McGrupp Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 so i recently got dumped (well documented in the coping section) out of a 3.5 yr relationship. after about 6 weeks of deep depression and all the BS ( alot of which im not over) i met a girl saturday night at the bar. ok im not an idiot but lets look at these giant red flags (!). first thing is girl is at the bar with some guy. i sit next to them just cause it s the only spot. makes some jokes. she ends up giving me her # when he hits the bathroom fast forward to a couple of shots later we are making out outside. she says she doesnt even like this guy. and was trying to ditch him. btw she is hot, incredibly so, and very cool/funny. i feel pretty good. ask her if she wants to come to friends house after and she asks if there will be drugs (!). i say probably just weed and beer. the dude makes her leave so she cant hit the house although she tells me she wants to. fast forward to last night (sunday). bored with a buddy at same house and we are chilling. i tell him about the girl. he says just text her. i do. she ends up coming over. she begins the whole night just talking about rehab. like she has nothing else going on. my buddy did a stint so they get to talking. now she is 22 and he is 26. he tells me later most of the rehab she is talkin about is minor league but thats its still ****ed because she did mention some hard drugs. then she asks if we can get any drugs. my buddy is like what are you looking for. she says any opiates (!). when we say no, she then starts talking about how many 3 somes shes had (!) and buys a bag of coke from some kid there. ok it gets better. we kiss and say goodnight. then today i wake up to like 5 text messages. she calls at like 12. we talk. then again at like 7. she wants me to come over. mind you this is less then 48 hours ive known this girl. at first i say no, but since my new found life is hanging out with my parents on a monday night i say what do i have to lose. so i go to this girls parents house. meet the parents. cool. (a little soon?) go up to her bedroom. she talks about how depressed she is and stff. eventually tells me why they took her out of college (addicted to herion and tried to hang herself) she has these ****ing dark paintings she did herself around the room. i start looking at her photo booth pics (on a mac) and she has ones with like maybe 5 dudes. then some black dude she says is a dude she lived with while she was "leaving in the hood. hes a cript" then there are pics of her after she hung herself with the red neck and in an ICU gown. bunch of nudes and pics of her crying. also some happy ones too. ANYWAY...we make out, hold each other watch tv, joke around. flirt. she takes her meads (her mom comes up and gives them to her) and passes out. now im not an idiot. me myself im going through a ton of **** with my breakup. so maybe misery loves company. i think it would be a good FWB situation for the winter while i get my head strait. and she is smoking hot and i need anything right now to get my head of my ex. but i realize this is bad. like really bad. and too bad because she is cute and has a cool personality (besides the herion desire and the wanting to kill yourself) also she seems like way clingy (duh). my life b4 the breakup (im 25) was living with my ex, playing house everynight and watching sitcoms in her condo. so i know what the advice will be (RUN!) but ya know...lets see....
aerogurl87 Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 so i recently got dumped (well documented in the coping section) out of a 3.5 yr relationship. after about 6 weeks of deep depression and all the BS ( alot of which im not over) i met a girl saturday night at the bar. ok im not an idiot but lets look at these giant red flags (!). first thing is girl is at the bar with some guy. i sit next to them just cause it s the only spot. makes some jokes. she ends up giving me her # when he hits the bathroom fast forward to a couple of shots later we are making out outside. she says she doesnt even like this guy. and was trying to ditch him. btw she is hot, incredibly so, and very cool/funny. i feel pretty good. ask her if she wants to come to friends house after and she asks if there will be drugs (!). i say probably just weed and beer. the dude makes her leave so she cant hit the house although she tells me she wants to. fast forward to last night (sunday). bored with a buddy at same house and we are chilling. i tell him about the girl. he says just text her. i do. she ends up coming over. she begins the whole night just talking about rehab. like she has nothing else going on. my buddy did a stint so they get to talking. now she is 22 and he is 26. he tells me later most of the rehab she is talkin about is minor league but thats its still ****ed because she did mention some hard drugs. then she asks if we can get any drugs. my buddy is like what are you looking for. she says any opiates (!). when we say no, she then starts talking about how many 3 somes shes had (!) and buys a bag of coke from some kid there. ok it gets better. we kiss and say goodnight. then today i wake up to like 5 text messages. she calls at like 12. we talk. then again at like 7. she wants me to come over. mind you this is less then 48 hours ive known this girl. at first i say no, but since my new found life is hanging out with my parents on a monday night i say what do i have to lose. so i go to this girls parents house. meet the parents. cool. (a little soon?) go up to her bedroom. she talks about how depressed she is and stff. eventually tells me why they took her out of college (addicted to herion and tried to hang herself) she has these ****ing dark paintings she did herself around the room. i start looking at her photo booth pics (on a mac) and she has ones with like maybe 5 dudes. then some black dude she says is a dude she lived with while she was "leaving in the hood. hes a cript" then there are pics of her after she hung herself with the red neck and in an ICU gown. bunch of nudes and pics of her crying. also some happy ones too. ANYWAY...we make out, hold each other watch tv, joke around. flirt. she takes her meads (her mom comes up and gives them to her) and passes out. now im not an idiot. me myself im going through a ton of **** with my breakup. so maybe misery loves company. i think it would be a good FWB situation for the winter while i get my head strait. and she is smoking hot and i need anything right now to get my head of my ex. but i realize this is bad. like really bad. and too bad because she is cute and has a cool personality (besides the herion desire and the wanting to kill yourself) also she seems like way clingy (duh). my life b4 the breakup (im 25) was living with my ex, playing house everynight and watching sitcoms in her condo. so i know what the advice will be (RUN!) but ya know...lets see.... I see a bunch of minor red flags pointing to the huge red flag of MAJOR PSYCHO! This girl obviously has issues and is probably still a drug whore. Do you really want to be involved in her life, even if it is just FWB? Because people like this find ways to seep into your life unknowingly. Next thing you know you'll have the cops putting you in handcuffs as an accomplice to drug trafficking or something worse. I'm just telling you this looks bad, but if you want to risk it go ahead...
t0ri Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 I think this chick will add more stress and drama to your life, than positive distraction. There's a million other (sane, healthy, clean) girls out there. I feel for the girl, but she needs to get her head situated and she doesn't sound like a good temporary distraction, and definitely not dating material as of now. If she's already clingy, think of where FWB would lead.
BookerT Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 People like that are easily avoidable. The really dangerous ones are the jerks/bitches that are nice sometimes, and terrible partners other times, or are extremely manipulative and good liars. The ones that are hard to spot are the ones that will ruin your life. The easy ones to spot. Well if you still go for them, then you might as well be willingly taking hard drugs.
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 I suppose if you're looking for some Fatal Attraction and possible suicide attempt when you break up with her at the end of the summer - Go for it, dude! :bunny:
stepka Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 And major STDs! People who do needles are more likely to be HIV+ I'm sure. Get out now--you can't be that needy for a girl.
DustySaltus Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 This is the complete opposite of the type of woman you need right now. This girl can't possibly have her S*** together at this point and I think that spending time with this wackjob is going to delay your own healing process. I'm sure the sex would be great with this girl, but it always is with girls like this......BECAUSE SHE HAS A TON OF EXPERIENCE!!! McGrupp, forget about her. You're setting yourself up for a huge headache.
Author McGrupp Posted November 10, 2009 Author Posted November 10, 2009 you guys are right. tough to get perspective in my life right now as everyone is very tired of my bitching. Il give her the "im still in love with my ex,i dont think this whole thing would be fair to you"....slowly though. too bad because i really like her looks, style and personality (when shes not talking drugs or suicide)
JamesM Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 On the other hand, being with this woman may help you realize how well you have your act together. No, she has too many issues for her to be someone that you want. The sea of love looks red with the number of flas riddled over the ocean. Move on. Even a one night stand is probably dangerous, because the end result may be her thinking that there is more and she may end up being a stalker. Looks as you know are nothing when it ends up being a headache.
Author McGrupp Posted November 10, 2009 Author Posted November 10, 2009 i also forgot to mention she is a lesbian (bi i guess). how does someone have this much life at 22?
JamesM Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 i also forgot to mention she is a lesbian (bi i guess). how does someone have this much life at 22? Now this is starting to sound fun! You could have alot of stories for us if you began dating her.
Odyssey Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 i also forgot to mention she is a lesbian (bi i guess). how does someone have this much life at 22? lol. you call that life? i call it plenty of pain and misery. experience is just another word for mistakes. I know prospect of being alone right now, especially with winter and xmas coming soon (geez ...and then valentines day), is hard for you. Trust me, waking up next to a stranger in the morning and wishing she was your ex, hurts even more! Focus on you and stay NC man. You will come out as a better person for it.
Soulmind Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 so i know what the advice will be (RUN!) but ya know...lets see.... After reading your post...I think...well...erm...RUN!!!!!
torranceshipman Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 She is a whackjob-completely nuts, probably has an STD, constantly sniffing around for drugs, depressed, tries to kill herself....WTF! Dude...run away now. She's going to really drag you down and cause trouble for you.
HarmonyHope Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 This girl has all the markers of being a total bunny boiler. Since you already know she's not good relationship material, trying to just use her for sex is pretty yucky. It's like having sex with a drunk girl - maybe not rape, but not really right either. She has the potential to go psycho and screw up other parts of your life and future relationships. And sometimes it isn't a far leap from doing violence onto oneself to doing violence unto others (ala Steve McNair). Seriously, run away fast. And one other fun tidbit - heroin addicts very often have hepatitis and/or a few other fun STD's. If you insist on going there, have this girl tested to at least protect yourself and future girlfriends.
Author McGrupp Posted November 10, 2009 Author Posted November 10, 2009 its like u finally have an upswing in your life and bam... and stay NC with whom? the ex? yeah i am still consumed by her and the mistakes i made
Lucky_One Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 Run. Run fast. Run hard. Run, Forrest, run!!
Ms. Joolie Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 Awwww, McGrupp.... by using her "over the winter" or whatever not only are you stopping yourself from where you should be, but you are probably stopping her from getting the help she needs. The longer you delay getting yourself in a GREAT place in life, and settling for these kind of distractions, the longer you delay a great life... and great relationships.
stepka Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 OH, and McGrupp, you're not one of those guys attracted to fixer uppers are you? Just a few things you should consider: what if she gets pregnant? What if you get her tested for STDs and then she goes out on you? What if she commits suicide in your house? That sounds farfetched but happened to a male friend of mine. It wasn't a gf but a guy friend (my friend wasn't gay) and the guy came over and hung himself in the basement and my friend was so creeped out that he had to move.
stepka Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 hmmm... what to do? Dang, a troll. Guess I knew that already.
JamesM Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Dang, a troll. Guess I knew that already. Go read through McGrupp's other threads. He goes through a lot of trouble and reveals a lot of feelings for a troll. IMO always assume the person is real and has real troubles. If one cannot do so, then don't bother posting. im going to bang her Honestly, I would if I were in your position. BUT...if she is as crazy as she sounds, this may give you some complications in life. Of course, this could get your mind off all of your other troubles.
Author McGrupp Posted November 11, 2009 Author Posted November 11, 2009 no one in my life could give me any good advice so i had to call up an old friend. he used to sell coke (now is on the strait and narrow) but he always had messed up flosies at his apt. he would have sex all the time and is probably was with over 100 women b4 21 ( alot or most non-drug addled whores). anyway he said the best way to handle it. tel her "you really really like her, but you just got out of a relationship (which she knows about) so your just trying to take it easy" there you go. im sure she has had FWB situations b4 and im not at all looking for anything more than that....just gotta stay away from A) taking her on dates (because im a good guy and used to that ****) and B) if she gets back into the drugs im done with her (as in H and other things, ill let the coke thing go for now)
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