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Search: Posts Made By: ladydesigner
Forum: The Other Man / Woman 21st February 2019, 8:35 PM
Replies: 46
Views: 999
Posted By ladydesigner
So you would like to leave a marriage of...

So you would like to leave a marriage of convenience for a serial cheater... let me know how that works out for you!
Forum: The Other Man / Woman 14th February 2019, 7:47 PM
Replies: 35
Views: 1,334
Posted By ladydesigner
Savannah2 he sounds like he tries to make himself...

Savannah2 he sounds like he tries to make himself the victim at all costs. It's a very narcissistic trait.

Give yourself the gift of peace of mind and let him go and love yourself the most.
Forum: Infidelity 30th January 2019, 8:28 PM
Replies: 206
Views: 4,791
Posted By ladydesigner
My IC is a man and he always discusses this...

My IC is a man and he always discusses this dynamic in men that most men think this way. The difference is that mature and healthy men don't act out on these thoughts and desires.




I agree...
Forum: The Other Man / Woman 4th January 2019, 2:12 PM
Replies: 17
Views: 1,356
Posted By ladydesigner
Putting my xMOW hat here... my RA was over 10...

Putting my xMOW hat here... my RA was over 10 years ago and have been NC ever since. The A ending and implementing NC was the best thing I could do for myself and my healing. My WS is aware of my RA...
Forum: Infidelity 3rd January 2019, 8:05 PM
Replies: 93
Views: 4,651
Posted By ladydesigner
You are right about the bolded. I'm currently...

You are right about the bolded. I'm currently tolerating my M because of my WS's A... he no longer gets ego kibbles from me or the amounts of sex we used to have. In fact now my life is all about ME...
Forum: Infidelity 3rd January 2019, 8:01 PM
Replies: 93
Views: 4,651
Posted By ladydesigner
I haven't read the entire thread but this...

I haven't read the entire thread but this couldn't be more far from the truth. What should have been said is that A's ruin marriages and traumatize the BS.

I haven't been the same person since my...
Forum: Marriage & Life Partnerships 21st December 2018, 7:33 PM
Replies: 24
Views: 794
Posted By ladydesigner
My WS did this when I first met him, he was a...

My WS did this when I first met him, he was a bartender. That should have been my cue to run!
Forum: Infidelity 13th December 2018, 8:35 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,684
Posted By ladydesigner
My therapist constantly discusses the difference...

My therapist constantly discusses the difference between men and women and our thinking of love and sex. To be honest after reading what you wrote here and what has been discussed in my therapy I...
Forum: Infidelity 28th November 2018, 2:15 PM
Replies: 393
Views: 19,289
Posted By ladydesigner
I'm sorry Edith but I am in the camp that if this...

I'm sorry Edith but I am in the camp that if this has been going on for 10 years it is more than just the sex. He has been leading a double life. If you want to save your M you know what needs to...
Forum: General Relationship Discussion 27th November 2018, 8:05 PM
Replies: 20
Views: 990
Posted By ladydesigner
I am a BS first but also a WS (I am a madhatter)...

I am a BS first but also a WS (I am a madhatter) just for some background. I am nowhere near the person I originally was and have not been able to get back to the person I was pre D-Day.

The...
Forum: The Other Man / Woman 27th November 2018, 7:50 PM
Replies: 57
Views: 6,212
Posted By ladydesigner
Just from the way he spoke to you after being...

Just from the way he spoke to you after being ghosted should be enough. He is not only using you for sex but abusing you and he does sound NPD the way he tries to put some kind of blame on you.
...
Forum: The Other Man / Woman 27th November 2018, 5:16 PM
Replies: 28
Views: 3,292
Posted By ladydesigner
OP why are you so focused on the BS? This is the...

OP why are you so focused on the BS? This is the same thing that is told to us BS's when we take issue with OW/OM after D Day why focus on the OW?... and they are right you should be focused on why...
Forum: Infidelity 20th November 2018, 7:34 PM
Replies: 84
Views: 3,224
Posted By ladydesigner
Because she doesn't know WHO she is really...

Because she doesn't know WHO she is really married to... or maybe she is like me and stays for the financial situation, stability for the kids, and history shared.
Forum: Infidelity 16th November 2018, 3:44 PM
Replies: 84
Views: 3,224
Posted By ladydesigner
I think the OP is here to stir the pot :rolleyes:

I think the OP is here to stir the pot :rolleyes:
Forum: The Other Man / Woman 26th October 2018, 7:38 PM
Replies: 29
Views: 1,073
Posted By ladydesigner
A He should be in NC if he wants his M to...

A

He should be in NC if he wants his M to work. His wife is probably worried you are both still in contact. The M will never heal that way and neither will you.

I am a FMOW and a BS many times...
Forum: Infidelity 25th October 2018, 5:54 PM
Replies: 37
Views: 2,146
Posted By ladydesigner
This doesn't sound like an A yet. She is...

This doesn't sound like an A yet. She is definitely on the slippery slope and possibly testing the waters. I don't know why else all the staring or flirting would be happening.

I would cut out...
Forum: The Other Man / Woman 18th October 2018, 11:44 AM
Replies: 57
Views: 4,451
Posted By ladydesigner
You absolutely did the right thing for you. The...

You absolutely did the right thing for you. The answers to all of your questions is the dreaded word time. It takes time to get over these things. It may take years but eventually you will get to a...
Forum: The Other Man / Woman 18th October 2018, 11:26 AM
Replies: 18
Views: 2,895
Posted By ladydesigner
Affairs are exactly like an addiction. The...

Affairs are exactly like an addiction. The withdraws are just as bad, but as more time passes you begin to heal, but it takes time and NC. It's not easy at all but doable. I hope you find the...
Forum: The Other Man / Woman 18th October 2018, 11:23 AM
Replies: 148
Views: 5,082
Posted By ladydesigner
Start dating other women. Maybe she will sH*t or...

Start dating other women. Maybe she will sH*t or get off the pot then. If not you will already be making moves to turn your life in another direction. Take control of your life that's all you really...
Forum: Infidelity 17th October 2018, 7:21 PM
Replies: 76
Views: 5,260
Posted By ladydesigner
I'm sorry but no loving your wife simultaneously...

I'm sorry but no loving your wife simultaneously while having an A is not love at all. I don't know where you get your definition of love from, but that is not it.

Best answer on this thread is...
Forum: The Other Man / Woman 17th October 2018, 5:55 PM
Replies: 148
Views: 5,082
Posted By ladydesigner
OP you keep saying how great of a woman she is....

OP you keep saying how great of a woman she is. For a person to carry on a double life for YEARS is not a great person. Really think about that for a second. That is some major deception, lying,...
Forum: Infidelity 9th October 2018, 2:57 PM
Replies: 12
Views: 1,892
Posted By ladydesigner
Not married and no kids together? You dodged a...

Not married and no kids together? You dodged a bullet! This would have been your future had you married him. I would ask him not to contact you anymore and that you have moved on and he should too...
Forum: Infidelity 8th October 2018, 5:05 PM
Replies: 108
Views: 7,768
Posted By ladydesigner
By going to see your own therapist. Your wife...

By going to see your own therapist. Your wife should have her own. There should be no marriage counseling at this point. You have way too many issues OP and the peeling of the onion is look deep...
Forum: The Other Man / Woman 8th October 2018, 4:25 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,041
Posted By ladydesigner
I agree tell his wife then go NC and don't go...

I agree tell his wife then go NC and don't go down the slippery slope again. Even if the OW does win the MM they really are winning a professional liar then you have to always watch your back and who...
Forum: The Other Man / Woman 8th October 2018, 2:55 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 5,925
Posted By ladydesigner
The WS creates the situation of chaos honestly...

The WS creates the situation of chaos honestly why does anyone care that the WS is suffering. OP good on you for going NC!
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