Thornton Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 I decide to look at the pics we took over the weekend on my guy's camera. Well I looked through them, and went one too far apparently because I came across a picture of my guy and some girl kissing in bed, and of her boobs. She wasn't very attractive. I turned it off before I looked any further. That kissing picture might have been recent, because it was one pic before our weekend pictures. But then again, I've been with him pretty much every night this week. I don't want to bring it up, because I don't want him to think I was snooping on him. I wasn't. If you're concerned about this (which you should be!) then you have every right to raise the issue with him. You weren't snooping - fair enough, but you still saw the photos and you deserve some answers. What you should have done is checked back a bit further to see if you could identify when the photos of him and this girl were taken. Given his suspicious behaviour and his friends' disgusting attitudes, I wouldn't be surprised if the photos were taken while you were dating. What kind of guy allows his friends to photograph him with a naked girl? (because if he was in the photo then someone else must have taken it!) What kind of slut allows someone to photograph her naked while she's in bed with a guy? Come to think of it, what kind of idiot allows his girlfriend to handle a camera which contains naked photos of him with another girl, and why hasn't he deleted them? This is a huge red flag. Another thing. A few of his (close) friends are just pure pigs. In front of me, they were professing they lower their standards and will sleep with just about any semi-attractive person with a vagina, just to get off. Are men usually similar to who they hang out with? And are all men pigs? Serious question. No, all men are not pigs - however his friends certainly are! If my friends talked like that, they wouldn't be my friends for much longer, because frankly I find it disgusting. It's even more disgusting that they considered it acceptable to talk about such things in front of a lady. If his friends behave like that, then I'm sorry to say that your bf probably behaves like that too when you're not around, or at the very least he condones such behaviour. This is another huge red flag.
Krytie TV Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 And the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. If all his friends are like that then, well... Overall I get a bad feeling about this guy. Be very, very careful. I would hate to see you become a victim of STDs because he makes you curious.
Pink Cupcakes Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 the pics were a setup and he wanted you to see them to prove to you that he's not gay (which he actually is.) it is not difficult in a partying situation to get a woman to take her top off, flop into bed and get a picture taken with you while you're both smashed. He knew there would be a good chance you'd see the pics - voila - you have visual "proof" that he's not gay, a fact that he's desperately trying to hide from you while (desperately) telling you to get off of him.
sedgwick Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 (edited) Yikes! Sounds like a tough situation. I think it would be okay to just ask him about the pics! But I agree with everyone else, his friends' attitudes are a big red flag! Edited November 10, 2009 by sedgwick
Author t0ri Posted November 10, 2009 Author Posted November 10, 2009 the pics were a setup and he wanted you to see them to prove to you that he's not gay (which he actually is.) it is not difficult in a partying situation to get a woman to take her top off, flop into bed and get a picture taken with you while you're both smashed. He knew there would be a good chance you'd see the pics - voila - you have visual "proof" that he's not gay, a fact that he's desperately trying to hide from you while (desperately) telling you to get off of him.I honestly don't think the pics were a setup, and I don't think he's gay. Why would a gay man adamantly pursue me, then set me up to see pictures of him with another chick in her bra, to prove to me he's not gay? Wouldn't I already assume he's not, since he's pursuing me? I would think a man would know that setup would turn/piss me off, if anything. The pics of him and the girl were taken by them holding the camera out in front of them and taking them themselves. Anyway, I've kept my distance since that night, but have heard from him every day and turned down hanging out with him last night. He then asked how I feel about "us," and proceeded to tell me he gets a little scared because he's not used to liking someone as much as me, he feels like he's the only one "trying" with us because he's the first to contact me always, etc. This conversation led to me telling him about the pics. He told me that the girl in the pics is his ex that he's told me about. I kind of believe him because nearly all of his belongings were in storage up until this weekend when we hung out with our friends. (He was in the process of moving.) But I agree about his friend's attitudes, and I was shocked one of them was saying what he was saying in front of me. I was the only girl there, but still. Really shocked me, and clearly got my attention as a possible red flag. His friends have said that he "doesn't get a lot of girls" and that I'm the most attractive he's been with. I don't know. Like I said before, I don't really see it working out with this one. There are other factors in addition to this whole situation that are telling me he's not the right one for me.
Pink Cupcakes Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 You seem to get off on the fact that you're supposedly more attractive than the other girls he's dated, and you made a point of stating that the girl in the pic wasn't very attractive. I think this guy is taking it slow because he senses what a shallow b**ch you are, and he wants a woman with more depth, and he keeps hanging out with you, hoping this depth will come out, but he hasn't yet.
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