Clep Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 I posted before about my bf's friends. Out of all of them there are two that my bf is allowing to cause quite the bit of havoc. His one friend hit me in the head with a water bottle. I posted about that on here. Later the bf tells me the friend wouldn't have done that if he wasn't antagonized somehow by me, but also that there was no excuse for it to begin with. He tried to phone the friend a couple of days later but the friend will not speak with him. I was upset that he would phone the friend at all, but the bf says that my relationships are up to me and he is no part of it. The other friend is pissed with me. His woman is too. They have been spreading much gossip about me, my guy and anyone else they can. I backed off from them as I head this often and wondered when I would be the target of their malicious gossip. When they gossip about my bf I simply tell them I don't want to hear it. My bf listens to their gossip and then questions me about it to get the truth. He and I were out and these "friends" of his started again. Another friend started dropping hints about the gossip to me. My bf was kind of cool with them, then started talking with them, then bought them a round of drinks and was in a circle with them while I was on the outside. I left and went home. My bf says terrible things about both of these people yet is friendly to their faces. I just can't overlook this. My bf stayed out with them after I left and has not said a word to me about the situation at all. He didn't ask me anything. I have learned not to try to talk with him about it as he views me as the antagonizer. I am saddened and shocked by my bf's lack of charachter and values. I guess it is easier to find out sooner than later. I am ready to leave him. Would you leave him, or am I overreacting?
traderho Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 So you went out with your BF and friends and just left and went home without saying a word to him? Then he does not call or ask why you left? I don't think you have much of a relationship left and he is obviously choosing his friends over you. IMO the relationship is past its due date and its better to leave now then drag it out any longer.
Author Clep Posted November 11, 2009 Author Posted November 11, 2009 So you went out with your BF and friends and just left and went home without saying a word to him? Then he does not call or ask why you left? I don't think you have much of a relationship left and he is obviously choosing his friends over you. IMO the relationship is past its due date and its better to leave now then drag it out any longer. Ya I just went home. I was so sickened by him being so two faced and having no loyalty towards me. I probably should have said goodbye to him, well I know I should have. No he didn't call, ask me why I left or say anything. I did message him about a half hour after I left with my bb messenger, but he didn't read that till the morning. I feel he is choosing his friends over me. What is more upsetting to me is his lack of charachter.
Johnny M Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 I am ready to leave him. Would you leave him, or am I overreacting? No, you're not over-reacting. Your BF's group of 'friends' sounds like a bunch of nasty, vindictive people and you don't want to stew in that unhealthy environment.
traderho Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Ya I just went home. I was so sickened by him being so two faced and having no loyalty towards me. I probably should have said goodbye to him, well I know I should have. No he didn't call, ask me why I left or say anything. I did message him about a half hour after I left with my bb messenger, but he didn't read that till the morning. I feel he is choosing his friends over me. What is more upsetting to me is his lack of charachter. The fact that he did not even bother to call or check up on you when you left (regardless if you said goodbye or not) speaks volumes about his character and your relationship. You need to find a man who has a lot more loyalty and way less drama loving friends. From the looks of you I don't think you will have much trouble finding someone new!
Author Clep Posted November 11, 2009 Author Posted November 11, 2009 The fact that he did not even bother to call or check up on you when you left (regardless if you said goodbye or not) speaks volumes about his character and your relationship. You need to find a man who has a lot more loyalty and way less drama loving friends. From the looks of you I don't think you will have much trouble finding someone new! Ya I think so too. He did share with my girlfriend he knew I went home before I even sent him the message. She called me to find out why. Loyalty is huge. I thought he was great, until the last month or so when this started with his friends. Drama. I guess thats what I get from a guy who thinks desperate housewives is one of the best shows on tv. haha. I am jumping off the roller coaster. Thanks for the advice. Think I will stay alone for a while.
SadandConfusedWA Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 You know, he probably talks s4it about you behind your back to his friends. That's what people with character traits like his do.
Author Clep Posted November 12, 2009 Author Posted November 12, 2009 You know, he probably talks s4it about you behind your back to his friends. That's what people with character traits like his do. Oh yes. I have brought that up to him already. Hi didn't like it much but I said it anyways.
Author Clep Posted November 12, 2009 Author Posted November 12, 2009 Well I talked to him tonight and that didn't go over very well. The guy that is persisting in attacking me in a covert agressive way owes my guy about ten grand. Of course he was dishonest in some business dealings they had and that is how the money became an issue. My bf says that he has to be nice to him to get his money out of him. I don't value money above relationships and I guess that's the reason I don't have much. He has let me know that he is not going to let go of the money he has busted his ass for to make me happy. I did let him know he doesn't have to do anything. It is just that our value systems don't match very well. It is impossible to have a long term healthy relationship in my opinion with value systems that differ so much. It is not about making him do what I want, but recognizing that we are just very different. I let him know I cannot have these type of people in my life and was about to say to him that he is one of them, but he walked out. He then called me to talk about it, or convince me that his point of view is the correct one I believe. We discussed it and he started yelling at me. I told him if he needed some time to calm down I can respect that, but I will not accept him yelling at me. Later on he started yelling so loud that I couldn't even understand what he was saying. I hung up and messsaged to him that he needs to discuss things with me in a rational way. I have heard nothing since. He also let me know I am the problem because I let his friend get to me. He says he only bought them drinks as they bought him some and he didn't want to owe the friend, as the friend always says he buys us drinks all the time. God I feel like I am in the middle of a soap opera. I would just like to text him to tell him to take a hike, but I should at least tell him on the phone or in person. He usually takes a couple of days to calm down and I don't want to wait that long to get rid of him. Is texting okay u think? I know he won't pick up the phone.
SadandConfusedWA Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Oh yes. I have brought that up to him already. Hi didn't like it much but I said it anyways. I dated a guy like your bf once. At first he seemed great, but then I noticed he would start to say nasty things about his friends to me behind their back. I thought it meant that he trusted me and we are bonding and all was well. Then, I noticed when he would hang out with those friends he was extremely friendly with them. All buddy-buddy, hugs, laughs, bought them drinks etc. This just didn't sit right with me. Why say nasty stuff about them to me if you like them so much? WTF? Two faced to the max. Not only that, he would ignore me in front of these friends. We ended up breaking up for various reasons, and I became friendly with one of the guys from his group. Purely platonic. Anyway this guy told me how my ex bf used to bag me all the time with them all (this was when we were still together). Ex bf told them that I was a bad kisser, clingy, had too many sexual partners in the past and could also stand to lose some weight. He also said many other nasty things but my new friend didn't want to hurt my feelings so he refused to repeat them. Guys like that are just
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