Sam Spade Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 The biggest reason why guys don't do enough sweet little things for their women is because they are either unwilling or unable to comprehend the basic fact that girls are crayzeeee and thus sincerely get excited over silly and inconsequential stuff . Once they figure it out, it's a cakewalk .
Boundary Problem Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 if there are any things some people may think are courteous but you may feel are demeaning in some way or would just prefer men didn't do. Well I think it is polite when they let me walk in front up a narrow set of stairs, but then I caught them looking at my a--. So chivalry has its perks I guess. I think this is something that both genders struggle with. I find that if there is an awkwardness in the relationship then that will translate into these little things, and these little things become something to focus on as the point of battlefield. When there is no awkwardness, these things (either way) are a non-issue.
sjml251 Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 The guy I'm currently dating got me hook, line, and sinker with this one: We had been dating for about a month and he had stayed at my place a few times. I left for a trip and the plan was that he would pick me up from the airport and we would stay at his house the night I arrived back. Once I got there and settled in, I went to take a shower after a long day of travel - to my surprise, there was a bottle each of the shampoo, conditioner, face cleanser, and soap that I use at my house. He had actually outfitted his shower to accomodate me and make me feel comfortable the first time I was staying over! Without him saying anything it said to me that he liked me and wanted to spend more time with me - that he wanted me to be in his life, he thought about me when I wasn't around, that he wanted me to stay with him (more than just this once or for a few booty calls); that I could feel secure in knowing that he looked at this as somethig that had a future to it (I mean, it takes some time getting through full size bottles of soap, cleanser, shampoo, and conditioner - that's a lot of sleepovers!). It may sound silly but it was one of the most romantic things that anyone has ever done for me - it was just so thoughtful and sweet... it really made me feel cared for. ps- he eventually confessed the cheat code to me on this one: he took a picture with his phone of the inside of my shower one day/night that he stayed over and then had it for reference so he could get the right stuff.
Els Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Of course there are psychological benefits. These little gestures appeal to your vanity by making you feel like an important person who's being attended to by servants. So you'd refuse anyone opening doors or pulling out chairs for you because you think that they're insinuating that you're a lesser person by doing so? :/
Sam Spade Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 Apples to oranges comparison. Massages and dinners are things that people can actually appreciate for logical reasons (a good dinner is yummy and a good massage is relaxing). There's nothing wrong with either men or women doing this for their lovers. I'm talking about things that are completely symbolic, like pulling out chairs and opening car doors. These symbolic gestures imply that women deserve special treatment simply because they are women. Dude, you're looking at this from the wrong direction. Forget about utility, the key here is to make this a foreplay. I.e. "I hope you're relaxed and comfortable, sweetie, because as soon as we get home I'm splitting you in half :laugh:". Of course, this is not to say that one should have good manners because of those kinds of motives, but it's still a nice way to build the tension up - which is nice entertainment during the day, even if there is no prospect of getting nasty. Plus you can check her butt out every time you open the door for her, so it's all good .
Malenfant Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 i'm happy when my H makes me a cup of tea. He makes nice tea. tea works for me
MoreAwesomeUsername Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 The guy I'm currently dating got me hook, line, and sinker with this one: We had been dating for about a month and he had stayed at my place a few times. I left for a trip and the plan was that he would pick me up from the airport and we would stay at his house the night I arrived back. Once I got there and settled in, I went to take a shower after a long day of travel - to my surprise, there was a bottle each of the shampoo, conditioner, face cleanser, and soap that I use at my house. He had actually outfitted his shower to accomodate me and make me feel comfortable the first time I was staying over! Without him saying anything it said to me that he liked me and wanted to spend more time with me - that he wanted me to be in his life, he thought about me when I wasn't around, that he wanted me to stay with him (more than just this once or for a few booty calls); that I could feel secure in knowing that he looked at this as somethig that had a future to it (I mean, it takes some time getting through full size bottles of soap, cleanser, shampoo, and conditioner - that's a lot of sleepovers!). It may sound silly but it was one of the most romantic things that anyone has ever done for me - it was just so thoughtful and sweet... it really made me feel cared for. ps- he eventually confessed the cheat code to me on this one: he took a picture with his phone of the inside of my shower one day/night that he stayed over and then had it for reference so he could get the right stuff. This one is a keeper, happy to see good men out there...
Lizzie60 Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 Little things???? I want men to show me big things..
Els Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Little things???? I want men to show me big things.. LOL!!! :lmao:
PinkToes Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I'll turn to mush if I'm out having coffee or a beer with a man, and he reaches across the table and touches my hand... I love it when someone looks me right in the eye and really listens to what I'm saying. Or when I come home, and he pours me a glass of wine. Cards & flowers aren't that important to me; I like the little gestures more than anything.
Palmer253 Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 Thanks to all the ladies for their input. I'm getting a lot of really good ideas. I have to admit that I am a lot more chilverish then most guys but there are a couple things I just can't bring myself to do and I don't know why. First is pulling back chairs in restaurants, at home sure but not out in public. The other is standing when a woman arrives/leaves the table. Other than those two things I do a lot of the other stuff mentioned in this thread for my girl, and the ones I don't I'm taking notes.
PinkToes Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 I actually kind of prefer not having my chair pulled out for me, it takes too much balance to hold up my end of the deal. So to speak.
Recommended Posts