dharris27 Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 (edited) By like, i suppose I really mean, should I be worried... Long story short the guy I'm dating (three months now, but have known for years) broke up with his ex of 3 years about eight months ago today. The things I knew going into this is that they never slept together because she was waiting for marriage and this means no boob shots or even sleeping next to one another. According to his roommate who is friends with both he and the ex, this guy had lost interest a while back and even proceeded to start communicating with his highschool love again with hints of sexual desire. Also according to this roommate, he felt somewhat stuck and unable to break with this girl for almost a year because she was so nice and eventually resorted to being sort of rude in order to get the hint out in which i suppose they mutually ended it some time later. Lastly, according to his roommate who I spoke to about this fear that he may still be into his ex is that she was surprised that he wasn't remaining single since it wasn't too long after his breakup yet she knew how much he respected me and how much he liked me and was really impressed with how hard he was trying and being such a kind guy, which she hadn't seen with the last girl - something she claimed has to do with he and I being equals and he and the last girl not being compatable very much at all. The thing is, and he's NEVER hid this from me, he's even shown me her texts, is that they still text from time to time - maybe every other day. He keeps in touch on Facebook too...granted he does with me and tons of other people as well...recently she saw us together at a festival and it was really strange. I went in to hug him as we peered through a crowd and then he suddenly kind of jerked away when my phone rang and then I saw his ex staring right at us. He waved to her. A few minutes later we were standing with his parents, who I'd just met, and she came up to chat up a storm but was clearly upset to see me with him...and he even chose to walk away and hardly say bye to her once she'd left. (I should add that I only kind of knew them as a couple but they both listened to my radio show and were really nice to me, so I feel really bad being with him in front of her - yet, we were never close so I try to put that aside. She was even nice enough to hug me even though she was upset...like I said, a really sweet girl.) This guy is an extremely sincere and nice person while she is as well...we spend nearly every night together and he treats me like queen while telling me how funny, smart, and awesome I am. So, clearly he's with me...but I wonder how to take the texting and facebook chatting. I shouldn't care? Not the jealous type...but don't want to be a fool... Edited November 9, 2009 by dharris27
bbf Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 My god, if he can hold out for three years without so much as a nipple, I doubt you have anything to worry about.
Boundary Problem Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 Does he romanticize her? keep photos of her everywhere, keep her stuffed animals, wear gifts she gave him, underwear she left behind?, her favorite coffee mug etc... Time to clean house, I think. If he resists, then he still is harbouring hope of something. Men are trophy keepers. What you find within their territory will reveal what they value - is it her stuff? Nothing wrong with putting some of it in a box in the back of the closet - when he is ready.
Author dharris27 Posted November 9, 2009 Author Posted November 9, 2009 Well, he's an artist so i just realized recently one of the girls in a photo he has is here...but she's not facing the camera and it seems to be more of a creative shot...otherwise i saw a couple frames that he had collected and pushed in a corner of his room, i guess to get out site. Otherwise, of the 100 things hanging from is wall there is a frame of ticket stubs she made for him a while ago...off putting, but otherwise I don't know of anything else lingering. He has mentioned her a couple times in conversation in such a comfortable way I feel like he's be more nervous or hesisitant to if still harboring feelings for her. Not sure... ack, this sucks...
Boundary Problem Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 My god, if he can hold out for three years without so much as a nipple, I doubt you have anything to worry about. Given your sweep of the territory, I now concur with bbf
Recommended Posts