One Word: Creepy.

[boogieboy]

This KILLS me...

 

Do you think its real nice to hand out your email address and give the guy false hopes when you know for certain you wouldnt even reply to his email? He's just going to wonder why you werent honest to start with.

 

Men really dont mind honesty. What we do mind is being led on and given phone numbers and emails from women who have no intention of actually responding to either.

 

You werent trying to be nice, you were just trying to LOOK nice until he went away, because you couldnt be honest.

 

What you did was also cruel, but you dont want to look at it, its much easier to blame it all on men.

 

Let me clear this up: NO MAN is going to think youre 'nice' for giving him a number/email that you have no intention of responding to. Its NOT nice.

 

What you did was further perpetuate everything that men hate about dating, so congrats! Here is one more guy thats going to hate the world because a girl couldnt just be honest with him.

 

Well shes like many other women who dont want to feel guilty or admit that they are being cruel... they dont care that not all guys can detect when she isnt interested. They dont want to help him learn, they dont care about honesty in this situation, and like you said, just want to look nice, not actually BE nice or honest. It is a shame that a grown woman does this.

 

I wonder what would happen if women like this came to terms with the fact they are actually being cruel by not being honest.

[Phateless]

Try as he might, If it bugged you so much, why didnt you stop him from bugging you after you noticed he had a cell phone? or after the 6th time you got shivers from what he was saying?

If youre too chicken to tell him to scram, you shouldnt be complaining about letting guys creep you out.

 

Agreed. You had every opportunity to say, "I'm sorry but I'm in kind of a rush. It was nice meeting you." Interrupt him if you have to.

 

And then you turn around and walk away. It's not rude, but it is very clear.

[SoulSearch_CO]

God, I feel bad for guys. They have it so rough. You keep hearing that women want confident, straight-forward men, "Why can't they just talk to me?" women ask. Finally a man finds the balls to do so and he's labeled a creep. I get the feeling if you had been attracted to him, you wouldn't have been creeped out, DW. But that's JMO. I give the guy points for being ballsy.

[D-Lish]

Creepy is a feeling that you don't have control over. If someone gives you the creeps- it's an instinct you should trust.

 

I've had that feeling about someone trying to chat me up- and when that happens I will normally say politely "I have to get going" and beat it. I don't stick around.

 

You can't help your response to someone. Had I been in your shoes, I would have excused myself earlier and not given him my e-mail address...

[DanielMadr]

You dont get it.

OP got approached! CONGRATS.

And she rejected him! CONGRATS.

It means she is desirable (hot) and not desperate....it means she gets approached a lot wich means she is even more hot.

 

She can't draw him as creepy, it would loose its magic. Approaches from creeps dont give you any hot points.

 

So she draws him in a good colours, thats why you can't see anything creepy.

 

You should write: Yeah, it is really tough these days for hot girls, at least you get approached by normal men, I envy you. And I'm not wondering why you are still single...you are too good for those creeps - all good men are just exctinct.

[b52s]

I was simply saying that his approach was creepy.

Um....well, if you want to split hairs....I still disagree....um....his approach was NOT creepy.

 

Now, what's your response? :laugh:

 

I've done the same approach myself actually. I've asked the time to a woman, even when I had a watch on...and I'm sure other men have done this as well.

 

Now, if you had been in the femine hygene area of a grocery store, and he approached you and said, "hey, cool....you getting the one with wings, I've seen the commercial, it gives a pretty diagram on how it works, I wonder why they use the blue liquid instead of red? Blue isn't a representative color of what it's suppose to be right? Weird.....so...wanna go out?"

 

See, now THAT would've been not only a creepy approach, but possibly the guy could be creepy too.

Edited November 14, 2009 by b52s

[gfto]

It is creepy indeed, but he sounds like a "nice guy" who is desperate and just doesn't have a clue how to make a move.

[b52s]

It is creepy indeed, but he sounds like a "nice guy" who is desperate and just doesn't have a clue how to make a move.

 

There's no real right or wrong way he's done this.

[Ross PK]

I would've taken it as really creepy, most people would.

 

It sounds as though he has no social skills, and maybe really desperate at the same time.

[Phateless]

He's just awkward and he creeped her out because he doesn't have a clue. YET.

 

I admire him for trying. After doing enough approaches like this he'll develop some social intuition and start to figure things out.

 

I maintain, however, what I said earlier. If you're not interested, just politely excuse yourself and walk away. Easy.

[Left in a Lurch]

Why not just tell us what you want us to ask, how and when we should ask it, and under what circumstances?

 

We are not mind readers, and since we have the burden of starting the conversation with a total stranger and impressing them without knowing what impresses them, we may end up hitting on someone who does not consider us Mr. Right. It doesn't make us creepy. It makes us men seeking a woman.

 

What's creepy is leading a guy on because you are not woman enough to tell him honestly you are not interested.

[dreamergrl]

Because I couldn't. I'm too nice, to publicly reject or humiliate someone like that. And, IF I did stop him in his tracks, it would have made for a very awkward and silent 15 minutes. (He and I were stuck in the same location).

 

If you were 'too nice' you wouldn't have led him on. I hate when people do this.

 

I never labelled him as creepy. You should re-read my post. There is, obviously, a bit of a misunderstanding here. I was simply saying that his approach was creepy. As a matter as fact, I thought and still think, he's a nice and kind man. On that day, I didn't have the greatest conversation with him, mainly because I wasn't in a pleasant mood (difficult time in my life, personal and private matters).

 

So was his approach creepy to you, or were you just being pissy that day?

 

Untrue. Whether he is attractive or not, it doesn't take away from the approach, his deliverance. IF an attractive guy (hypothetically) would have done the same, I would have interpreted it as creepy (approach/deliverance et al).

 

You are assuming; the worst assumption. How do you know that I must fall in the "Immature Woman" category? This is ridiculous.

 

Well I don't find that a mature woman would let this guy believe he could email you and you'd respond. I don't find it mature when guys do the same.

 

I didn't, in any shape or form, belittle or insult the man. Rather, I had a great conversation with him (something I didn't go much in detail in my original post due to length).

 

Well you led him to believe you want him to contact you. I find that insulting.

 

 

I enjoyed talking to him, for those 10 or 15 minutes. In the end though, I didn't feel an attraction nor did I feel as though my personality complimented his (personality). Does this make me "Immature" or "Horrible"? No. (At least I HOPE NOT).

 

Yet it seemed to have been a good enough reason to label him as creepy... or his approach. Which, if you found his approach creepy, why did you enjoy talking to him?

 

It is particularly sad to see, men labeling me as a "Cold-less" and "Heart-less" woman for not being genuine enough towards this man or mature enough to let him go, while they themselves (men) degrade, insult and harshly reject women all the time. You, men, do it for the simplest reasons: Too fat, too tall, too ugly, etc. I say that is, cruel.

 

Seriously, letting someone think they have a chance when they don't is cruel. It is deceptive. Male or female. Just because SOME men do it, doesn't make it okay for SOME women to do it.

 

People are allowed to have their preferences as well. That doesn't make them cruel, that makes them human.

 

Next time, don't harshly criticize someone, especially on a public forum, based on a small exempt of a situation, knowing full well that you don't know that person.

 

In the end, I'm much more cautious and aware now of how men handle themselves during courtships and in the dating scene.

 

I hope so!

[EcstasyX6]

I disagree with everyone here. Where do you live? I grew up in a big city,

(not that, that matters), but if your gut as a female is telling you that a guy's approach is creepy, follow that instinct. Where were you during this exchange? This is how women get lured off somewhere by being nice. You don't owe some guy who approaches you anything.(Sorry guys, but women have to be more careful).

 

I've been approached in the same way, and if I sensed that something isn't right about the guy, I could be looking at a map, and I'll say, I don't know where something is, and keep walking fast. Maybe he was perfectly ok, but I'd rather be wrong, than take a chance with a potential weirdo.

 

It really depends on the guys affect, and not whether he's handsome or cool. I didn't like the whole run on question thing with the cell phone in hand. However, I wasn't there...