Rudderless Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Just as I thought. It's not the facts speaking to you it's 'the voices'. Anyway back to the OP, who cares? The whole salsa thing was probably not to do with salsa anyway, she just probably doesn't like the guy that much. Not sure about this whole 40+ not married stuff either, might have had a 10 year relationship or something. Since when was marriage the endgame for everyone? Feels like the bible belt on this thread.
DanielMadr Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Poor guy?! She did him a favor. What benefit would there be in trying to be with her if that's how she is? She knows what she wants, and it's not him. The way I see it, she just wants a guy to be her dance partner, and she doesn't need anything else from him. This isn't her rational choice, it's how her heart works. That's not going to change. So what guy in his right mind who doesn't see himself as a dancing machine would want to be with her? Johan, I love your avatar and I love your posts. Bullseye as always.
Johnny M Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Anyway back to the OP, who cares? The whole salsa thing was probably not to do with salsa anyway, she just probably doesn't like the guy that much. Not sure about this whole 40+ not married stuff either, might have had a 10 year relationship or something. Since when was marriage the endgame for everyone? Feels like the bible belt on this thread. When you're 60, alone, no children or grandchildren, and looking back at your life, you will understand.
justforfun Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 When you're 60, alone, no children or grandchildren, and looking back at your life, you will understand. 60 is when we look back at our life? How about if we are too busy living our life? Is 60 that old to you...how old are you? No children or grandchildren? Why do you presume that this is the goal of every woman? Or could we possibly go out on a limb and suggest that a woman can live a fulfilling life without the things that you think she should need to have lasting happiness. Face it, some people don't want that. Get over it and yourself.
Rudderless Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 When you're 60, alone, no children or grandchildren, and looking back at your life, you will understand. You're talking about a hypothetical point in time that won't happen. Anyone that posts caustic messages on an internet forum day in day out is deeply unhappy at this precise moment in time - something you definitely don't appear to understand.
torranceshipman Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 This is a weird one - I used to dance salsa a lot and had a lot of extremely proficient south american salsa dancing friends. They'd tell me the most important thing was the passion, and who cares if a few steps went wrong. And I tell you something, I had some amazing nights out dancing! Very physical, passionate...(these were friends btw-one boyfriend). Then I remember one time, dancing with an American guy who took loads of lessons and thought he was God's gift to salsa dancing: now, technically he was very good, but that's all he had - technicality. No passion, and it was miserable, plus he kept picking me up on technical points. Annoying. I still think that dance is all about the passion...ideal to have perfect skills too, but you need both, and one person can teach the other very easily (I think) if they have a good teaching style. PLUS you can enjoy dancing salsa with someone not so good by just teaching them some real basics. If your friend was like this - kind of 'ooh technically you missed that step' when the guy grew up on it, dances it passionately and when it is part of his upbringing - and some American woman starts lecturing him on a 'oh yea, the foot goes there, oh you're doing it all wrong' - I bet he had a crap time...
Rudderless Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 60 is when we look back at our life? How about if we are too busy living our life? Is 60 that old to you...how old are you? No children or grandchildren? Why do you presume that this is the goal of every woman? Or could we possibly go out on a limb and suggest that a woman can live a fulfilling life without the things that you think she should need to have lasting happiness. Face it, some people don't want that. Get over it and yourself. The problem is that some people just aren't happy and don't understand what a fulfilling life is. It's a by-product that they're either very quick to assume a default position for others of unhappiness, or try to heap it on them directly. Dreaming up scenarios in which people will inevitably be unhappy according to the fears that plague them is just the sort of company misery loves. She gave me the ol' , speech that women who are chronically single tell me......the plattitude of "Well, you won't be happy, if you settle" speech. It's fairly obvious that a relationship isn't top of her agenda. Difficult to fathom for many on a dating board I guess.
Thornton Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 If he can dance acceptably well then she's being unreasonable. As long as he's willing to dance with her and isn't completely terrible, then he can improve and become the sort of dance partner she wants. He was either so bad at dancing that she saw absolutely no potential in him and was convinced that he couldn't improve to the standard she wants, or there was something else that put her off him. I can sort of empathise - my ex would have a go at dancing, but he wasn't at my level, and was never going to be because he just didn't have natural grace and rhythm. I didn't dump him because of it though, I just danced with other people more than I danced with him - at least he was willing to go dancing with me, even if he wasn't great at it. But at these dancing events you often see couples who are amazing at dancing together, and that's probably what this woman wants - an amazing dance partner (or someone who has the potential to be amazing), not one who is mediocre and will remain so. Some serious dancers would rank dancing ability above a lot of other criteria in a potential mate, so while I think she was being a bit unreasonable I'm not actually surprised.
Recommended Posts