Dealing with Male Cockblockers

[SimpleSam]

As I have grown older, I have become extremely intolerant of those rats known as Male Cockblockers (CB). I had an experience with one this weekend, at a wedding.

 

Let me be upfront first; the CB in this case was a close friend of mine. Him and I went to this wedding, and I didn't really know anyone other than the bride and groom. The CB was too my right, and this couple sat down right next to me at the table. I started talking to this beautiful girl sitting at the table. I figured her date was her boyfriend, but mindless flirting never hurt anyone. Once she told me that her date was not her boyfriend, and in fact she wasn't seeing anyone at the moment, well, that was great to hear.

 

This girl and I really hit it off . It was great; but little did I know, that my friend next to me had other plans. While we were talking, CB interrupted our conversing with some mindless drivel, repeatedly. I ignored it, seeing as he is my friend. Well, as the night went on, I started to notice his behavior pattern, which was everytime me and this girl stepped out to have a cigarette, CB was close by or came out there with us. As you can see, it became really annoying really fast.

 

So, after the reception was over, she said she wanted to hang out. I told her I was having the after party in my room at the neighboring hotel. I'd say about 20 people were in the hotel room (including CB), and I commenced to get this girl's number.

 

Long story short, I was taking stuff out of my pockets, so I could change my clothes (this was in the hotel room). I accidentally pulled out a condom that was in my suit pocket, but I thought nobody had noticed it. Well, CB saw it and said, "Why the hell do you have that, you can't fit into those anyway." (I have to wear a certain type of rubber that fits). The girl I had been talking to heard all of this. Now, I told CB to shut his trap, as he had been acting really childish with his ways the entire night. He then said, "What? You thought you were going to sleep with X girl. Yeah right." He was talking about the girl I was interested in, who happened to be sitting right there. So, even though that was not my intention at all, she ended up leaving five minutes later.

 

To say the least, I was very embarrassed by my friend's behavior and extremely upset that this CB, who is a good friend, would do such a thing. I just wish there was a support group for males who do not have success with other women, and proceed to block their friends from having success with a new girl. Personally, I think he wanted this girl and when he saw we had some good chemistry, he got pissed, resentful, bitter, ect. Sorry guys, don't mean to vent, but have you ever had a problem like this before as well?

[JaneDoe35]

I am a woman, so no experience in that area. But you really gave me a laugh...not at your expense of course. Just the way you wrote.

 

I can imagine how frustrated you must have been. Not a great friend you have there. I thought you guys helped each other out in that department.

[littlewhiterose]

I'm a woman too and can I just say "eww"? You need a better friend/wingman to hang out with, also maybe a woman who's observant enough to see the true intentions of all parties involved. I've been in that girl's spot a couple of times before and can now tell when someone is CB'ing the guy interested in getting to know me. I've even put a CB'er or two in their place. .....it totally changes the dynamic, but I'm feisty, so...

[bbf]

I am a woman, so no experience in that area.

 

I'm curious what you mean by this. Do you mean that women don't cb each other, or that women don't mind it when they're being cb'ed.

[Johnny M]

Male cock blockers are easy to deal with (a swift knee to the balls will ensure your 'friend' never does it again). It's the female CB's that present more of a challenge, like the dedicated 'responsible' b*tch in a group of drunken girls.

[mushmush]

some dudes just have no idea..

 

it's incredibly frustrating when you get a girl alone for some 1 on 1 conversation and bam there he is..

 

I dont know how to deal with it myself..

 

got a friend who just has no idea. Told him to his face, that every time i'm talking to a girl he is there CB'ing me. Just kept on doing it, not intentionally but the guy is clueless. It's that bad that when I away on holidays in Bali I couldnt even talk to a girl without him hanging around.

 

Only thing I found worked was to find a differnt wing man as it just made meeting girls impossible with him there.

 

p.s is your friend the type of guy who tells his gf's that he loves them with in the first month of dating them??

[littlewhiterose]

Maybe it's not even about the girl....maybe your friend enjoys being single (along with you) and you talking to a woman, threatens that...? Just another possibility...

[b52s]

Yeah, I had to deal with one as well....this woman I had been out with a couple of times, who typically is out of town a lot while working.....I hardly get to see in person sometimes. But when she's in town, we try to catch up.

 

Apparently, there's this "circle of friends" I'm a part of, some are friends of friends MOST are just mere acquaintences over the past year.

 

Well, I'm a part of this mailing list on Facebook where you can see who is attending certain events. (that's the great thing about facebook).....and she RSVP'ed yes to the events.

 

I called her on her cell, and said, "Hey, I noticed you're going iceskating....I plan on going too!"

 

She goes, "Hey, cool...yeah...so and so told me about it, and I figured since I'm in town, I'll go ahead and check it out"

 

And I said, "cool, we can talk some and get caught up while we are there"

 

Apparently, the guy that told he about the event, was the guy that had a thing for her, lol

 

Well, she sees me, and we're waiting in line for skates, and we're talking....turns out "the CB" see's this and doesn't like this....then she gets her skates, and goes to the other side of the room to put them on.

 

He mentions soemthing about my new goatee look (I hadn't really had a goatee in a long while, and decided to grow one....and had gotten alot of compliments on it)

 

He proceeds to tell me how he tried the "goatee" thing, and when he did it, it creeped the ladies out so he decided to shave it off, and he told me it kinda looked the same way.

 

I figured he was just kind of teasin' me.

 

Later one, when we're done skating....she sits next to me while we're taking off our skates and we're chatting a bit, he sees us and goes to sit like 3 bleachers above us, takes off one skate at at ime,and proceeds to THROW it at the glass partition (plexliglass, it iddn't break) between us and the ice) throws them one at a time, and goes, "Man my feet hurt!" loudly. He was some how making it known he wasn't pleased with me hangin' with her

 

Then, later, we go to eat at a restaurant.

 

Some of us wanted to eat outside, some went into the bar...it was a nice day outside.

 

The waiter takes our order....and said CB invites her to the bar inside, guess he wanted to buy her a drink or something. I let him do it.....and then the food comes.

 

So her food sits there, getting cold.....I assumed they were going to come back out when the food was ready...so, as a favor, I just go in to tell her that her food is ready.

 

Then....the CB says, "Hey, just bring in the food for her, she'll eat it here."

 

So, being the stupid "nice guy" that I am...brought in the food....what I should've done is just let the food get cold (the CB didn't order anything, just her)

 

But being the "nice girl" that she is.....she invites me to join them/sit with them. So I do.

 

He, of course, doesn't like this.

 

After I get done eating, my friends are still mingling around the bar.....and I decide to get up and chat with other people.

 

Then, this is what sealed my fate/ unfriendship with this guy......he proceeds to talk LOUDLY about my new goatee to her, and in ear shot with other people...about how "creepy" it looks in frotn of everyone (kinda like your CB guy with the condom situation)

 

The guy in the group had a repuation being an obnoxious douche anyhow. Esp when drunken.

[littlewhiterose]

Yeah the thing about that is, the guy that manages to "pull" the girl away, from there on out is perceived as the alpha male. So if you don't move quick & stake your claim and hold it, you lose. Even if the (established) alpha messes up in convo a little down the road and she loses interest, it's unlikely she would go back to the beta.

 

Next time you're with the CB'er, move quick, stake your claim and hold it.

[b52s]

Yeah the thing about that is, the guy that manages to "pull" the girl away, from there on out is perceived as the alpha male. So if you don't move quick & stake your claim and hold it, you lose. Even if the (established) alpha messes up in convo a little down the road and she loses interest, it's unlikely she would go back to the beta.

 

Next time you're with the CB'er, move quick, stake your claim and hold it.

 

 

Hmmm....I don't consider this guy I was talking about an Alpha male, why? Because he didn't ask her out on a date one-on-one.

 

That's a mistake a lot of guys make, apparently he was asking her to come to a public event with friends.

 

Some guys like to do this to "transition" into a date....however, typically...this CAN be a good idea....however, it's no actually asking a woman out on a DATE.

 

You see, he asked her to come to a party or a social event hoping she would arrive...and she did....however, he did NOT expect other men to hit on her....and the men who hit on her can't be faulted for doing so.

 

That being said, if he was interested in her, he should've just asked her out to an intimate outing.

[littlewhiterose]

Hmmm....I don't consider this guy I was talking about an Alpha male, why? Because he didn't ask her out on a date one-on-one.

 

 

Yeah but she did. That's why she continued to hang out with him. You want to qualify yourself to her, not your friend... who cares what your competition thinks!

[Left in a Lurch]

I have a few friends like this. I noticed actually married friends do this a lot, like they are stuck so they are going to screw any of your chances.

 

You talk to someone and you are doing pretty well and these guys will leterally wedge themselves between you and the girl and change your conversation mid-sentence. I've noticed that a lot of girls will blow them off and still try to talk to you but the guys will be more forceful.

 

It drives me nuts. If you and the friend are talking to two women and you are making progress they will turn and focus all of their efforts on the one you are talking to.

 

I had one friend where we were at the bar and I was talking with this girl and doing fine. I spent the entire night shifting my body so he couldn't get between us, and trying to avoid him all night. The multiple times he tried to interrupt the conversation I just kept talking and tried to ignore him but he was relentless. After a while it just wears you down.

 

I think with the married guys it's jealousy. I've gotten to the point where I'll just call them on it and try to embarass them. I'll ask them about their wife and kids in front of the girl or ask them point blank why they are trying to interrupt and bother us. Still doesn't work.

[b52s]

Yeah but she did. That's why she continued to hang out with him. You want to qualify yourself to her, not your friend... who cares what your competition thinks!

 

yeah, but I'm one of those types that pretty much let the guys fight overa woman, dont' want the h assle of the competition, so i lay low, until she looses interest in the guy, or he does something to piss her off.

 

THEN that's when I make a move....some guys like to wait their turn at the lady.

[DustySaltus]

One of my best friends "A" lived across the street from me for 10 years when I was a kid. He's not a great looking guy and he thinks he is funnier than he actually is. Whenever we would go out he would act shy and try and crack a few jokes with the ladies. Well, for whatever reason by default the ladies would somehow gravitate to me, if for just the single reason of getting away from him. I always tried to be the best wingman I could be for him, never blocked him..actually encouraged him, but at a certain point its on him. He's the kind of guy that as someone said above, "falls in love in the first month", then falls off the face of the earth and you get that call 6 months later from him saying he's "heartbroken".

 

Fast forward to February of this year. Waiting for the train and I run into him and a few co-workers. One of them "M" is like a J-LO clone, she's 22 and very innocent. We were talking the entire ride back as "A" watched with wary eyes. She told me about a volunteer program that they were working on and asked me if I wanted to mentor a kid and I said sure, we exchange information and that was that.

 

We started talking via email during the work day and I asked her out. I told "A" that I was taking her out and if he could put in a good word for me I would appreciate it. Suprisingly, he said no. He said that I was player and she was "too good of a girl for me". At this point I asked him naturally if he liked her and he said NO (he had a girlfriend for 3 years at that point, of course he had to say that). I asked him "are you sure because I will step aside"? He said Yes and I told him that if he's not involved, he needs to deal with it.

 

So me and M spoke and were setting up a date but then all of a sudden the tone of her voice changed and she starting keeping things on a "business" level with the volunteering. So eventually I left it alone and find out that he was telling the girl that I was a player and would hurt her, blah, blah, blah.....dumped his girlfriend and started going out with her.

 

Saw him a few weeks later playing basketball with mutual friends and I just kind of ignore him. We are playing and he's saying stupid wiseass stuff like nothing is even wrong and then he fouled me kind of hard so I got up and gave him the hardest open handed slap you could ever give someone in front of 15 people. I guess it was just all the frustration pent up inside. I mean this guy thinks he's god's gift all of a sudden. Of course he just lied there because that's what guys like him do. When everyone else was told what was going on I would say 12 of the 15 guys have not acted the same way to him since.

 

This is a "friend" that had a grandmother in the hospital that wasn't getting treated properly and my Aunt stayed there 20 hours a day to help her and make sure she would be ok. All because I told my Aunt, this kid was like my brother. Look where that got me. But it wasn't meant to be anyway because the girl obviously didn't have a strong enough mind to make her own rational decision. She's 22, he's 28...he wants to get married, she's having fun (heard through friends), guess i'll get that phone call again soon, too bad I won't pick it up.

[BobSacamento]

Misery loves company. The CB'er lives by this.

 

You need to find a proper wingman. The only way to find a good wingman is to be a good wingman.

[thatguy85]

I have a close knit group of like 6 friends. One is a habitual CB. As a result of this, I never invite him out with me... because he's the worst.

 

When we all hang out and get a beer he can come... if theres a situation where I'm meeting a girl or have potential to, I leave his ass home.

 

I know it's easy to say this, and I know he's your friend... but even sometimes friends need to get their ass kicked.

[thatguy85]

Oh and by the way... Call the girl up, apologize, say your friend is an ass, tell her you aren't a dog and you liked her for who she was and not just for potential sex, and ask her out in a situation where your friend won't be there.

[traderho]

I don't understand why the OP did not talk to his CB buddy immediately and tell him to STFU. Seems like a no-brainer conversation to have with a close friend.

[BG1985]

Thatguy 85, that girl knows exactly what he was looking for; all girls do. I'm afraid his friend has ruined his first impression.

[SimpleSam]

I should have just called him out right then and there. But I had a couple of cocktails at this reception, so I didn't want the conversation to escalate into fist-a-cuffs. Besides, had that of happened, the girl would have just left period.

 

Its just frustrating that he would go out of his way to try to destroy my success. I told a friend of mine today the story, and this was his response, "What you say to him is Look man, you're being really rude interrupting me and this girl. I know your parents didn't raise you this way, so why are you acting so anti-social?" He explained that when you address them as if your talking to a little child, they usually shut up. But knowing my friend's past behavior, he probably would bring up some past situation to further embarrass me.

 

Like someone said earlier, it's a good idea to just not bring him out when me and the boys are on the prowl so to speak. I don't either. And a group of our mutual friends know about CB tendencies. I really enjoyed some of the stories posted on here too.

 

And no, this friend of mine is not a homosexual. He's the type who doesn't take sound advice very well. Meaning, he is self absorbed. I've tried to recommend certain techniques and books, but he refuses. He learns the hard way so screw it. Its not good for friends, and interested women to know that you have a reputation of being a CB.

[TheLoneSock]

As I have grown older, I have become extremely intolerant of those rats known as Male Cockblockers (CB). I had an experience with one this weekend, at a wedding.

 

Let me be upfront first; the CB in this case was a close friend of mine. Him and I went to this wedding, and I didn't really know anyone other than the bride and groom. The CB was too my right, and this couple sat down right next to me at the table. I started talking to this beautiful girl sitting at the table. I figured her date was her boyfriend, but mindless flirting never hurt anyone. Once she told me that her date was not her boyfriend, and in fact she wasn't seeing anyone at the moment, well, that was great to hear.

 

This girl and I really hit it off . It was great; but little did I know, that my friend next to me had other plans. While we were talking, CB interrupted our conversing with some mindless drivel, repeatedly. I ignored it, seeing as he is my friend. Well, as the night went on, I started to notice his behavior pattern, which was everytime me and this girl stepped out to have a cigarette, CB was close by or came out there with us. As you can see, it became really annoying really fast.

 

So, after the reception was over, she said she wanted to hang out. I told her I was having the after party in my room at the neighboring hotel. I'd say about 20 people were in the hotel room (including CB), and I commenced to get this girl's number.

 

Long story short, I was taking stuff out of my pockets, so I could change my clothes (this was in the hotel room). I accidentally pulled out a condom that was in my suit pocket, but I thought nobody had noticed it. Well, CB saw it and said, "Why the hell do you have that, you can't fit into those anyway." (I have to wear a certain type of rubber that fits). The girl I had been talking to heard all of this. Now, I told CB to shut his trap, as he had been acting really childish with his ways the entire night. He then said, "What? You thought you were going to sleep with X girl. Yeah right." He was talking about the girl I was interested in, who happened to be sitting right there. So, even though that was not my intention at all, she ended up leaving five minutes later.

 

To say the least, I was very embarrassed by my friend's behavior and extremely upset that this CB, who is a good friend, would do such a thing. I just wish there was a support group for males who do not have success with other women, and proceed to block their friends from having success with a new girl. Personally, I think he wanted this girl and when he saw we had some good chemistry, he got pissed, resentful, bitter, ect. Sorry guys, don't mean to vent, but have you ever had a problem like this before as well?

 

It sounds like you need a new wingman bro. You know you have a good friend when he puts in work FOR your sex life and not AGAINST it lol.

[D-Jam]

I would have just took him aside during the wedding and tell him to back off and that I saw her first. To be a pal and not a cockblock.

 

I'd even tell him if he sees another girl he likes to go for it, or I'll be his wingman some night and help him hook up.

 

If he can't take the hint or he gets cocky and tells me "may the best man win tonight"...then I know he's not a pal and I'd seriously consider if I want him as a friend in my life.

 

Lord knows if things were reverse and my single male friend met a girl at a wedding, I'd back off and let them get to know one another.

[samspade]

As I have grown older, I have become extremely intolerant of those rats known as Male Cockblockers (CB). I had an experience with one this weekend, at a wedding.

 

Let me be upfront first; the CB in this case was a close friend of mine. Him and I went to this wedding, and I didn't really know anyone other than the bride and groom. The CB was too my right, and this couple sat down right next to me at the table. I started talking to this beautiful girl sitting at the table. I figured her date was her boyfriend, but mindless flirting never hurt anyone. Once she told me that her date was not her boyfriend, and in fact she wasn't seeing anyone at the moment, well, that was great to hear.

 

This girl and I really hit it off . It was great; but little did I know, that my friend next to me had other plans. While we were talking, CB interrupted our conversing with some mindless drivel, repeatedly. I ignored it, seeing as he is my friend. Well, as the night went on, I started to notice his behavior pattern, which was everytime me and this girl stepped out to have a cigarette, CB was close by or came out there with us. As you can see, it became really annoying really fast.

 

So, after the reception was over, she said she wanted to hang out. I told her I was having the after party in my room at the neighboring hotel. I'd say about 20 people were in the hotel room (including CB), and I commenced to get this girl's number.

 

Long story short, I was taking stuff out of my pockets, so I could change my clothes (this was in the hotel room). I accidentally pulled out a condom that was in my suit pocket, but I thought nobody had noticed it. Well, CB saw it and said, "Why the hell do you have that, you can't fit into those anyway." (I have to wear a certain type of rubber that fits). The girl I had been talking to heard all of this. Now, I told CB to shut his trap, as he had been acting really childish with his ways the entire night. He then said, "What? You thought you were going to sleep with X girl. Yeah right." He was talking about the girl I was interested in, who happened to be sitting right there. So, even though that was not my intention at all, she ended up leaving five minutes later.

 

To say the least, I was very embarrassed by my friend's behavior and extremely upset that this CB, who is a good friend, would do such a thing. I just wish there was a support group for males who do not have success with other women, and proceed to block their friends from having success with a new girl. Personally, I think he wanted this girl and when he saw we had some good chemistry, he got pissed, resentful, bitter, ect. Sorry guys, don't mean to vent, but have you ever had a problem like this before as well?

 

Work on your game and find new friends. Losers like this are like crabs in a barrel - once they see you starting to climb out they will pull you back in. Don't let them.

 

On a practical level, I agree, you should have directly called him on it. I'm sure you were too frustrated at the time to think of the right thing to say. Just hold on to this for the next time it happens.

[Johnny M]

Work on your game and find new friends. Losers like this are like crabs in a barrel - once they see you starting to climb out they will pull you back in. Don't let them.

That's a great way of looking at it.

[start-fresh]

I'm a woman too and can I just say "eww"? You need a better friend/wingman to hang out with, also maybe a woman who's observant enough to see the true intentions of all parties involved. I've been in that girl's spot a couple of times before and can now tell when someone is CB'ing the guy interested in getting to know me. I've even put a CB'er or two in their place. .....it totally changes the dynamic, but I'm feisty, so...

 

That's a huge turn on and confidence booster for the guy, btw. It's awesome when you know the girl's on the same wavelength as you and really puts the douchey guy in his place.