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Where is the love?

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It has been a long time since i posted a mesage here. I just need to let this off my chest. I have been going out with my girlfreind for a while now and she says she loves me, and i love her blah blah etc... . The thing is that i KNOW she loves me but i dont feel it in my heart. My mind knows that she loves me but my heart doesnt feel it. Let me give you some details about the relationship which may cause this to occur. First of all i drive her every where she needs to go, if she has a craving for anything i get it to her. Basically you can say that i am whipped but do not accept this fact. I dont know what is wrong with me. We have had arguements about how i dont let her do anything in the relationship. I dont know why but everytime she does somethign for me i feel bad, i feel that she does cause she has to, i feel terrible that i made her do something like that. I dont know how to coope with this and change my attitude because it is ruining everything for me. Its because of me not feeling her love that i am always insecure about her but i know in my mind that she wont do anything. I just dont know what to do or how to deal with this? i need someone with some similarity or something to help me through this.


Thank you for your time

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Wow, it seems like you have a lot to think about!


I don't feel like I have enough info about your situation to be able to offer good advice, but perhaps you could consider talking about this with her?


Perhaps you could also refer to books, videos or what not that gives good tips on how to develop an open and loving relationship.


Lastly, you need to be open to the things that your GF does for you. It appears that she does try to do some things for you, but you are unwilling to accept them as sincere. Heck, it seems like she is at least trying!


But this raises another issue - why is it that you feel unworthy of her attention? (Or do you feel worthy just that she is not sincere?) Spend some time writing in a journal or figuring out where these feelings are coming from. If she is the one expressing reluctance or what not, then you have to ask yourself if she truly likes you. If, on the other hand, the doubts that you have are internally driven, then perhaps spending some time on yourself is the clue.


I believe there is a truth in the saying: You can only accept love from others to the extent that you love yourself.


I know it sounds trite, but there's something to that! So, if these feelings are internally driven, focus on yourself (not GF) to sort out the problem. Of course, it may be helpful if you turned to her for support in heling you sort this out. These could be key ingredients to make for a more authentic and intimate relationship anyway!


Good luck.

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Being whipped can suck. It can seem good for both parties for a while, but a relationship is all about trying to find the proper balance, right?


I think you need to communicate with her. TALK to her. God forbid. Tell her, and don't get into the routine of "I don't want to hurt her feelings because I don't want to be alone!!" Tell her that you feel kind of trampled. If she's worth you being trampled, she's worth knowing the truth. Pure and simple.





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