Biggie25x Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 I have been married to my STBXW for 7 years and lived together for 4 before that. Last week we argued and she decided to end the marriage. There were mistakes on both sides and hopefully it makes me a better person. It has been rocky for a while so I couldn't say I didn't see it coming. We both knew where we stood, we just couldn't find our way around the issues. I know what messed me up and added a lot of resentment in me is that she never would move closer to my family. We lived 2200 miles away and it was very expensive to fly home. I ended up only seeing my family for a week every 2 to 3 years. So we had issues and I think we will be happier this way. The problem I have is that while my mind says this, my heart still hurts thinking of my life without her. I did love her and I know she loved me. We are never going to be together again. I still see myself dying with her....In my heart. My brain says that it was bad, we argued a lot and ....it just didn't work. Will my heart ever catch up with my head? I think I'm over everything, not missing her and than, Bam! It hits me, I'm never going to be with her again. My head tells me its okay, but my heart doesn't care. Will I find anyone else, will I be able to date again, how do you start over after 12 years?
trying123 Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 My post will not be that helpful but I can try to bring some insight. I have been with this girl on and off for around five years. I just recently broke up with her. I know it was not going to work, I know that we just weren't right for each other. I too thought that I was going to get married to this girl, have kinds get a dog, and all that good stuff. But I guess I know its done. I hurt everyday, but everyday a little less. I know that life is too short. One thing I have to ask myself is if we just started dating, would I be ok with her. If we did not have this history, would everything work out. you guys just don't work, If you guys started dating when you were young, people change so much, don't blame yourself
Author Biggie25x Posted March 24, 2009 Author Posted March 24, 2009 Thanks Trying, You're right I was 21 when we met and she was 23. We both were still in college. A year later we moved in together. It seems at the beginning everything was going well but as time went on we changed and grew apart. The tough thing is I still love her. I just know she's not right for me and I'm not right for her. We don't work together. The toughest part is for me to realize I offered to do whatever it took to stay together. You know we are married we should do everything we can to compromise and make it work, even if at first they are little things. She doesn't want to and says the pain we caused each other was just too much. I often asked myself that as well through the years. If I didn't know her would I date her and if we had no history together would we be happier? She just couldn't forget or move past issues. Now, this is what my head says....the challenge will be to convince my heart.
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