surfer2000 Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 Well I am the MM and I told my story on the infidelity section but basically I use to have a thing going with a friend of mine who is married and I am married. We each helped each other with the same problem which is that our spouses don’t like sex and we both have huge sex drives and since we did not want to go pick up some stranger and have sex we both just played with each other. It started as us taking naked photos and emailing them to each other. Than we showed off on CAM at night and than we would meet up places and just feel each other and kiss. We both knew we were not trying to break up our marriages and we loved out spouses. Well she moved away and now we cannot see each other. I still like to share my pics and go on CAM because it is a way to release some sexual energy and I like the feeling of someone being interested in my body. Has anyone ever had a thing with a married person and it worked out as a side thing without causing issues for the marriage? I would love to find someone to fill that roll or even someone interested in showing off to. I know it sounds crazy but it actually helps me with my marriage. I am a much happier person when I can let go of some of the tension. Link to post Share on other sites
New_Wife Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 I posted to you there and I'll post to you here. You could better spend your time finding out why your wife is not interested in sex with you. Be it a chemical imbalance, poor performance issues, quick starter, or taking too long without gratification for her, faking orgasms (all men think their women don't do it - we do), emotional distance, etc. You married her for better or worse, no? Or did your vows include "unless you won't give it up as much as I want - then I can screw around"? And if so, can I see the video for kicks? Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 Originally posted by surfer2000 I know it sounds crazy but it actually helps me with my marriage. I am a much happier person when I can let go of some of the tension. Me thinks this only helps you and not the marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
shygurl Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 You may *think* it helps you with your marriage but it's surely not truly helping your marriage because in order for you to claim it did, the other half of your marriage (read: your WIFE) would need to know about your dirty little secrets and she'd have to AGREE that it was helpful to your marriage. Following so far? How can you say you love your wife when you're sharing your body (visually) with strangers on the internet behind her back? What happens one day if you go showing off your big schlong to some teenage girl, thinking it's an adult female - and you get busted and go to jail? Guess the jig will be up then. Have you ever considered that maybe there's a reason your wife isn't interested in sex? Have you ever even taken the time and effort to sit down and have an open discussion about this? Or was showing your pee-pee to the WWW your first step? Maybe she's not interested in sex because you treat her like crap/take her for granted/don't romance her/don't help her out/don't support her/don't make her feel desired and special? Maybe it's because you have nut funk? Maybe it's because you're way out of shape and she's not attracted to that 12 pack? Maybe she's depressed and could use your love and support? Maybe she's got a hormonal imbalance related to menopause but doesn't know it? Maybe you're a dead lay? Maybe she's not happy in the marriage but remains because it's comfortable and familiar? Link to post Share on other sites
Miffy Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Shygurl - what's nut funk - a new expression for me and a great sounding one but could do with using in the right context so please advise! To surfer: Shygurl's comments are cutting - she quite often is, but is also very often right on the subjects she speaks and is in this case IMO. Maybe it's because I don't understand the camming thing - one day soon your wife may catch you in full stroke as they say and then you've had it. You write on here as if it's an advert to come and talk to you and join in so you really can't expect people to be sympathetic. We've all done things we are not happy about, but the majority of us on here aren't boastful about it. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Any of you girls interested in having some fun with him? Link to post Share on other sites
Miffy Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 ha ha very funny westernxer - he sells himself so well as the perfect partner, how could any of us resist???? Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 If you want this system to work out you should make sure that both you and the other woman share the same desire, just like what you already had. Another married woman would be a better choice than a single one who might fall in love and expect you to divorce. Be very careful and don't forget that you risk to be caught. Wives have little understanding for the "you didn't want to give me sex" explanation. I kinda understand that if you have a high sex drive and your partner wants it once a week, after a while you will feel unfulfilled. Make sure you use protection. Link to post Share on other sites
shygurl Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer If you want this system to work out you should make sure that both you and the other woman share the same desire, just like what you already had. Another married woman would be a better choice than a single one who might fall in love and expect you to divorce. Be very careful and don't forget that you risk to be caught. Wives have little understanding for the "you didn't want to give me sex" explanation. I kinda understand that if you have a high sex drive and your partner wants it once a week, after a while you will feel unfulfilled. Make sure you use protection. Why would you encourage this obvious Husband-of-the-Year to not only go behind his wife's back and have cybersex and show off his cocktail weenie....but actually be encouraging him to get involved with a woman who's MARRIED - thereby there's 2 marriages that have sh*theads for spouses. This is the most insane response I've ever seen you write, RP. Link to post Share on other sites
shygurl Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Originally posted by Miffy Shygurl - what's nut funk - a new expression for me and a great sounding one but could do with using in the right context so please advise! Nut funk is another expression for smelly balls aka crotch rot. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Originally posted by shygurl Maybe she's not interested in sex because you treat her like crap/take her for granted/don't romance her/don't help her out/don't support her/don't make her feel desired and special? Maybe it's because you have nut funk? Maybe it's because you're way out of shape and she's not attracted to that 12 pack? Maybe she's depressed and could use your love and support? Maybe she's got a hormonal imbalance related to menopause but doesn't know it? Maybe you're a dead lay? Maybe she's not happy in the marriage but remains because it's comfortable and familiar? Maybe! But that doesn't answer his question. You're being judgmental and saying things he doesn't need to hear. If somebody asks you "Excuse me, is the lawyer for divorces on the first floor?" you say "Yes." and not "Have you tried to work on your marriage first?" Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted July 14, 2005 Share Posted July 14, 2005 i agree rp, its like advising people to use drugs safely as poss instead of just saying no, since if someones determined to do what they do, they will. and surfer 2000, sorry, not interested! Link to post Share on other sites
shygurl Posted July 14, 2005 Share Posted July 14, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer Maybe! But that doesn't answer his question. You're being judgmental and saying things he doesn't need to hear. If somebody asks you "Excuse me, is the lawyer for divorces on the first floor?" you say "Yes." and not "Have you tried to work on your marriage first?" Oh gee, me bad - it's terrible when people on RELATIONSHIP FORUMS don't tell people exactly what they want to hear. So rotten of me to consider this guy's poor wife (for he's surely not). By the way, this particular forum isn't one intended to condone and support the behavior of married people going out and cheating, read up on it. How do you know he does or doesn't need to hear? Maybe it's time, for his wife's sake (you know - the woman he made solemn vows to when he stood there at the front of the aisle - things like "forsaking all others", "for better or worse"), for him to get his head outta his butt and consider his wife in all of this................maybe there's a very legit reason his wife isn't interested in sex but he's decided to take the selfish easy way out and just go screwing around behind her back instead. In case you missed it, this guy was going around on here trying to solicit women from this site to partake in his webcam show-and-tell. You answer your posts your way, RP, I'll answer them my way. I wonder if you'd be so enlightened about this kind of thing if you found out that your boyfriend (who can't even decide if he wants to marry you) was back home on the U.S., having cybersex on a webcam with all kinds of women - all because you're "not there" and he's horny. Would you be so openminded then? I think not. Link to post Share on other sites
Miffy Posted July 14, 2005 Share Posted July 14, 2005 Now now no slanging matches purlease!!!! This forum is supposed to be a bit more considerate that the infidelity one and be a support for people having an affair. People who don't agree should stay on the infidelity forum and complain about all us monsters on there. Link to post Share on other sites
tinareed Posted August 7, 2005 Share Posted August 7, 2005 I have a coworker who has been married for 22 years - a 46 year old bombshell. She is having an affiar with another coworker who has been married for abaout the same time and is the same. I have never seen his wife but I know her husband and like him very much. They are together all the time - when she isn't with the other guy once a week. She and he and the lot are always in a good mood. Now then, I recently, and unfortunately got involved (and am trying to get uninvolved) with a MM as I am single and cannot participate in all this fun. But, I confided in her and she said the sex with her husband - she doesn't know that I know about the other guy (the entire company does) - is boring. I venture to guess that's why she has #2. I must say I am confused. So many marriages break up and so many men just want to have fun on the side. Of course working it out is best but why do you choose to stay? I am trying not to criticize but if your wife had a friend to play with would you be ok with it? Please say yes - because my MM said he'd be furious with her if she did. Link to post Share on other sites
tinareed Posted August 9, 2005 Share Posted August 9, 2005 Ok, once and for all. Let's end this nonsense. First of all, you are on the wrong site. We are women who are involved with married men who have or have not loved us with or without strings attached. Our situation is not as honky dory as yours and you are using up megabytes. Secondly. Even though I have never been in your shoes I can understand your needs. I am very open minded (hell, I wouldn't be in this mess if I wasn't) and if pics and webs or whatever help you and somehow you and your wife want to stay together - ISN'T THAT THE STORY OF THE MEN WE WOMEN ARE INVOLVED WITH, SADLY - then by all means. There is a web site called Eroticy dot com where you can find anything you want. Provided you are over 18. I don't work for it nor promote it but it helped me a lot a few years ago when I really needed it. And no, for those reading this, most people on there are not pervs - just good people so no hate mail plz. Anyway, I suggest this for what you wrote requesting. And so you will go there and NOT HERE for those needs. Good luck to you. And ladies, lighten up. This poor guy stumbled in the wrong place. Tina Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 9, 2005 Share Posted August 9, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer Any of you girls interested in having some fun with him? Any of you guys interested in having some fun with him? surfer2000, You've convinced yourself that what you're doing is OK. Hey, it's not and it's selfish. Do you ever have any intention of telling your wife?? What if she finds out. Imagine HOW she is going to feel. All that pain...IS whacking off on the web cam or banging OW that you know (or knew) worth it? Why aren't you talking to your wife to fix things and work together to get your sex life back on track. I hope sometime you figure this out... Here's something..How would you feel if your wife was doing the same thing as you. Link to post Share on other sites
tinareed Posted August 10, 2005 Share Posted August 10, 2005 I have written to the moderator about your posts. I am sick of your preaching. You are most definately a scorned wife who is venting her anger. 1000's of posts - please get help. btw, are you one of the moderators yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 10, 2005 Share Posted August 10, 2005 Originally posted by tinareed I have written to the moderator about your posts. I am sick of your preaching. You are most definately a scorned wife who is venting her anger. 1000's of posts - please get help. btw, are you one of the moderators yourself? I wasn't rude Tina. I don't know what your problem is with me. You're the one who is getting all bent out of shape. I can give my thoughts on this thread, I can try to "prevent" a mistake from happening, prevent somebody else's pain. Sorry if you're offended by me and something I've said. I looked back and can't see why you're so upset with what I've said. Obviously you're an OW and I've struck a cord in you? I don't know. Email the mods, and if I receive an email or a PM about something I've said wrong here (which, btw, part of that last post I did was a JOKE for Westy...So that one comment wasn't directed at the original poster) but I don't think my thoughts were offensive. You're the one too who keeps on at me. If you have a problem with me -Please feel free to PM me and let's take privately as right now you're hijacking the thread - Just as I am now. I look forward to a PM from you. You are most definately a scorned wife who is venting her anger. 1000's of posts - please get help. btw, are you one of the moderators yourself? PS I'm not a scorned wife, I don't vent anger, not 1000 posts, so don't exaggerate and also don't assume, you don't know me at all. And I'm not a Mod. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted August 10, 2005 Share Posted August 10, 2005 Originally posted by tinareed I have written to the moderator about your posts. I am sick of your preaching. You are most definately a scorned wife who is venting her anger. 1000's of posts - please get help. btw, are you one of the moderators yourself? WWIU did not post anything remotely wrong. She posted her opinion, which by the way, she managed to do it more politely than 98% of the other posters here!!! I think you over-exaggerated (it's not that serious) Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted August 10, 2005 Share Posted August 10, 2005 I think everybody should stop.. it's a public forum. Whether or not you've been with a MM doesn't matter.. they can still post on this forum. Because it's just that.. PUBLIC And WWIU was most certainly not rude.. I've seen how rude people can be, and have never seen it from her.. Link to post Share on other sites
sylviaguardian Posted August 10, 2005 Share Posted August 10, 2005 Hey Surfer, Sounds like you are having heaps of fun and 'helping your marriage out'. It would be interesting to know how your wife gets her kicks too. Perhaps she doesn't want sex with you because she is having a whole lot of fun somewhere else herself. I am assuming that that would be fine with you of course. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted August 10, 2005 Share Posted August 10, 2005 Originally posted by tinareed I have written to the moderator about your posts. I am sick of your preaching. You are most definately a scorned wife who is venting her anger. 1000's of posts - please get help. btw, are you one of the moderators yourself? If whichway is preaching, then I'm the Pope on dope with a rubber tongue... know what I mean? Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted August 10, 2005 Share Posted August 10, 2005 i agree, i have never found wwiu offensive! Link to post Share on other sites
tinareed Posted August 12, 2005 Share Posted August 12, 2005 Sorry, folks, I disagree. . "how would YOU feel?" "The poor wife? The little children and their daddy" (repsonse to my post). And yes, I looked at your profile - you DO post over 4000 posts - unless this is a misprint. This place is more like a henhouse than a support group. There should be NO criticism of OW here from anyone - particularly those women claiming not to be one. And that is MY opinion. You don't have to like it either. Link to post Share on other sites
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