emmylou84 Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 I have been with my partner for 3 and half years now. About 18 months ago i found out he had been having online cybersex with 2 women. He had even gone as far as having phone sex and exchanging photos and even webcam sessions with one of them. I confronted him becasue I had my suspicions and the way he had been around me the last 6 months had been so different. He denied it initially but then broke down in tears claiming it was a part of him that he couldnt control and he had wanted to stop it but it had a hold of him. After dragging all the sordid details out of him I cautiously agreed to give it another go and he dropped to his knees and said that he would never do anything to put our relationship in jeopardy again. Since then I have found that he has several msn accounts that I 'supposedly' do not know about depsite the fact that on several occasions we have discussed how we both feel about secrets (i know he get jealous at times too) which is why we agreed to keep everything out in the open becasue we both have nothing to hide. Today i found a converstaion that he had had with another guy discussing the possibilty of my boyfriend meeting up with them and 'f**King' his wife infront of him!!!! this couple live in the town next to us!!! Shocked heartbroken and appalled I dont know what to do!!!! We are already going through a traumatic time at the moment with a family death and i dont want to cause undue styress but I dont think I can let this go! I love him more than anything but I dont trust him anymore! Please help!! ( Ps my boyfriend only had one girlfriend before me and has had limited experience with other women...dont know if you think this makes a difference? He is 28 and im 25) Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 He has continued to show the true side of himself after telling you he wouldn't do anything else to jeopardize your relationship...so you are still with him why? You love him? I'm sure you do, BUT that is not going to be all there is to make a relationship work. Are you lacking in the self respect and self confidence department? If, so, perhaps this is why you're still with him. Once you know and believe that you deserve better, you might be able to break free from this kind of unhealthy relationship. he is NOT thinking of you or you and him, he is thinking of himself! Good luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmasMuse Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 "When is enough, enough?" It's enough when YOU say its enough and move on. He is not wanting a relationship with just you. He has no business in a relationship anyway, he wants to keep playing around. Just because he tells you he loves you and will not do it again, or cry's and begs...means nothing at all..Actions speak louder than words..and his words and actions are NOT matching up. Link to post Share on other sites
shoesies05 Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 enough was when he denied what he did. because not only was he going behind your back with the cybersex, but he also lied to you when caught red handed. Then explains that he can't "control it"... im sorry, but since when can we not contain ourselves? you put in a good effort trying to be with him. Id say now is the time to move on. there are people out there that you can trust and wont do this to you. just stick to your guns and tell yourself that you deserve a better life than this- even if he begs you to stay and says all those sweet things he knows you want to hear. many people have left those who have betrayed them, and you can do the same... good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
gopher Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 He will eventually meet someone for sex....he keeps taking baby steps to get there, and even though he may tell you and himself that he will never do anything. He will! I think you need to think about yourself... Link to post Share on other sites
JeezLouise Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 When is enough enough? Now. Or yesterday. Your choice. Link to post Share on other sites
love2dance Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 He could already be putting you in danger by having sex with random people..I think it is already enough..but you should get tested and have a long talk with him.. Link to post Share on other sites
Mainroads Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 I know its hard to say just end a 3 year relationship with somone you love. Though I belive once most guys cross that line he has, they dont go back hes looking for somthing else, one day he will look back an work out what he has lost for his actions. If I was you I wouldn't waste my time in a circle of pain. not all guys are this way, its somthing no women should have to put up with. Link to post Share on other sites
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