aklost101 Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 my mm's wife came into the place i work yesterday... does anyone out there think it was a casual shopping event? or more? such as she found out about her husband and i, and now she's scoping me out? any thoughts appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 She probably wanted to know what you look like. And is feeling out the situation. Keep your eyes open, she may come to talk to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author aklost101 Posted July 20, 2005 Author Share Posted July 20, 2005 so you definately don't think it was a casual shopping experience? i mean... she could *not* know about me, right? and if so she could just be coming in to pick up a few things.... and it could be just coincidence, right? i thought i was just freaking out, reading too much into it... ::panics:: Link to post Share on other sites
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 She knew !!! They all do the exploration trip first before the Shi* hits the fan. You are gonna have to face that you are gonna be found out sooner or later. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 I agree with Fly. She was scouting you out. Are you still with MM? If so, you should mention it to him. Be prepared for worst, expect nothing...If this woman is full of hate and resentment - She will come after you - Claws out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author aklost101 Posted July 20, 2005 Author Share Posted July 20, 2005 i suppose that might explain why MM has been distant lately... maybe she hinted at knowing and wanted to confirm my existance for herself by "visiting" me... and he's been staying low-key so as to not ruffle her feathers any further. should i mention her appearance to him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author aklost101 Posted July 20, 2005 Author Share Posted July 20, 2005 my job is near their house... she could have been in hundreds of times and i've never seen or noticed her before do you think, if she really was checking me out with the intention of "coming after me with claws out" (wwiu) she'd cause a scene at my work? or would she have the decency to wait until i'm in the parking lot? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 No, I doubt she'd do it at work...But she could follow you after work. I don't want to put fears into your head, but it's always a possibility. One never knows what someone is capable of when they find out their spouse is having an affair. Mention it to him. If he's distancing himself from you, something may be up. Take some time and space for YOU. Don't give him the power to have control over when you both see eachother. Make plans with friends and say no to him once in a while. Don't be so quick to say yes to him. The more you do that, the more control YOU gain back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author aklost101 Posted July 20, 2005 Author Share Posted July 20, 2005 i totally agree with you. he def. has the power between us, though i limit how much i let him know that. i've always maintained my own sense of self, my own friends and my own time. i operate on a day planner, he's just usually the one who fills it first, lol thanks for the advice and the heads up. even though you confirmed my worst fear about the MRS, i needed to hear it from someone outside my immediate realm. Link to post Share on other sites
Author aklost101 Posted July 20, 2005 Author Share Posted July 20, 2005 btw, please satisfy my own curiousity here; the two of you that are posting (which way is up and a fly on the wall) do either of you have experience with a similar situation? either as the wife who found out and did a trial sneak and peak or as the ow who was being scoped out? i gather from the phrase "they all do the exploration trip" that you have either been there done that or have known of quite a few situations where such an event has occurred. to the OW out there who have been watched by the W, how did you know it wasn't a casual happening w/o her knowing who you are and what you're doing to her H? thanks for the input folks! Link to post Share on other sites
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 Originally posted by aklost101 to the OW out there who have been watched by the W, how did you know it wasn't a casual happening w/o her knowing who you are and what you're doing to her H? Only through what happened to my stepmom and dad..But it was the reverse.. My dad had an affair and the OW did all the scouting out.. Creating fake broken down cars to use the phone at our house and stuff like that.. She also used to go to all my brothers high school football games and watch him play.. In my situation my Stepmom and the OW became sorta friends and used to talk about it with each other.. They both wound up dumping him in the end Link to post Share on other sites
shygurl Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 How the heck could anyone here respond with any certainty? - we don't know her or her intentions. If she lives close to where you work, she could have been there shopping (did she actually buy anything? Did she genuinely seem to be looking for something or was she just wandering around the shop kind of aimlessly?). Did she make eye contact with you? Did you catch her watching you? How do you even know what your MM's wife looks like? Why don't you just drop the MM, find someone who's single and then you won't have to worry about someone's wife checking you out and perhaps starting a scene in your workplace. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Aklost, you didn't present any information about your affair and you're asking people what they think. In a lack of info, I'd say if she didn't give you any special look or seemed interested in you in any sense, she doesn't know who you are. But we can't be sure. Whether your town is small, whether his friends know, whether neighbors have seen you, and many other things are important in order to know whether she might know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author aklost101 Posted July 21, 2005 Author Share Posted July 21, 2005 shy; i was simply asking an opinion based on said situation. *yes she bought something *i tried to avoid looking at her so i wouldn't be the one caught staring. *i know what she looks like b/c i've seen a pic of her *i know i should and deserve to find someone better. but i know you've read it on here before: it's easier said then done, and it wasn't supposed to end up this way RP; sometimes too much info clouds the opinions... ppl get caught up in the ethics and morals instead of the matter at hand. as to the details for your questions: *town is officially a "city" but is rather small... ehhh 30-50,000, my guess. i can look up the specifics if you want. technically she lives in a different township than i do, but that twnsp is *very* close to where i work *yes his friends know; we spent a couple nights drinking w/ them *neighbors may have seen us (not mine though) but i don't know his, so i'm not sure. he used to take me out of town all the time, but we rarely leave the area now (including her/their twnsp) *one time we ran into MM's friends wife while out any more details? just let me know. thanks for the replies Link to post Share on other sites
Author aklost101 Posted July 22, 2005 Author Share Posted July 22, 2005 she wasn't wearing a ring... does that mean anything to anyone? Link to post Share on other sites
StillHurtin Posted July 23, 2005 Share Posted July 23, 2005 Originally posted by aklost101 she wasn't wearing a ring... does that mean anything to anyone? The last time I heard someone that made a comment on a MW not wearing her wedding ring was about my H's exOW not wearing her wedding ring. A friend of mine called and asked me the same question you did about the ring, she said the OW wasn't wearing her ring anymore. There was rumors going around my H was having an A w/ this OW. Less than week later she filed a D from her H. But that isn't the same for every case. Sometimes I take my rings off to highlight my hair, house clean, ect and I forget to put my rings back on right away. At times I leave the house in a hurry. Just b/c I am not wearing my wedding ring doesn't mean I am not M. Maybe she does know he is having an A and has taken off her rings and wants a D, it's hard to tell. There could be many reasons why she didn't have her ring on. When I was the OW to a man in a CR I went into the store where his fiancee worked. I wasn't in there checking her out, it just happened to be my favorite clothing store in town and she just happened to start working there. As soon as I found out she was working there I stopped going b/c it made me feel so bad but I couldn't let go of him. I was young, stupid, and selfish. Link to post Share on other sites
soccorsilly Posted July 23, 2005 Share Posted July 23, 2005 You live in a small town and while it is probably that she could stop in on a coincidence, I am guessing in your situation it was planned. You are having an affair with a MM and it is his intention to keep it secret. What the hell are you all doing drinking with his buddys...running into the wives of friends...cavorting so the neighbors can see...he is asking to get caught and I suspect that he has been busted. There is a website called philanderers dot com that offers tips on how not to get caught and it seems like this dope broke all the rules. Link to post Share on other sites
Author aklost101 Posted July 23, 2005 Author Share Posted July 23, 2005 lol i may be one of the few OW around who doesn't want their MM to leave their W for themselves Link to post Share on other sites
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