4givrnt4gtr Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Ive been going out with my bf for three months now. When we met again (we knew each other a few years ago, we just reconnected) he had broken up with his gf of 5 years. He had broken up with her earlier in the year (last year) and was asking me out towards the end of the year. Still i kinda felt it was too soon and i was wondering if he was just rebounding. Anyhow i didnt agree to date him until 3 months later, when i was sure he actually liked me and not the idea of having someone around. At first it was clear he was still pretty bitter about his break up but recently it seemed like he was moving on pretty nicely and he hardly even mentioned her at all. Actually he mentioned how happy he was and how he hadnt felt this happinessin such a long time. Well, last weekend i asked him to show me some childhood pictures. WHen he took them out some pictures of him and his ex came flying out, along with a note she gave him a few years ago. He got kinda nervous and put those aside. After we went thru his childhood pictures I asked him to show me the other ones. He agreed and just kinda went thru them without much emotion. He also tossed the note into the trash and just kinda didnt say much more about it. Later he was in his computer, next to the trash where he had thrown the note. He turned around to talk to me and caught a glimpse of the note. His face immediately fell. His eyes became so very very sad but he kept trying to put a strong facade. I asked him if he was sad and he kept saying no...but seriously, it was impossible to hide. He just said that it just made him think of when she gave it to him and the context of it. I told him i understood if it made him sad, and that it was ok. He said that he didnt want to make me feel weird since it was an ex girlfriend .I told him i totally understood and that I couldnt blame him for it. I then got up and hugged him. He just held onto me for a while with his head in my chest and then got up saying he needed to use the restroom. So, though i completely understand how hurt he must be, it kinda worries me that it diminishes the importance of our relationship....that Im more like a rebound, help me out of this type of girlfriend.... What do you guys think?
sugarmomma Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 Just try to be a friend to him and give him time to grieve the other relationship. Give hima lot of space and don't pressure him and make things all serious between the two of you. He will heal over time.
hopesndreams Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 I don't see what happened as a rebound thing, I see it as he opened up to you and told you how he felt and you comforted him. I see it as a good thing BUT if he starts doing that on a weekly basis with you then I'd change my opinion on that.
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