Nervous around guys!

[cutieh]

I don't know what it is, but I'm usually nervous around men that I first meet. I don't want to call them not to seem desperate. I act really hard core around them like I only talk to them when they talk to me. I get scared to look at them in the eyes. When they stare ate me I try not to look at them cause I'm nervous of the silence. What you think? How do I stop being this way?

[jaymack]

You are what you are, be yourself and you'll meet the right guy for you!

[Aveenolover]

Thats like exactly how i am lol. I think im gonna try to get out more and just talk to people and FORCE myself to look them in the eyes more. I'm not sure...but i know that it sucks lol.

[Kamille]

Great question Cutieh!

 

Try switching your perspective: don't think of guys as potential dates, think of them as potential buddies.

 

I used to be shy around guys because I always wondered if they liked me or not. I eventually realized I was shooting myself in the foot by doing that. I also realized not every guy was going to be into me but that most guys did like making new friends. Basically, "getting guys to be into me" is no longer the criteria I use to get to know someone. Paradoxically, since the switch, a lot more guys have started hitting on me, probably because I seem approachable.

 

Now, when I meet a new guy, I focus on getting to know the person as a potential friend first. Act with him the same way you would act with anyone else you were just getting to know. Be yourself, ask questions, joke around. Don't feel the need to entertain. Getting to know someone takes time.

 

Eventually, when you're comfortable just getting to know guys, you'll be comfortable learning how to flirt with the ones you think are cute.

 

Another rule: while I have crushes on plenty of guys (some of them posters on here ), I never consider them "interest" material until they have asked me out or shown interest. Again, it's part of not sweating the small stuff.