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Dazed and !!!


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My ex boyfriend of 4 years and i were very close and we went through akot together but last year, he started withdrawing from me because of things he did and he got in touch with an old friend through another friend. well, i moved out of the house we had in this past Dec. Oh yeah, we were engaged soo, after i moved out, he got me an apartment in his name and a vehicle, after i left he told me that he was sorry for everything he had done to me and that he was brginning to SEE me again in a way that he had forgotten and he didn't know which way his life was heading. we kept sleeping together since i moved out and when my birthday came, he took me out on the town and we had a wonderful time and i felt like oh well he lied a few times because he wasn't sure of how to be open with me and i started to feel like i were beginning to see who i was apart from him but i was still in love with him even after all he had done. recently, i found out over the net that he married another woman, the woman whom i found letters from before i moved out, i confronted him about it and he broke down and told me that he made a mistake, he said he thought that she would be something more than i was but now he realizes that shes not and that he thought he could grow to love her and he would stop thinking about me, he came by last week and gave my daughter (who's not his child) 200 dollars to by what she wants for school and he always makes sure that we have what we need. sometimes he come s over and just holds me and we talk for hours and he says that we don't have to have sex, he just enjoys being around me, although he is obviously aroused, he keeps his word, recently, we slept together and i feel so bad and he tells me that his marriage to her won't last, so tell me, am i in denial or is it possible that he is being for real about his feelings and i know he has lied in the past but now with everything in the open??? your thoughts please and if i weren't clear on somethings just ask because my mind is in scrambles right now:(

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whichwayisup

End it with him 100%. No contact, nothing. UNTIL he is free again to date you.

 

He's married to someone else and you don't want to be the OW. It also isn't fair to your child...He shouldn't be involved in your life like that, and get your child's hopes up. That's just wrong.

 

You are hurting yourself by being someone on the side for him. If he wants to be with you, then he'll get a divorce. If not, then he's being selfish and only wants what HE wants.

 

Remember, with men, sex can be just "sex" without love. I'm sure he cares for you alot, but if he was completely inlove with you he would not have married someone else and kept it from you - He'd be married to you now.

 

Plus, he's lied to you before, he's lying to his wife NOW - So why would you believe ANYthing that comes out of his mouth? He is going to hurt you, and you deserve better than that. Don't settle to be second or third in his life.

 

End it now before you get hurt.

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he tells me that his marriage to her won't last

 

Tell him, that you don't want to see him until or unless it's over, and that in meantime you are going to go on with your life. That if you are still free when he is free that you'd be happy to see him, but until then he needs to stay away.

 

Then do it.

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Thanks, Whichwayisup & Silktricks! I really needed to hear that and you both are right, guess I already knew and maybe i was looking for someone to pacify me...your words really helped me to stop kidding myself and use my brain and not my emotions...Thanks

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Is it me? Let me get this straight.

 

You were engaged. You moved out in December. He set you up, you kept sleeping together and WHEN did he get married in all of this?

 

You were with him for 4 years and it ended. Yet he "knew" someone from somewhere and just suddenly married her? Then realizes he made a mistake? Sounds to me like he is very messed up! And now he's doing everything and anything to get back in your life yet he's in a short marriage and not doing anything about it!

 

You need to back away! He needs to get his shyt in order! This is insane!

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Yes Movinon05, it is insane and i never thought that i would go through anything like this, i don't have any other family and for awhile he was all i knew and i kept telling myself that maybe he would change or maybe he's sincere now and when i see the responses from you all it's kinda like whoa! not only do i need to truly think about what's wrong with him but, i honestly think i need counseling for myself to see why i tolerated this behavior from him because clearly i have some issues as well, it's hard to ssay this about myself but honestly i had no one else to turn to for sound advice and so it just made a lot more clear for me to see what outsiders have to say and i hear the sirens loud and clear saying "Wake up stupid!!" and i needed that, thanks for being honest

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