berrieh Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 I had 2 really serious relationships, so I'm really bad at this part. But I was dating a guy who I thought might be something, finally, after a bit of singledom, which isn't horrible but which has gone on longer than I'd like. So, I met this guy. We go to some of the same events and live really close to each other, so we know a lot of the same people, but our circles are fairly separate. Anyway, one night, we finally talked, hung out, and began dating. We've been dating about three weeks, and seeing each other a lot, and everything was lovely. But this weekend, there was a night everything went wrong. He was in a funk, I got a migraine... the list goes on a bit. We just felt totally not connected. It's still really early, so I was worried. I saw him at an event the day after the bad night, but we didn't really talk. He came over to our table at first (we have separate tables) and flirted a bit, but then went off with his friends. His male friends are super nice, but his female friends---I've only met them once---really dissed me and my friends once, for no apparent reason. So, the group makes me a little uncomfortable and we didn't really talk. This week, we don't really have plans. He might come to something I'm organizing Thursday (with me) if he's feeling up to it, but he mentioned today he was sick. That was the only day he suggested for getting together, and I've told him about my plans already. I'm wondering if he remembered and did that on purpose, or if I'm just over-analyzing. This guy and I really click---he always calls me beautiful, and he said he felt like he's hung out with me 100 times, like we already fit, etc, so these setbacks are bumming me out.
Bejita463 Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 None of that really sounds like a big deal to me. Setbacks happen. It's not the end of the world. You're probably more concerned about it by far than he is. As a result of that, perhaps you should talk to him about it.
Author berrieh Posted November 9, 2009 Author Posted November 9, 2009 I've had a few guys do the drop-off in the past year (none that seemed as promising as this guy) so I guess I'm always just worried that if we don't have plans, I'll never see him again. And he'll pretend nothing ever happened. I never know when a guy is going to do that...
Bejita463 Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 I can understand that. There's no real sense in worrying though, right? To state the obvious, it will either happen or it won't. If it isn't happening, you could end up poisoning things with the worry. Besides, dating is supposed to be fun. Relax!
Author berrieh Posted November 9, 2009 Author Posted November 9, 2009 I think the biggest problem is that I find dating (the hoping but not-knowing) totally not fun at all. I'd rather either have no prospects or have a boyfriend, but the in between stuff, I'm bad at because it is just painful and annoying to me.
A O Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 This guy and I really click---he always calls me beautiful, and he said he felt like he's hung out with me 100 times, like we already fit, etc, so these setbacks are bumming me out. Behavior (how a person treats you, how they communicate) is "king", not personality. Remember that, treat it as gospel. .
Author berrieh Posted November 9, 2009 Author Posted November 9, 2009 Behavior (how a person treats you, how they communicate) is "king", not personality. Remember that, treat it as gospel. . What do you mean by that in response to the part you quoted? I'm confused. I think he treats me pretty well. We just feel like we became a bit disconnected... more circumstances (timing, migraine, muscle pains, lack of time in our schedules, etc).
A O Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 What do you mean by that in response to the part you quoted? I'm confused. I think he treats me pretty well. We just feel like we became a bit disconnected... more circumstances (timing, migraine, muscle pains, lack of time in our schedules, etc). Too many people get hooked on looks (usually men) or personality (usually women). I try to get people to look past both, and to concentrate on what really matters - behavior, especially in times like yours when your questioning things. .
SadandConfusedWA Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 To be honest he doesn't sound that interested in you at this point. Things can still go either way though.
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