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Does your MM spend time with you outside the bedroom?


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Mizz Layta

I've been with an MM for a year and we yet gone out on date nor has he been at my place --he always have excuses as to why he can't and there's always next time.

 

He always wants to meet for sex during his work hours in the woods/bushes close by his work. I'm the one always driving to his work so we can meet on his lunch time..Would love to go for walks but he always has an excuse to go after sex is over .I'm ready to end it

 

Does your MM wine and dine you or is always about sex?

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starswewillnavigate

Wait a minute... you're going to HIM and having sex in the outdoors. He's not even respecting you enough to splash out on a hotel room for you? Why are you doing this to yourself?

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There's nothing wrong with sex outdoors!

 

 

It's more enjoyable, almost an instinctive animalistic tone to it.

 

 

 

Don't knock it until you try it!

 

 

As far as his excuses goes, well you do have to accept that he has another life with other people in it that needs to be considered.

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He always wants to meet for sex during his work hours in the woods/bushes close by his work. I'm the one always driving to his work so we can meet on his lunch time..Would love to go for walks but he always has an excuse to go after sex is over .I'm ready to end it

 

He has an excuse because all he's looking for is sex. There's no incentive to do anything more for you when he's getting easy and available sex without having to put forth any effort. If that's enough for you then continue, but if you are looking for more, then being with a married man isn't the way to go.

 

Does your MM wine and dine you or is always about sex?

 

Does it matter? Focus on your own situation because it's pretty apparent. And deep down you know it.

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Why do you have such little respect for yourself that you are willing to have sex with a man who is unwilling to offer you anything more than a quick "meeting" in the bushes?

 

Don't you deserve a little more than this? Seriously. This breaks my heart.

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Mizz Layta
He has an excuse because all he's looking for is sex. There's no incentive to do anything more for you when he's getting easy and available sex without having to put forth any effort. If that's enough for you then continue, but if you are looking for more, then being with a married man isn't the way to go.

 

 

 

Does it matter? Focus on your own situation because it's pretty apparent. And deep down you know it.

 

 

Well I had hopes for the relationship turning into something more meanful because he yold me his relationship was over and he was in the process of moving out.A year later nothing changed and he won't see me any other times than his work hours.

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Well I had hopes for the relationship turning into something more meanful because he yold me his relationship was over and he was in the process of moving out.A year later nothing changed and he won't see me any other times than his work hours.

 

Darling girl, a relationship with a man who will only meet you for sex during work hours in the bushes is not going to turn meaningful... This is about sex, when and where it's convenient for HIM. Nothing more.

 

You have a big decision to make. You have wasted a year of your life, how much more time are you going to waste on this man...

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somanymistakes

Well, it doesn't sound like you're spending any time in the bedroom exactly either, if you don't even have a room!

 

Sounds like your arrangement is strictly sex. If you want something else you probably need a different relationship, not with this guy.

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he yold me his relationship was over and he was in the process of moving out.

 

 

There's no reason to believe anything he says is true.

 

 

 

Now perhaps you understand why people with dating experience will not get involved with a person who is "married and living together but getting divorced soon" because much of the time it never happens.

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RecentChange
Well I had hopes for the relationship turning into something more meanful because he yold me his relationship was over and he was in the process of moving out.A year later nothing changed and he won't see me any other times than his work hours.

 

cheaters are good at lying.

 

Like how he lies to his wife about where he is every time he is with you.

 

Like how he lies to you about going out on dates - he has no intention to, he can't let his cheating be exposed.

 

He gets to have his wife at home, and hot office sex with you - and you ALLOW him to get away with all of it.

 

You ALLOW him to treat you like a second class citizen, like a dirty secret.

 

Many men would be forced to pay a professional for what you are giving away for free.

 

Love yourself enough to end this. He is simply using you, and you know it. Stop allowing him to.

 

 

There's nothing wrong with sex outdoors!

 

It's more enjoyable, almost an instinctive animalistic tone to it.

 

Don't knock it until you try it!

 

Sure its fun - If its not the only thing you have been relegated to, because your partner doesn't think enough of you, or the relationship to be able to bring it indoors.

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This won't change. This is a situation where even if he did become single he would not turn you into a girlfriend. This is because he has put you into the category of booty call. Have you ever heard men complain of being put into the dreaded friend zone by their romantic interest? Guys dread the friend zone because they know it's nearly impossible to get out of that place once they've been placed there. Women face the equivalent but instead of the friend zone they get booty call zoned and that's also a pretty difficult place to come back from.

 

The only way out of this painful situation is to end it. Hopefully one day soon you will see yourself as being too good for this and walk away

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I will never understand how some men can be this cruel. I couldn’t be with someone that I wasn’t interested in, nevermind using someone that I knew was interested in me. It’s truly awful.

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I've been with an MM for a year and we yet gone out on date nor has he been at my place --he always have excuses as to why he can't and there's always next time.

 

He always wants to meet for sex during his work hours in the woods/bushes close by his work. I'm the one always driving to his work so we can meet on his lunch time..Would love to go for walks but he always has an excuse to go after sex is over .I'm ready to end it

 

Does your MM wine and dine you or is always about sex?

 

I have some questions:

 

1/Is the sex super super great, like best sex of your life?

 

2/How often do you guys meet?

 

3/Other than meeting up for sex, do you guys talk/chat/remain in touch the rest of the time? If yes, how often is that?

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He is in a relationship he is not going to take you out to wine and dine you. Even if his relationship is almost over. He has a lot at stake divorce or brake ups are messy and his time is going to be limited he will only have a few minutes to see you and he would really have to go after. If he has told you that he cares for you or loves you then tell him it bothers you. If he gets mad or refuses to try to do better its time to move on.

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Well I had hopes for the relationship turning into something more meanful because he yold me his relationship was over and he was in the process of moving out.A year later nothing changed and he won't see me any other times than his work hours.

 

It’s not a relationship when he’s married and having sex with you in the bushes.

 

Married men lie. He feeds you a whole lot of nothing to keep you where you are so that you’ll keep giving him nice benefits.

 

He won’t see you any other time other than work hours because that’s the only time he can be away without his wife knowing. Work gives him an easy excuse to have “sex and run” because he can’t be away for too long.

 

Aim higher for yourself.

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Mizz Layta
I have some questions:

 

1/Is the sex super super great, like best sex of your life?

 

2/How often do you guys meet?

 

3/Other than meeting up for sex, do you guys talk/chat/remain in touch the rest of the time? If yes, how often is that?

 

I would say he is best lover I ever had as he cares about my pleasure.Most of the guys I've been with in the past(single guys)were lousy in bed.They don't like foreplay and only care about thier own pleasure

 

We usually meet one or twice a week.Mostly once a week

 

Yes we do talk but not everyday.He used to text more in the early stages of getting to know each other, even when he is at home.The communication in between meet ups has become less frequent over time.Now I hardly hear from him when he is home and if i do text I never get a response--unless if it's something important

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Mizz Layta
ItÂ’s not a relationship when heÂ’s married and having sex with you in the bushes.

 

Married men lie. He feeds you a whole lot of nothing to keep you where you are so that youÂ’ll keep giving him nice benefits.

 

He won’t see you any other time other than work hours because that’s the only time he can be away without his wife knowing. Work gives him an easy excuse to have “sex and run” because he can’t be away for too long.

 

Aim higher for yourself.

 

I've considered that myself too.It's a perfet set up for him to have legitimate reason to leave right after sex. I'm just tied if these quick meet ups during his work hours as they are fundamentally unsatisfying.There are times when our plans falls through because something came up at work.

 

He has been saying how he wants to take a day off at work to come over at my place but when it comes to it there's always an excuse to why he can't .I guess he has no interest in spending time with me despite his relationship status?

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CautiouslyOptimistic
I guess he has no interest in spending time with me despite his relationship status?

 

Why do you believe what he says about his relationship status?

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I've considered that myself too.It's a perfet set up for him to have legitimate reason to leave right after sex. I'm just tied if these quick meet ups during his work hours as they are fundamentally unsatisfying.There are times when our plans falls through because something came up at work.

 

He has been saying how he wants to take a day off at work to come over at my place but when it comes to it there's always an excuse to why he can't .I guess he has no interest in spending time with me despite his relationship status?

 

He has no interest in spending quality time with you. His only interest is to have sex. This is why he has excuses.

 

He is declining spending any more time with you other than sex because he is managing your expectations. He's trying to keep your expectations as low as possible because he knows he cannot and does not want to give you anything more.

 

Spending alone time together creates intimacy and bonding. He is avoiding that because he doesn't see this as anything more than just sex - that is why he only invests just enough time to "sex and run".

 

The way he treats you should repulse you. Giving him sex isn't going to make him want you. If anything, it's benefiting him and chipping away at your self-esteem.

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Mizz Layta
Why do you believe what he says about his relationship status?

 

I guess because I wanted it to work .As matter of fact my therapist told me I try to hold on into bad relationships or crappy man because I believe I will fix them and everything will work out in the end. I just realized that sometimes I have to walk away if that person doesn't meet my standards

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I would say he is best lover I ever had as he cares about my pleasure.Most of the guys I've been with in the past(single guys)were lousy in bed.They don't like foreplay and only care about thier own pleasure.

 

He cares about your pleasure when you are hooking up during his breaks at work in the bushes? Perhaps, you need to raise your standards just a little...

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Mizz Layta

Thank you everyone for your insights. When this man came in my life ,I was in dark place .I have been single for few years. I tried dating but it never worked out .It seemed like everyone just wants sex without the commitment...even single guys. And the other guys around me were either already married or in a relationship

 

The bottom line is I was lonely, I felt empty and bored, a little insecure, somewhat depressed. I craved for attention , validation , affection. So I believed him when he told me his relationship was over and they were just trying to work custody issues for their 2 children. I guess I believed it because I wanted to

 

The thing is, I think about ending it a lot . I tell myself this isn't worth it, I have to end it, then he texts and I keep telling myself next time. Part of me is scared to end it because I've became attached to him and ripping him away will be painful. I know I have to end it and go back into my solitary life. The sooner the better

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What do you actually get from him? As someone said, you need to raise your standards. He gives you little to nothing - that’s worse than the pain of ending it, which will be a temporary phase. Staying with him will hurt you indefinitely and damage your self esteem even more.

 

You can’t fill your void with a man. Love yourself.

Edited by Zahara
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Mizz Layta
What do you actually get from him? As someone said, you need to raise your standards. He gives you little to nothing - that’s worse than the pain of ending it, which will be a temporary phase. Staying with him will hurt you indefinitely and damage your self esteem even more.

 

You can’t fill your void with a man. Love yourself.

 

you're right..I don't see this getting any better .I'll just end up hating myself

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CautiouslyOptimistic
I guess because I wanted it to work .As matter of fact my therapist told me I try to hold on into bad relationships or crappy man because I believe I will fix them and everything will work out in the end. I just realized that sometimes I have to walk away if that person doesn't meet my standards

 

How did you two meet?

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