canadaguy98 Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 Ive had a string of bad luck with ladies lately. I never picked nutty ones until my ex-fiancee dumped me. Then I ended up with this married chick that lied about being married, lied about being on the contraceptive shot, hooked me in and then when I was distancing myself from her decided to drop false assault charges. Then I met this amazing girl who was truly magical, well she seemed magical but turned out she lied to me about everything about herself including her nationality, job, even her name. Broke up with that one she nearly killed me left a wine bottle full of bleach in the fridge for me to try out when I was cleaning up the disaster she left behind. Well I met this really nice girl... god. She is quite nice but she's really intense. I've been seeing her for like 6 weeks now. I have had such horrible luck that I've been really adamant that we take it SLOWLY. She wants to spend a huge amount of time with me, she calls me on all her breaks from work and will leave from visiting me and then want to talk on the phone the moment she gets home and is already missing me and pouting how she misses me so. After the initial intense euphoria I have tried to tell her yes I like you a lot but lets take it slow, live in seperate spaces get our own time to do our own things. Now its like pulling a grilled cheese sandwich apart - messy as hell. Like I have a job interview so I go to it and then go near her work for when she gets off and kill a half hour in the mall to meet up with her for lunch, drive around with her then have lunch then come here to my place and hang out, then she goes off to do some errands and asks if she can come back after, I'm cool with that then she crashes here and hanky panky ensues I cuddle with her and have coffee with her in the morning and she wants to go shopping. I have work to do (I work from home) and she says its ok if I dont want to go so I say yeah go out do your thing I'll get some work done and then maybe we can hook up later. She gets home and calls me with this whole thing how we never do anything together and I only want to spend time with her when it's convenient for me and all this crap. I just wanted to get some work done its Wednesday mid-day and didnt want to go shopping. I figured we'd hook up again later in the day... Now she's like well fine we wont talk tonight then. All icy, shes saying things like, "fine you want to take things slow then lets take them slow we can see eachother like once a week since you dont like to spend time with me". I'm like whoa girl, I just spent the morning until 11am with you and last night cuddling with you and yesterday afternoon with you from 2 -4 you got back at 8... Its not that I dont like spending time with you but I have some of my own things to do this is my job. And like last weekend I kind of backed away because she lured me to her house but she had to work at 6am and said that she'd drop me off at home afterwards but then things took longer and longer then she said why dont I stay so I stayed but then it was Sunday and I had to take a cab home because the transit system wasnt working and because of the time change we ended up leaving an hour early. Then we hooked up at 3pm the next day and hung out did laundry and stuff then went back to her house ... again she was going to drop me off before the night finished and then wanted me to stay again... I was like whoa now I just spent last night here and you have to work at 6am again tomorrow and I have cats who havent been fed and need to be looked after, she got all pissy and was like "fine I guess I'll never ask you if you want to stay over again" and again I was like "whoa girl I just stayed here last night I like staying over sometimes but I do have responsibilities I need to look after and the plan wasnt that I was going to stay over again tonight maybe another night when you dont have to work at 6am" What the heck do I do with this girl!?!?! I like her she is really nice and kind but so super thin skinned sensitive it's like say no to her once and she snaps back in this dichotomous way. I've been through a BPD girlfriend before and a bi-polar so I know that no matter what I need to hold my ground no matter how healthy someone is I cant just give in to her every whim because she gets upset. Of course you have to humor a girl sometimes thats part of the way women are... She is also complaining that we dont have much to talk about on the phone anymore.. I'm like whoa girl well we talk on the phone every hour when your at work then I see you then we part and then we talk on the phone until we go to sleep we're just running out of things to talk about because we're together all the time or talking on the phone. I like talking to you and everything but we need something to happen on our own so we can share things with eachother. Its like when we talk we're constantly talking about either how much she misses me and wishes she was with me and how much she loves me or we're talking about her ex-boyfriend's latest antics calling her leaving her nasty messages accusing her of ****. Again she is really nice as a girl i quite like her or I wouldn't be spending so much time with her in the first place.. But i need to have my own life a bit maybe sleep at home alone once in a while or chill out and have some "me time" once in a while; thats not so bad ! garrgh
schoolofdating Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 Please tell me why you put up with that? Always remember there a million women in the world you dont need one treating you like that wow
2sunny Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 see her once a week. set a boundary. you should have one and it appears you don't. tell her once a week is enough - so that you can take care of your work and that she doesn't have the chance to be so damn needy and demanding of all your time.
Lovegod Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 What the heck do I do with this girl!?!?! Ditch her. I like her she is really nice and kind Are you retarded? She lays on the guilt trips if you don't spoil her with what she wants. You either need to tell her to quit the childish behavior, or kick her ass out the door. she got all pissy and was like "fine I guess I'll never ask you if you want to stay over again" This is NOT what I call "nice and kind".
Tiz Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 If I were you this girl would have been gone at the first sign of this psycho behavior. She's either trying to be dominant in the relationship, needy, or both. You should be setting the pace of the relationship. It definitely sounds like you're having a bad streak. Keep getting those numbers, and nip this one in the bud by cutting your losses before it gets out of hand. You will not change this girl by having a talk with her. Have the intuition to know you should get out of Dodge.
Author canadaguy98 Posted November 5, 2009 Author Posted November 5, 2009 i was quite firm with her on the phone today when she dropped this on me for the third time, that i do like spending time with her but that its normal for couples to sometimes be apart and do their own thing it doesnt mean that we dont like eachother. i told her that I'd call her later on when I was finished and left it at that. *sigh*
Tiz Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 i was quite firm with her on the phone today when she dropped this on me for the third time, that i do like spending time with her but that its normal for couples to sometimes be apart and do their own thing it doesnt mean that we dont like eachother. i told her that I'd call her later on when I was finished and left it at that. *sigh* Even telling her that you'll call her later is a mistake in itself. Extricate yourself now.
Author canadaguy98 Posted November 5, 2009 Author Posted November 5, 2009 Even telling her that you'll call her later is a mistake in itself. Extricate yourself now. I dont think that it's quite that bad. I mostly want to make sure I dont dig myself into a corner; and hence pull apart more grilled cheese sandwiches.
Brady_to_Moss Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 God i would leave her in a heartbeat. So glad i don't date. The way you describe her. Needy and all....NEXT
Author canadaguy98 Posted November 5, 2009 Author Posted November 5, 2009 lol... hmmm well sounds like the consensus is that she is that bad. Too bad. Maybe I'll try the 2sunny suggestion, she brought it up anyways, can't hurt.
2sunny Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 lol... hmmm well sounds like the consensus is that she is that bad. Too bad. Maybe I'll try the 2sunny suggestion, she brought it up anyways, can't hurt. exactly, she brought it up. and don't allow her to require you to call her everyday either. you set the rules YOU are comfortable with and don't let her manipulate you into something different because she will try. if she doesn't like it she can disappear. the energy you may have to spend keeping her at arms length may not be worth it though... her type that are this needy are too much work with too many demands for it to even be fun... yep, it just takes all the fun out of it.
Tiz Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 I dont think that it's quite that bad. I mostly want to make sure I dont dig myself into a corner; and hence pull apart more grilled cheese sandwiches. Her actions are like a looking glass into her brain, and setting rules won't make things any better. In my opinion needy people rarely change for someone else. You make the call if that's something you want to get involved in.
dreamergrl Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Man, the corner you get backed into is going to be even worse if you don't end this crap now.
JustLooking123 Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 I'm exhausted just reading your post; I can only imagine what it's like to date someone like this. I agree that YOU need to set some boundaries/limits here. Her response to that will tell you a lot.
dreamergrl Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 I'm very curious.. how do you keep ending up with psychos? You are in a cycle.. a pattern. Time to get out of it.
Author canadaguy98 Posted November 5, 2009 Author Posted November 5, 2009 well maybe as much as I like her the doubters here may be right. i talked to her at 2PM today after the whole "its ok if you dont want to come shopping so you can work" fisaco, she was all over how I dont spend any time with her and I was firm and told her I would call her later tonight now 4 hours later she calls and has this big "so what your not going to call me back" thing and says that we need to talk and she's going to return her hoodie and come straight over like ... fawk. i saw her from 2pm - 4pm yesterday, then from 8pm yesterday until 11am this morning. then I saw her off with a kiss and by 2pm she was upset and and yapping with me on the phone about it then 6:30pm she's needing to have "a talk". Jeezus I just wanted to relax tonight and have a few drinks and get some work done now I'm in for all this crap and to boot, all the hanky panky was initiated BY HER, twice this morning and once last night, its not like I'm trying to bang her and send her packing. I had to turn her down for the third time this am because i needed to recharge a bit, then she had the nerve to say it felt like a wham bam thankyou mam to her after I sat with her for four hours in bed and served her coffee while she sat comfy under the covers god this is getting insane
Author canadaguy98 Posted November 5, 2009 Author Posted November 5, 2009 I'm very curious.. how do you keep ending up with psychos? You are in a cycle.. a pattern. Time to get out of it. I'm very curious.. how do you keep ending up with psychos? You are in a cycle.. a pattern. Time to get out of it. [/qote] No doubt. I have tried online offline, random meetings by happenchance through friends not through friends, roomates and girls I bumped into and just hit on. Must have a "wackos come get this sucker" tattooed in wacko-viewable-only ink on my forehead. I'm a nice kind normal guy without a bunch of crazy ass tatooos, I dress conservatively in khakis and normally in dress shirts, I'm an IT professional who works from home who also does paintball on the weekends and I run my own business I dont know what the hell I did in a previous life to deserve this crap... i've been good to every girlfriend I've ever had no cheating lying beating nothing. all I want is a nice girl to settle down with and I'm willing to take the time to get there no big rush I'm not desperate I can get laid any time I want I'm attractive enough and I've been told so by multiple sources *sigh* My wacko streak is really taking a chunk outta me
Tiz Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 well maybe as much as I like her the doubters here may be right. i talked to her at 2PM today after the whole "its ok if you dont want to come shopping so you can work" fisaco, she was all over how I dont spend any time with her and I was firm and told her I would call her later tonight now 4 hours later she calls and has this big "so what your not going to call me back" thing and says that we need to talk and she's going to return her hoodie and come straight over like ... fawk. i saw her from 2pm - 4pm yesterday, then from 8pm yesterday until 11am this morning. then I saw her off with a kiss and by 2pm she was upset and and yapping with me on the phone about it then 6:30pm she's needing to have "a talk". Jeezus I just wanted to relax tonight and have a few drinks and get some work done now I'm in for all this crap and to boot, all the hanky panky was initiated BY HER, twice this morning and once last night, its not like I'm trying to bang her and send her packing. I had to turn her down for the third time this am because i needed to recharge a bit, then she had the nerve to say it felt like a wham bam thankyou mam to her after I sat with her for four hours in bed and served her coffee while she sat comfy under the covers god this is getting insane The answer is right in front of you. Something tells me you're enjoying this.
dreamergrl Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 I just might have to agree with Tiz. You keep ending up with whackos. You keep catering to this one. You never use the word no. Either you're lacking a back bone or you like all the drama.
Author canadaguy98 Posted November 5, 2009 Author Posted November 5, 2009 I was saying no to her thats the thing thats when it went from a bit strange to worse As in, "No I dont want to stay at your house tonight" and "No I dont want to go shopping with you today" Wackos can be so nice and normal for the first month or two... It takes a while for the strangeness to come out. And trust me... I HATE drama. I deal with it in my paintball club all the time. I deal with enough warring A-types on a daily basis I sure as hell dont need that in a girl
2sunny Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 I was saying no to her thats the thing thats when it went from a bit strange to worse As in, "No I dont want to stay at your house tonight" and "No I dont want to go shopping with you today" Wackos can be so nice and normal for the first month or two... It takes a while for the strangeness to come out. And trust me... I HATE drama. I deal with it in my paintball club all the time. I deal with enough warring A-types on a daily basis I sure as hell dont need that in a girl then just tell her no - as in, NO MORE! looks like this needy creep is all about having things ONLY her way... this is never fun. not only does she look needy - she looks desperate and lonely with no life and no outside interests, that's not at all attractive on anyone.
Tiz Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 I was saying no to her thats the thing thats when it went from a bit strange to worse As in, "No I dont want to stay at your house tonight" and "No I dont want to go shopping with you today" Wackos can be so nice and normal for the first month or two... It takes a while for the strangeness to come out. And trust me... I HATE drama. I deal with it in my paintball club all the time. I deal with enough warring A-types on a daily basis I sure as hell dont need that in a girl Then give us one good reason why you would stay in this relationship.
dreamergrl Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Then give us one good reason why you would stay in this relationship. And.. "She's nice" doesn't count.
Tiz Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 I was saying no to her thats the thing thats when it went from a bit strange to worse As in, "No I dont want to stay at your house tonight" and "No I dont want to go shopping with you today" Wackos can be so nice and normal for the first month or two... It takes a while for the strangeness to come out. And trust me... I HATE drama. I deal with it in my paintball club all the time. I deal with enough warring A-types on a daily basis I sure as hell dont need that in a girl You're calling your girlfriend a wacko and implying she's not normal. Is that what you're about?
terra Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Hey Canadaguy, I would cut your losses and run.. Tell her to keep the hoodie. I remember after about 6 or 7 maybe even 8 months of dating my boyfriend we ended up talking on the phone once a day. I remember being a bit freaked out that it was too much contact that he might think I was needy or something. I can't imagine conducting myself the way she is. Shows immaturity. She is crazy and it will only get worse. Does she not have her own life? Move on!
Recommended Posts