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Waiting 2 years


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Old 13th October 2018, 6:35 PM   #1
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Waiting 2 years

How long does a guy wait for a woman? Itís been 2 years of words and promises but sheís still with her husband while Iím now divorced and waiting patiently,,, but she maintains she will leave and weíll be together eventually. Words,words but no action,,, should I move on and forget even though I love that woman?
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Old 13th October 2018, 6:44 PM   #2
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Yes.

If she wanted to be divorced, she would be.
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Old 13th October 2018, 7:06 PM   #3
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Yes.

If she wanted to be divorced, she would be.
Honestly I agree with you,,, but how can I move on when I see her through work almost every day,, we talk daily,, this has been hard and will get harder!
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Old 13th October 2018, 7:32 PM   #4
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It is really tough if you have to see her every day, I have only had to deal with occasionally running into him and that's tough enough.

Try to minimize how much you have to see her and only talk, if necessary, about work.

Let her know you can't do this anymore and when she is divorced to let you know and you'll reconsider then, if you are available.

It's really hard, I won't lie. But she has no motivation to end her marriage if she gets to keep things as they are and still have you. And it's impacting your mental and physical health, whether you realize it or not.

Love yourself - cliche, but necessary if you want to be happy and move forward.
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Old 13th October 2018, 9:17 PM   #5
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I donít know how to simply walk away from a woman I truly love,,, she claims she does too, she claims sheíll leave and weíll be together,,, why would someone say things like that if they donít mean it? How do I walk away knowing I made the right decision? Also regarding the work issue, this woman is also my assistant on many projects( sheís indespensible ) ,,,the moment Iím close to her I feel this immense attraction and a flood of feelings overwhelms me,,, I just canít see how I can bring myself to work with her or without her?? Please help me!!!
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Old 13th October 2018, 10:03 PM   #6
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What advice are you looking for exactly?

It's been two years. Two years and she hasn't left her husband...

If she hasn't left him by now, especially considering that you have made yourself "available," it's doubtful she ever will.

This is a perfect example of why you should never get involved with someone at work. It makes for messy personal and professional issues when the relationship ends.

Finding My Way gave you good advice about trying to distance yourself from this woman. If you are not able to deal with seeing her at work, you may need to consider looking for a new job.

Sorry, not much sympathy here. As my mother used to tell me when I was younger, you made your bed and now you get to lay in it...
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Old 13th October 2018, 10:30 PM   #7
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Thanks for the advice BaileyB! Iíve been through hell the last year with ups and downs but Iím at a point where I know I did all I could, I treated that woman like a princess,,,gave her everything I could but she prefers to stay in her unhappy relationship. I do know getting involved with a MW was a mistake which I learned the hard way,,, and yes I made my bed!
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Old 14th October 2018, 8:04 AM   #8
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I made up my mind to wait forever, but then, I clearly hate myself.

I wouldn't recommend it.
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Old 14th October 2018, 8:41 AM   #9
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If she says she's going to leave and hasn't maybe you need to help her out by exposing the affair to her husband. The big blow up of exposure will force her to make a decision. If she doesn't chose you, then walk away.
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Old 14th October 2018, 9:15 AM   #10
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If she says she's going to leave and hasn't maybe you need to help her out by exposing the affair to her husband. The big blow up of exposure will force her to make a decision. If she doesn't chose you, then walk away.
You have a great point Stillafool,,, I donít know how her husband hasnít found out,, this is a small town and people know,people talk but the husband either doesnít care or is blind.
I totally agree with you that telling him would answer a lot of questions because to this day she behaves like a happy wife in his presence and the poor man has no idea what his wife is doing. A DD would definitely show me where she stands and it would be her opportunity to end her marriage, if she doesnít itís going to be easy for me to walk away and my questions would be answered.
So I would like advice from ppl if this would be a good idea to tell him,, at this point I have nothing else to lose and Iím running out of options.
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Old 14th October 2018, 9:28 AM   #11
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She hasn't made a move because she doesn't want to.
Do you really want a woman like that?
Forcing her hand by telling her husband gets you an unwilling partner, is that what you want?

You need to walk away and leave them to it.
You have wasted too much time already.
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Old 14th October 2018, 9:40 AM   #12
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She hasn't made a move because she doesn't want to.
Do you really want a woman like that?
Forcing her hand by telling her husband gets you an unwilling partner, is that what you want?

You need to walk away and leave them to it.
You have wasted too much time already.
Elaine I have tried to walk away but I love that woman and Iím drawn back in the affair every time,, I need closure of the affair,, either her words are true and weíll be together or sheís playing a game with my feelings and emotions. If she wants to stay married I donít want to ever get pulled back in the affair because without a DD sheíll be back!
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Old 14th October 2018, 9:54 AM   #13
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Elaine I have tried to walk away but I love that woman and Iím drawn back in the affair every time,, I need closure of the affair,, either her words are true and weíll be together or sheís playing a game with my feelings and emotions. If she wants to stay married I donít want to ever get pulled back in the affair because without a DD sheíll be back!
Actions speak louder than words, you already know that.
Words : she TELLS you she loves you and you will be together
Actions: she STAYS in her marriage and is probably telling her husband she loves him too...

You may love her, but does she love you? Maybe but probably not in the way you would want her to.
If she did you would not be on this forum today.


Are there kids involved here?
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Old 14th October 2018, 10:01 AM   #14
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Actions speak louder than words, you already know that.
Words : she TELLS you she loves you and you will be together
Actions: she STAYS in her marriage and is probably telling her husband she loves him too...

You may love her, but does she love you? Maybe but probably not in the way you would want her to.
If she did you would not be on this forum today.


Are there kids involved here?
The kids are adults now and on their own
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Old 14th October 2018, 10:05 AM   #15
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I would want to be with a woman who I know, chose to be with me.

I would not want to be with her because I told her husband, blew up her world, and she had no other option.
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