Bbz106 Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 Why would they wait until you’ve moved on with someone else to try and get back with you? He is divorcing supposedly and wants to know if there’s a chance. Why wouldn’t they say that before you moved on if that’s really what they wanted? I was devastated when he went back to his wife after they were separated but said he had to for his daughter. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 This happens all the time. It will not work out. He wants to disrupt your life. He doesn't want you but he also doesn't like the thought of someone else having you and you being able to move on. Bad for his ego so here he comes to see if he can still be your number one. It's just pettiness and jealousy and by no means should you go backwards. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 Did his daughter pass away (like die) or is it that it was just an excuse for a time? Hope you're not lining up to get with this prize pig... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 "He is divorcing, supposedly........."; why didn't you tell him to call you when he's actually divorced? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FoundMyStrength Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 Because they're selfish. Having an affair is selfish. Instead of treating their wife with the respect of marital therapy, talking through and working on their issues, or divorcing -- the good ole MM decides to have it all. So there's no reason to expect that this same selfish man will be any less selfish when dealing with the OW. Before, during, or after the affair. The truth is, he may not even know you're moving in with this man. Even if he does, he likely doesn't care. Because it is -- and has always been -- just about him. His needs, his wants, his timeline. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 He probably doesn’t know you move on, however, I’m sure the thought of it has been driving him nuts. I would ask for finalized divorce papers before you even open the lines of communication lest he suck you back in. Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 Why would they wait until you’ve moved on with someone else to try and get back with you? He is divorcing supposedly and wants to know if there’s a chance. Why wouldn’t they say that before you moved on if that’s really what they wanted? I was devastated when he went back to his wife after they were separated but said he had to for his daughter. easy. either because you're more interesting when you're more of a challenge (she's dating someone else? let's see if I can win her back!) or because he was busy soothing his wife's feathers for a while and pretending to be devoted to her. Maybe they're divorcing, or maybe he's lying to you that it's over with her and he's lying to her that it's over with you. If he really wanted you, as the special unique person that you are and not just as a booty call, he would have told you that earlier. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bbz106 Posted May 9, 2019 Author Share Posted May 9, 2019 He probably doesn’t know you move on, however, I’m sure the thought of it has been driving him nuts. I would ask for finalized divorce papers before you even open the lines of communication lest he suck you back in. He’s known for months now. I’m engaged. Hasn’t said anything about it until now. Link to post Share on other sites
Naivewomen Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 Proceed on with your life. He has lost his chance. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 Like everyone else has said, his motives are selfish. He's probably lying about divorcing and just doesn't want you to move on with someone else. Block him. Be done with him for good. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 He’s known for months now. I’m engaged. Hasn’t said anything about it until now. He is hoping you'll end your engagement and run to him. I doubt his is divorcing. Anyway I hope you just block him and forget him. You say you've moved on so don't give your exMM any more thought! Focus on your fiancee and how happy you are now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bbz106 Posted May 9, 2019 Author Share Posted May 9, 2019 He is hoping you'll end your engagement and run to him. I doubt his is divorcing. Anyway I hope you just block him and forget him. You say you've moved on so don't give your exMM any more thought! Focus on your fiancee and how happy you are now. I work with him Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 I work with him That is not a good situation. Can you change jobs or change departments? Does your fiance know about him? I think it is in the best interest of your relationship with your fiance to remove yourself from having daily contact with this man before it goes from bad to worse. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 ^^^^^ Agreeing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bbz106 Posted May 9, 2019 Author Share Posted May 9, 2019 (edited) That is not a good situation. Can you change jobs or change departments? Does your fiance know about him? I think it is in the best interest of your relationship with your fiance to remove yourself from having daily contact with this man before it goes from bad to worse. He actually doesn’t bother me at work. He does work at the same company but sometimes he makes it a point not to see me. He tried talking to me last year about what happened and apologizing. He asked me what he could do to make it up to me. I told him nothing. I just need to keep my distance. He has respected that but when he asked for another chance down the line he had been drinking and I said that I was in a good place right now so no chance. After that he has made it a point to avoid me. When he sees me he is either nice or he ignores me. I’m not going to lie - it did set me back a little having that conversation. Edited May 9, 2019 by Bbz106 Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 Keeping your toe in the door it sounds like. If you want to stand up straight you should really burn that bridge. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LIRR88 Posted May 12, 2019 Share Posted May 12, 2019 Lol, so now that he knows you’re happy and engaged he wants to know if there’s a chance? How convenient, he didn’t care about you when he went back to wifey, it’s time to lock that door and throw away the key. He had his chance and he blew it. And yes it’s like that, they always come back when you've moved on because men love the chase and they hate losing. Link to post Share on other sites
HadMeOverABarrel Posted May 12, 2019 Share Posted May 12, 2019 Proceed on with your life. He has lost his chance. ^^^^^^This, 100%! Link to post Share on other sites
oldlion Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 I'm not giving advice because only you know how you feel. I will tell you this, from this man's point of view. If I was your fiancé and I knew that even talking with him had "set you back", I would become unengaged. I would feel that you were in the process of marrying me while still having feelings for another man. Just by what you have written here, it would be obvious, to me, that you still have love for this married man and he still holds a big place in your heart. You either love me with all your heart or tell me the truth and cut me loose. I would see we would be starting married life with a problem that should never have been a problem. This is just what me, as a man, would see the situation. I do wish you well. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 oldlion has a good point. Are you tempted by xMM wanting to see you again? If you're truly over him and committed to your fiance, you shouldn't be interested enough to even make a post about it. Just something you should think about. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DumbCow Posted May 17, 2019 Share Posted May 17, 2019 How did your fiancé react when you first told him that your last relationship was with a MM? Was he understanding? Has he ever cheated on an ex? Has he ever been an affair partner? What’s your fiancés opinion about your ex now divorcing & contacting you? Is he jealous? Protective? Has he given you good advise? If you can’t answer the above questions because you are lying by omission to the man you plan to marry PLEASE STOP & do some real work on yourself. What kind of marriage & future do you want? What kind of foundation are you building for the rest of your life? Sorry - Ignore this post if you do have a healthy, open & honest relationship with your fiancé.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 18, 2019 Share Posted May 18, 2019 How did your fiancé react when you first told him that your last relationship was with a MM? I doubt she told him. OP, I can't believe the MM apologized to you and asked what he could do to make it up. You both need to apologize to his wife and he should be worrying about making it up to her. You went into this affair with your eyes wide open so you knew what you were doing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts