BenThereDunThat Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 Talk me out of sending this link to my MM. I have not reached out to him since before I last wrote. But I would love for him to read this thread from start to finish. Although, I don't think his ego would allow him to recognize himself. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t94408/ Link to post Share on other sites
Fluffyllama Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 And what do you expect him to do with this? I know you think you'd be doing him a favor, teaching him a "lesson", whatever, but really you'd just be giving him more attention that he doesn't deserve from you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BenThereDunThat Posted August 2, 2006 Author Share Posted August 2, 2006 Hi Fluffy - you're right. Just looking for an excuse to reach out again. That's why I come here first! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BenThereDunThat Posted August 2, 2006 Author Share Posted August 2, 2006 But I was bad just a minute ago. I sent him an email asking him to take me out of his contacts. I took him out of mine long ago, but on MSN, because I accepted him the last time he requested to be added, it's like he's stuck there. So while I can keep him blocked, he's still in there. So, then I do the 'block/unblock' dance. It won't let me delete him entirely. Again, 1/2 excuse to reach out to him, 1/2 actual request to go away. (sigh) Link to post Share on other sites
scarletletter Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 Don't do it...just don't. It will make you look foolish and desperate. Take the high road. Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 don't do it, sl is right, it will make you look foolish and desperate. or he will just think, "she wants more"...don't do it..honestly, in a few weeks you will be glad you didn't. if i look back now i still regret anything other than ignoring him. i am still in that stage, and its not nice. you are on trying to stick to nc stage, but this one comes later, and you will regret anything other than dignified silence. you will get there, keep posting. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BenThereDunThat Posted August 2, 2006 Author Share Posted August 2, 2006 Well, I didn't send the first one thank goodness! But I did send the second one. Just a real curt, "Please remove me from your contact list." Not too bad, but I wish I hadn't sent it anyway. In the meantime, he hasn't done it. Of course he won't delete me now that I let him know that it's getting to me! AAARGHH!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BenThereDunThat Posted August 2, 2006 Author Share Posted August 2, 2006 Got two responses from him. First one just said "If that's what you want." Immediately followed by "I'm sorry. I'm sure that came across as lame and passive aggressive. What I really meant to say was simply this: I wish things could have worked out differently. I've removed you from my contacts." Translation to I wish things could have worked out differently: I wish we were still having sex!!! Good-bye and good riddance! Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 Either you're done with someone or you still have issues with them. Why not look at why you need to still involve yourself with them, patting them like a cat with a dead mouse. None of us can know... Link to post Share on other sites
Author BenThereDunThat Posted August 2, 2006 Author Share Posted August 2, 2006 Either you're done with someone or you still have issues with them. Why not look at why you need to still involve yourself with them, patting them like a cat with a dead mouse. None of us can know... Hi Sami, always good to hear from you. I think part of my problem is the fact that I work with him. He's done a good job of making sure to stay away and we're not in a position that we have to talk to each other as a part of our jobs. But the people he does need to talk to are near me and I can hear him. On Monday he was traveling and I had a great day! Come Tuesday, my stomach's a mess, my hands are sweating. Likewise today. I know I'll get through it though. Just takes time. The wounds are just too fresh right now. Blech! Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 hey, dont feel bad. if anything, sometimes contact and the response or lack of that we get, only reminds us of why we are doing nc to begin with. when i read his response to you i thought he sounded a bit pathetic. same as my exmm would sound, but i never recognised it at the time. it has taken awhile to get to this stage, and of course fun and dating normal people has helped. soon you will realise he isnt all that great at all. now, i bet you feel bad after the contact and wish you hadnt done it. remember this for next time you want to contact him. i havent contacted my exmm for awhile now, but i did at first a few times when i was still confused. for awhile i hoped he would show up or contact me. for a moment last night i thought he had, and i really hoped it wasnt him, luckily it wasnt. i feel nothing now for him. i wont go into details, but it hasnt been that long. you will get over it quicker than you think, but you have to see him for what he really is. he isnt that great, really. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BenThereDunThat Posted August 2, 2006 Author Share Posted August 2, 2006 hey, dont feel bad. if anything, sometimes contact and the response or lack of that we get, only reminds us of why we are doing nc to begin with. when i read his response to you i thought he sounded a bit pathetic. same as my exmm would sound, but i never recognised it at the time. it has taken awhile to get to this stage, and of course fun and dating normal people has helped. soon you will realise he isnt all that great at all. now, i bet you feel bad after the contact and wish you hadnt done it. remember this for next time you want to contact him. i havent contacted my exmm for awhile now, but i did at first a few times when i was still confused. for awhile i hoped he would show up or contact me. for a moment last night i thought he had, and i really hoped it wasnt him, luckily it wasnt. i feel nothing now for him. i wont go into details, but it hasnt been that long. you will get over it quicker than you think, but you have to see him for what he really is. he isnt that great, really. Thanks Newbby, I always refer to your responses when the going gets especially tough. I need constant reminders right now that I will get past this, he's not a good person, and the day will come when I no longer feel anything. I felt so great, so strong this morning! As the hours passed though, I got more and more down. I'm no longer concerned about contacting him though. Finally being able to delete him was a huge help too. Now I no longer pull it up every 5 seconds to see if he's still in there as having requested to be a contact. But believe me, if I ever do feel the urge to again, you guys will hear about it first! I'm so glad you guys are here! I hope I can be as helpful to the next poor soul going through this. Link to post Share on other sites
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