jones1990 Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 This girl used to be in my university class for a year. I used to think she's out of my league and all that, but this summer we met at a club and 2 days later we hooked up. We'd go out every day, she'd call me, text me, asking me how my day was and all that. Just before we hooked up, she'd been dating some guy for 2 years and she broke up with him when we started dating (dont know if it was for me, now she says it wasn't). She even proposed that we arrange our class schedules to be similar. We went out very frequently for a month and these were one of the happiest days of my life. After that month, one night I was acting kind of foolishly (but very trivial things, almost as if she was looking for an excuse), she said she wants to be single and be seeing other guys, but we can still go out. I didn't take it very well at all, but I took it passively and wasn't angry or crude. For the next week or so, I felt extremely miserable and I'd see all these guys post on her wall saying "when am I gonna see you again" etc. School started and I asked her what's happening between us and she said that she just wants to be friends. it's been a month and a half from that break-up point now and I still feel miserable, constantly thinking about it I see her/sit with her and her friends in 2 of my classes and I keep putting on a happy face, but it just kills me. I even took anti depressants a couple of times. She doesn't seem to show any remorse or intimate feelings, she doesn't initiate conversations on facebook or text me anymore. It's tormenting me and I don't want to keep doing this any longer. I'm debating whether or not to just delete her on Fb, and sit somewhere far where I cant see her so I can just completely forget about her as if any of this never happened, but somehow I still cling on to the hope that she'll come around and get back with me. She's a great person and that's why it torments me so much. What should I do? Thanks
boogieboy Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 She probably wont get back with you, so if it makes you feel better and move on by not being her friend and to stop talking to her, do it. It does not help you heal by hanging onto her.
Brady_to_Moss Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 Just tell her you cant be friends anymore..she found someone else or just was using you..who knows...girls do this to us guys so get use to it
Roxanna Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 So just stop talking to her. Sounds like either she just can't be single and has someone else lined up, or she needed to use you to break up with her bf and make the transition easier.
terra Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 Yes! Delete her from your facebook, sit far away, the sooner you forget her, the sooner you can move on and find someone more deserving of your company and love.
Chrome Barracuda Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 Well start dating one of her friends and have sex with them, and let everyone know your getting some on the side. I mean if she is just a friend to you than she should be happy about it... But if your not being a vindictive bastard or dont have the heart to do so. than just dont talk to her. Get No Contact and keep it that way.
Chrome Barracuda Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 Do not join her army of helper monkeys. LMAO, good one!
Dark-Farmer Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 Sorry to say but it seems like just a summer fling, and she didn't have the same emotional investment you did. Like you said she just split with her bf. Also your in college lots of her friend and people she knew probably went away for the summer. You said you thought she was out of your league maybe she just wanted a familiar face to keep her company for the summer. Sorry man! sucks but gotta move on.
BlueHarvest Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 This was stated in another thread and it's something I'd like to see an in-depth analysis of, because of it's "ill use" but ...99% of the time when a girl says they want to be friends that's their way of breaking up, but without saying "I don't want to see you anymore". In my experience, most girls don't actually want to be friends, they are breaking up "nicely". From my point of view it's a coward's way out. They are lieing to you straight up, and if someone is going to lie to you...how can you care about them? I hate it, it sucks, move on is all I can say. No contact is the best solution becuase it sounds like you were far more enamored with her then she was with you.
Author jones1990 Posted October 5, 2009 Author Posted October 5, 2009 (edited) She is deleted, now I guess I'll stop sitting besides her...man, it's a tough world out there. We'll see how this pans out. Thank you PS: If I end up seeing her somewhere in college or wherever, what do you think I should say to her? Should I ignore her? Should I be all dramatic and say "I regret ever meeting you...never talk to me again" (cause sometimes I think that would have been better) or should I be "cold nice" where I put on a $1 smile and say that i'd be nice if we don't communicate anymore? What do you guys think? Edited October 5, 2009 by jones1990
sumdude Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 She is deleted, now I guess I'll stop sitting besides her...man, it's a tough world out there. We'll see how this pans out. Thank you PS: If I end up seeing her somewhere in college or wherever, what do you think I should say to her? Should I ignore her? Should I be all dramatic and say "I regret ever meeting you...never talk to me again" (cause sometimes I think that would have been better) or should I be "cold nice" where I put on a $1 smile and say that i'd be nice if we don't communicate anymore? What do you guys think? Be distant yet decent. Treat her as an acquaintance, someone you used to know. Just a quick wave, maybe smile and keep walking. Sucks that things didn't work out but she didn't really do you wrong. Life is too short to hold on to resentment. For now though total NC till you're over the whole thing. Right now I'm going through a similar thing. Had a friend turn into a FWB then she ended it. I'm trying to stay friends. It's really a challenge but I think it's worth it.
Author jones1990 Posted October 22, 2009 Author Posted October 22, 2009 Well I don't know if it's that big...She's been talking to my friends asking what happened to me, where I went ( I blocked her on Fb and I don't talk to her anymore, nor sit) and saying that she wants to talk to me, why I don't reply to her texts (she sent me a couple of minor school-related texts, which I ignored). She also texted me couple of days ago asking if she can call me, which I again, disregarded...What's happening here? What do you think she wants? Is she liking this just because I'm not giving her attention anymore? Thanks
boogieboy Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 Yeah she just wants the friendship that she cant have, and it doesnt mean she wants to date you. She wants to try to lure you into giving her attention again, probably because shes not getting enuf attention from the guy shes seeing. So keep ignoring her, it will be better for your well being. If you start talking to her again, you will just spiral downward again.
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 Well I don't know if it's that big...She's been talking to my friends asking what happened to me, where I went ( I blocked her on Fb and I don't talk to her anymore, nor sit) and saying that she wants to talk to me, why I don't reply to her texts (she sent me a couple of minor school-related texts, which I ignored). She also texted me couple of days ago asking if she can call me, which I again, disregarded...What's happening here? What do you think she wants? Is she liking this just because I'm not giving her attention anymore? Thanks I just wanted to give you kudos for sticking to your guns and ignoring her. Seriously - that's not easy. Sounds like one of those girls (unfortunately, there are a lot of them) that wants what she can't have. I'd keep it up with the ignoring. It's the only thing that's going to bring your sanity back.
salem mark Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 your in college this will happen many times, college girls are very fickle, because they are girls (immature) my advice, work on you and hit on everything that moves
salem mark Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 until she knocks on your front door begging you to take her back, ignore her
BG1985 Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 I agree with these other guys. Girls thrive on attention. Don't plan on dating her again though. I'm not saying it CAN'T happen, but it's unlikely, especially if you try to initiate. Just try to find some other broads on the side.
CaliGuy Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 You are not required to be her friend. Being friends with her makes HER feel better, not you. Don't be mean to her, just don't hang out with her. Hang out with your friends and try and put her out of your mind. You can do it if you are disciplined and love/respect yourself.
Author jones1990 Posted October 22, 2009 Author Posted October 22, 2009 I guess you guys are right, but she did say she misses hanging out with us (me and my friends), because we're so funny (yeah, we're that funny) and all that. I was ready to take that as a hint...maybe we get together at some pub like the old times, maybe something happens there, but I guess that's not proof enough...
BG1985 Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 My ex-girlfriend used to tell me that she missed me. She probably still does, and I'm sure your girl does really miss you. For some reason, it didn't work out. She misses the old you and the way y'all used to be. Things change, people change. Don't be a drama queen with this girl, and try to enjoy life to its fullest. You'll find someone else. If this girl wanted to be with you, she'd be with you. Don't fall into the trap of overanalyzing her. That's what chicks do.
phineas Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 If this girl wanted to be with you, she'd be with you. This is pretty much all you need to know. Also, if you keep her around she will most deffinetly cockblock you if you start talking to another girl in her pressence.
Johnny_Rocket Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 I guess you guys are right, but she did say she misses hanging out with us (me and my friends), because we're so funny (yeah, we're that funny) and all that. I was ready to take that as a hint...maybe we get together at some pub like the old times, maybe something happens there, but I guess that's not proof enough... Exactly! She misses feeling wanted and wants to be accepted even though she did a despicable thing to you. You did the right thing! And in my opinion, if she gets up the nerve to ask you about why you cut her out of your social network, you should clue her in on exactly how vile her actions were.
Mr Fractal Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 Exactly! She misses feeling wanted and wants to be accepted even though she did a despicable thing to you. You did the right thing! And in my opinion, if she gets up the nerve to ask you about why you cut her out of your social network, you should clue her in on exactly how vile her actions were. First off. I'm just guessing as there isn't enough clear info to go on, but it sounds like she may have had an opportunity to hookup with someone else (if she hadn't already briefly beforehand) and decided she preferred the other guy. Then it broke off between her and her new bf and she was ready to get together once again. That is until the next more interesting opportunity comes along.
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