just got caught up in a perfect storm. Any comments as always are appreciated. Being up front about everything you've said here is a great way to see which of them jump ship easy and let you know if any might be able to remain calm and take it slow. Nothing wrong with multi dating if you're being honest with them. If you can't be honest with them because you don't want to ruin the options you've netted, you are robbing them of knowing whether or not YOU are right for them too. They may not want to date a multi dater and that would indicated a lack of compatibility your wait and see style is preventing from happening. I'm not sure why you would want to hamstring yourself (and them) in this manner. Unless you're sleeping with all three and don't want to give that up......
Ody Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 I have 3 women that I have gone out on 3rd dates with. I do like all of them but it's too early to tell if I see anything further with any one of them. I have just recently started to get back out there after a broken engagement so i'm in no hurry. The problem is that I think all three of them are looking for something more. I have not told any of them about my broekn engagement thinking it was too early to even bring that up and it might scare them away. I feel like I need more time to see if there is anything more with these women and then make a decision on which one (if any) to move forward with. I'm not trying to be a player or pimp by any strecth, I think i just got caught up in a perfect storm. Any comments as always are appreciated. 3 dates isn't nearly long enough for a reasonable person to expect complete emotional disclosure. I think you are doing a healthy thing, trying to meet people and not rushing into anything after a breakup. Also why would you tell them this? What good could come of that? If you really fall for one of these women, of course consider being more open then. You state that you think they are looking for something more - but what are you looking for? And if you're not sure - well then I'd definitely keep my mouth shut about the engagement if I were you.
samspade Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Just enjoy the ride. Don't worry about outcomes.
Author DustySaltus Posted November 12, 2009 Author Posted November 12, 2009 3 dates isn't nearly long enough for a reasonable person to expect complete emotional disclosure. I think you are doing a healthy thing, trying to meet people and not rushing into anything after a breakup. Also why would you tell them this? What good could come of that? If you really fall for one of these women, of course consider being more open then. You state that you think they are looking for something more - but what are you looking for? And if you're not sure - well then I'd definitely keep my mouth shut about the engagement if I were you. I have a clear idea of what type of person I am looking for but I am also being very cautious. I just try and be myself when I go out and obviously that is attracting people. I go out with no expectations, they feel comfortable around me and then it goes from there....
Ody Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 I have a clear idea of what type of person I am looking for but I am also being very cautious. I just try and be myself when I go out and obviously that is attracting people. I go out with no expectations, they feel comfortable around me and then it goes from there.... I really think your attitude is healthy and don't actually have a problem, at least not that I can tell! Don't worry about being labeled as a player or pimp. That's usually just a BS label and just as stupid as "slut" or "ho" is for women. Sure it applies to guys who are abusive or pathological liars but you seem like neither. People who seriously toss around that label usually have issues. Enjoy your good fortune, don't worry about getting labeled, and keep healing from your engagement breakup.
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