MUST get her back

[johno1]

I hate to be one of those first post, first question guys, but I'm totally frantic.

Last monday, my girlfriend of almost one year broke up with me. This was the first time I was truly in love, and it literally feels like I've been hit by a train. The physical pain alone is surprising. Please, any help would be greatly appreciated.

 

Here's some backstory:

We were totally in love. Everything was awesome, but a week and a half ago we had an argument. It started off by me telling her she was self-centered, and then moved to our future. I told her that if she was going away to do internships, and live in other countries that it wasn't really feasible for me to be there for her, and that I couldn't follow her because I have aspirations of my own. At the end of the argument, I gave her a hug and told her we would find a way to make it work because we love each other.

 

Well, after a weekend home from my family - the first one in about 3 weeks due to spending time with her, I get back to school and she dumps me. She told me that she was thinking about what we talked about, her mom gave her the 'dont let anyone hold you back' speech, and, to top it off, her sister's fiancee cheated on her because they've been apart (Marines).

 

I suppose that basically she doesn't think we'll ever end up together, and if we do - something like what happened to her sister would happen to us.

 

The thing is, she told me how much she loved me 2 days before hand - and I can still hear the words in my head. I just don't see how you can fall out of love in a night or two.

 

My rationalization is that she still loves me, and if I tell her I would support her 100%, then she might change her mind. I've been doing thinking also, and because I'm such a people oriented person, I'd follow her wherever I needed to, and support her even if she wanted to spend a summer in Germany.

 

The thing is, she won't let me speak to her. How can I tell her this without having to ambush her after one of our 3 classes together?

 

Please help, I've been sobbing like a baby the past 40 hours or so

[Bejita463]

Well, for starters you should probably give her some room if there's to be much chance of her changing her mind. Clinging is not attractive unless it is clothing that is doing it.

 

Beyond that though, if you try to think about it with logic instead of emotion you'd see something that might change your perspective on what you want a bit. Do you realize that she reevaluated her priorities in life and determined you aren't one of them?

 

It is a realistic outlook to have, depending on why she decided it. She has to make sure her life is in order, and no matter how she feels about you, that preparation may not be able to include you. You brought that up, and you were right.

[BG1985]

Dude, you can fall out of love in five minutes. There's also a chance she's been feeling this way for a while, but she was trying to make it work and therefore appeared as though she still loved you. Basically by telling her she was self-centered just because she was doing an internship elsewhere, you come off as being a controlling jerk, which is very unattractive. If she's broken up with you and has severed all contact with you, it's not looking promising as to whether the two of you will get back together. You should avoid contacting her and try to move on. I know, this sucks and it isn't easy.