winnie_05 Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 I'm in love with my boyfriends Dad, i know this is wrong. Nothing has happened between us. I just don't know what to do anymore. Anyone who can offer me any help? or who has been through something similiar? Link to post Share on other sites
Devildog Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 I always find it funny how quickly and easily so many people fall in "love". How old are you? What exactly is it about your bf's dad that you are in "love" with? Don't confuse infatuation and lust with love. Link to post Share on other sites
Author winnie_05 Posted July 7, 2005 Author Share Posted July 7, 2005 I'm 20. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years so ive known him a long time. My feelings started for him before christmas last year. I don't know really there is just something about him, and I am really attracted to him. ?? Winnie Link to post Share on other sites
Devildog Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 Okay, so 3 1/2 years. Are you sure it isn't being comfortable having known him that long. Perhaps it is little more than caring about someone who has been a part of your life for a long time. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 Why are you still with your boyfriend? Are you using him to be near his father? Does his father know how you feel? If you have not told him, then you still have a chance to walk away with a minimum of damage to all parties involved. Perhaps you should cut your boyfriend loose. You are hurting him far worse in the long run by staying with him when you are in love with someone else. Put the very last shreds of respect and love you have left for him to good use and let him go so that he will be able to find a chance for love and happiness elsewhere. Don't doom him to a life of "happiness" as your backup plan and security blanket. I can't think of anything more horrifying than the idea of being with someone who secretly wishes that they were with someone else (particularly if its someone close). It is grossly unfair to your boyfriend for you to keep him when you don't really want him, and in fact want his father. If you break up with your boyfriend, he will not be happy about it. As good as honesty is, in a case like this it will do no good to be honest with him about how you feel about his father - you have no idea on how many levels that will affect him. Do not 'go for' his father. There is a zero chance of anything good coming of it, and a 100% chance that you will f*ck things up for yourself and for that family on so many levels. Link to post Share on other sites
Author winnie_05 Posted July 7, 2005 Author Share Posted July 7, 2005 I really do love my boyfriend and deep down it is him I want to spend my life with him. Maybe its not love I feel for his Dad, I think I just lust after him. I am really attracted to him. Maybe its the excitement i don't know. I've never said anything to him about it but sometimes I think he knows because of how we look at each other. I sometimes get the feeling he likes me and feels awkward. I really don't want to hurt anyone, thats not my intention, I cant help the way i feel. I do love my boyfriend, I just have strong feelings towards his Dad (which I know are wrong). I am confused tho because deep down I cant really imagine anything happening even though I would like to just see what could happen, but at the same time as wanting this to happen; i dont want to hurt my boyfriend as I do love him and feel awful for feeling this but I cant help it. Its confusing me so much. Link to post Share on other sites
lynnered Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 please just come here and vent, do not do anything, think have u ever watched jerry springer ?? its his FATHER u will hurt this boy/man so much that is way too close to ur boyfriends home life goodluck Link to post Share on other sites
smile95 Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 that kinda creeps me out...I guess since my bf's fathers have always been so unattractive. Is this man married to the bfs mother??? Does he ever come onto you? Link to post Share on other sites
VirginiaBob Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 I have some good advice. Tell both the father and the bf that you are interested in a 3-some with them. Don't worry, guys like this kind of stuff so it will be cool for them. You never know until you ask them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author winnie_05 Posted July 7, 2005 Author Share Posted July 7, 2005 I know it does. It took me 3 years to feel this way, and I dont think I really thought of him in this way until 7 months ago. No he never has, its just the way we look at each other, its like he feels the same. I cant describe it but you know when theres an attraction between two people the way you look at each other. Its like that. I know its wrong, but when theres something between two people, what can u do?! Link to post Share on other sites
lynnered Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 I know its wrong, but when theres something between two people, what can u do? u can leave it alone , u can not go over ur boyfriends house so much when u know his dad is there, u can break up wh ur boyfriend &forget them both u can look at this in a adult way & know it wouldnt be right even if ur feelings are real , do u know how many times u will fall in love ?? there is not just one man for us our whole life if we dont end up wh that one Never again will we fall in love ?? no its not like that at all Link to post Share on other sites
Author winnie_05 Posted July 8, 2005 Author Share Posted July 8, 2005 I know your right, it knocked some sense into me now i've come on here to talk about it. Do u reckon i want him for the excitment then? I enjoy the chase to be honest, the flirting between us. Well i don't know if he even likes me, (i think he does, but there are a few times when I don't think he does) but how would I know? out of interest I swear though I have no intention of hurting my boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
lynnered Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Do u reckon i want him for the excitment then? I enjoy the chase to be honest, the flirting between us. for me, i know its over when i start to have interest in someone else , are u bored wh ur boyfriend? as for the chase do u really think hes interested ? u are his sons girl , he may think of u as a kid (i hope anyway) Maybe it is exciting 4 u , if something is missing in ur life look within urself , not someone else to fill ur voids If u have no intention of hurting ur boyfriend , do nothing about these feelings& dont ever tell him! Link to post Share on other sites
SassyBug Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 The Dad is flirting with you? Please consider stopping this now! That is plain disrespectful, on his part and on your part. Its okay to have fantasies and attractions. But you have to be careful not to act on them! Lusts and infatuations not acted upon can create longings...and you can't stop thinking about it until you go through with it. If you really LOVE your boyfriend please do anything you can to CURB your desire for his Dad I mean really, would you want someone you loved dearly to DO YOUR MOM? You are young, and you have your whole life ahead of you. Don't create a bad situation that you will regret later. Is just isn't right There are rules you know Just 'cuz the folks on Jerry Springer do it doesn't mean you have to love YOURSELF enough to not go down that road and thank your lucky stars you have the boyfriend you have try something new and special with your boyfriend, something to look forward to, and listen to your heart your heart won't steer you wrong lust will. good luck to you if I sound like I'm being harsh and in your face please don't take it that way I'm 38, I've experienced a lot of things, and young lady please LOVE YOURSELF FIRST. good luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Maybe you have fallen for the ideal of what your boyfriend could possible become? As they say, the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. Link to post Share on other sites
SassyBug Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 and p.s. don't take VirginiaBob's advice. 3-somes may sound like fun but in the end someone's heart always gets broken. and men do like that, yeah, and there's nothing wrong with fantasies it's rare that a 3 some works out you have to have 3 willing parties and you have to have trust and you have to make sure nobody's feelings get hurt. just wanted to comment on the 3 some thing because you have to be responsible acting out those kind of fantasies I do speak from experience focus on your HEART first Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by VirginiaBob I have some good advice. Tell both the father and the bf that you are interested in a 3-some with them. Don't worry, guys like this kind of stuff so it will be cool for them. You never know until you ask them. Why not include the mother as well? And of course, the sister! Link to post Share on other sites
SassyBug Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 I replied about the 3-some thing too but Record Producer's reply is better, I think and FUNNIER and gets the point across. Link to post Share on other sites
mazza32cott Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 I really believe that you should stop this infatuation with his father now. You will only break up a family to take it any further. It is a feeling but one that is not hopeless. I cannot help how I feel? Yes you can!!! And you certainly DO NOT have to act on them. Control your feelings, do not spend anymore time than you HAVE to with his dad and move on. Don't even think of his father and you anymore. Maz Link to post Share on other sites
SassyBug Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 I agree with Maz, yes you can help your feelings!!! and please consider all that are involved!!!! and don't disrespect yourself, you are certainly worth more than that!! Link to post Share on other sites
tacoman Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 You need to be miles away from this. regardless, i dont see how you think anything could actually happen. Obviously your boyfriend will freak out, what do you expect, his dad is going to write off his entire relationship and family for a 20 year old girl? It is the forbideness that you lust for, possibly him the same. But i can gurantee when it comes down to it, he is going to choose his own son over you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author winnie_05 Posted July 8, 2005 Author Share Posted July 8, 2005 I know what your all saying is right, i know its wrong to be feeling this. I dont suppose it makes any difference but his son is adopted. Its probably the excitement that I want, the fact I know it cant happen makes you want something more. Link to post Share on other sites
Justagirl2008 Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by VirginiaBob I have some good advice. Tell both the father and the bf that you are interested in a 3-some with them. Don't worry, guys like this kind of stuff so it will be cool for them. You never know until you ask them. Hah hah hah hah Link to post Share on other sites
Neptune Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 Unfortunately the real culprit is likely to be the father. He is no spring chicken and is likely aware of your feelings to some degree. He can read your body language. He needs to get a hold of what he is doing. If he were a responsible dad who cared about his son, once he perceived your infatuation with him, he would make sure to sabatoge the situation. But men have ego`s and you are probably a pretty young thing. He cannot let it go. He should, for the sake of his son. Link to post Share on other sites
mazza32cott Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 Originally posted by winnie_05 I know what your all saying is right, i know its wrong to be feeling this. I dont suppose it makes any difference but his son is adopted. Its probably the excitement that I want, the fact I know it cant happen makes you want something more. OK so you know what is being said is right. No it makes no difference whether the son is adopted or not. If it's excitement you want then look for it elsewhere. I don't see what the problem is. You know it is wrong, you know it would break up a family. Put it out of your head. You can help your feelings so you should do something about it. Don't see him anymore than you have to and if your bf does not give you what you need then perhaps leave the family alone altogether and move on to find what you want. Don't think about his father, it is out of the question. Seems to me you are brooding on it??? Maz Link to post Share on other sites
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