I am mad! I am furious!

[Blackcat]

Ok, so here is the situation and I hope all of you can give me your opinion, be it good or bad. I have been with a MM for about 6 months. Everything was going great and he decided that it was getting too emotional for him because he really fell for me. He wanted to "work on his marriage" and started therapy because he has a lot of things to work on with his marriage. Fine I said. He also used to go into those dating sites for MM to "talk" to other women, although he never could get over me. He hasn't been on those sites since he's trying to repair his marriage.

 

So I come to find out, two days ago, he went on that site again. So he's really trying to help his marriage, right? haha. Yet he can't see me? I am so furious at him. He doesn't know that I know he went on that site (he happened to write to someone I know). Should I confront him with it? Tell him, "nice you're working on your marriage, yet you still find time to go on that site?" lol

 

I want to hurt him so bad. I'm thinking of telling his wife what a complete lying piece of sh*t he really is. What would be the best thing to do?

[ww]

I want to hurt him so bad. I'm thinking of telling his wife what a complete lying piece of sh*t he really is. What would be the best thing to do?

 

Don`t do it. I know how you feel right now. I know you are angry. But please don`t do that. it won`t bring any good to not one of you or her.

If he is a piece of s***, there is nothing you can do to change him.

Just try to let go. Focus on othere things.

[whichwayisup]

The best thing you should do is let him go and concentrate on yourself. Who cares what he does/doesn't do. He wants to work on his marriage then let him and just exclude yourself from him completely. Out of sight out of mind seems to work for most, so keep yourself busy!

[LucreziaBorgia]

1. Should I confront him with it? Tell him, "nice you're working on your marriage, yet you still find time to go on that site?" lol

2. I want to hurt him so bad.

3. I'm thinking of telling his wife what a complete lying piece of sh*t he really is.

4. What would be the best thing to do?

 

1. You could, but I don't expect it would help any. It would ultimately end up hurting you.

2. Understandable.

3. You can, but don't expect her to take the OW word for it. Anything you say, she will take with a huge grain of salt given your motivation for telling her. She'll know that her H is messing around, but you can expect that 'kill the messenger' mentality is going to apply here.

4. If you want to push it, send the W something anonymously. That way she can begin to look into it herself, and not be distracted by the anger she is bound to feel toward you as the OW.

 

I'm pretty sure MM will catch hell, but ultimately - it will clear the air for him to really work on his marriage. It will work better for them, than for you though. They will work on a second chance. All you will get is residual anger and feelings of abandonment and betrayal.

 

The best thing for you is to simply walk away without doing anything. Go 'no contact' with this guy. No contact to or from, and concentrate on letting this go and moving forward.

[Horse]

Sounds like he just wants sex and that was his way of blowing you off when you got too attached.

 

Now that you're out of the picture, he needs to find another other woman for just sex.

 

Just a guess though.

[tanbark813]

So a guy who cheats on his wife turned out to be dishonest? Someone call Unsolved Mysteries.

[izzybelle]

blackcat,

 

i know EXACTLY how you feel. i had a brief encounter with an MM a number of years ago and heard much of the same stuff. falling for me was tearing him apart, he couldn't lead a double life, needed to give his marriage one more try, was in threapy, blah, blah, blah. well....i was at a party one night a few months later and there he was with another woman who wasn't his wife. it was pretty clear what was going on and he looked pretty sheepish when he saw me standing there and tried to cover. if looks could have killed! needless to say, he got caught with that one and all i can say is that i'm so glad i was out of the mess before all he!! broke loose.

 

don't do anything. just use the anger you feel to help you to let go. obviously, his word is worth nothing and so is he. i know it's hard to let go and hard to accept that we were "dumped" to work on a marriage they had no intention of working on. if they can't even by honest about why they ending a relationship, there's no reason to believe that they'd feel obligated to be honest to keep one working.

 

take care of yourself, but just let it go. let him hang himself and chances are, he will.

[Blackcat]

Thank you all for your opinions on this.

WWIU & ww: I know I should concentrate on myself...I just want him to get what is due him. I know that sounds so mean, but I'm so angry at this whole thing and I just want him to pay somehow.

 

LB: You are great. You give each of us something to think about. I know this is a terrible thing to say but maybe it won't be nice "giving it to him" but it sure would make me feel great. I don't know if I would ever tell the wife, but I would sure like to scare him somehow.

 

Izzy: That is exactly how I feel! The problem is, if he does hang himself, I probably won't find out about it. It's not like we work together, or go to the same places.

 

It's so easy to say move on, keep busy. I might not ever see him again, but I sure would like to scare the heck out of him. Any suggestions? lol

[Zaira]

Back off, and concentrate on getting yourself sorted out.

 

You probably should've realised that this guy will never change. At least you now have the chance to find someone decent.

[sami]

That's true. It's unfortunate there're many out there from both (girls and boys).